Croix de l'Chrysalis
by Raining Sky Guy
Summary: The Winter War has dragged on too long and Aizen has proven a difficult man to stay dead. Hopes are low and their situation dire, but one thing leads to another and Kurosaki Ichigo is sent to the past to kill the megalomaniac before he gains immortality. Only thing is, his trip might have sent him a tad too far back. Gen.
1. Chapter 1

Created: 4/07/15

Croix de l'Chrysalis

by

Raining Sky Guy

* * *

 **AN.** My first try at time travel! Bleach. **cywscross'** fics make my mind wander a lot. Don't own the individual images, but the cover was made by yours truly. It, of course, got butchered up by the wonderful image editor but the link to the full version can be found on my profile. **Edit:** Actually just go to my (new) tumblr: rainingskyguy, it's one of the first posts.

* * *

With a shrill and ungainly scream of fright, Kurosaki Ichigo was dumped on the ground.

"Oof!"

…Or more like, on top of some unlucky bastard.

Disoriented in more ways than one, Ichigo ignored the wriggling body underneath his as he waited for the sky to stop spinning….and return to its usual blue.

His head that had started pounding since hours ago still ached, but it was ignored as the teen finally crawled his way off the other.

He had already jumped back, Zangetsu drawn and poised as his battle instincts kicked in— barely second after his mind became the smallest bit lucid.

The unlucky bastard was barely just noticing there was a blade pointed at him and shrunk away, his bum still connected to the ground.

Then the world finally became one in his vision and Ichigo realized he was pointing his sword at a weak little Rukongai soul. His stance dropped as he muted his reiatsu even further —he was so glad he kept it in tight rein out of habit, he knew he could have obliterated everything on a five kilometer radius otherwise.

But anyway, back to the— _fuck it's just a kid._

"Uh… I-sorry. For falling on you and all that." He mumbled awkwardly, fumbling slightly as he realized he better sheathe his sword. Wouldn't it just be awful if the kid died of a heart-attack with him waving the katana around like-

"You're a shinigami?"

An instinct borne out of hatred, fear and his own hollow side sparked to life, overriding every other sensitive thought and Zangetsu was already striking, blade covered in a cover of protective kidou as his reiatsu skyrocketed and his feet pivoted in a way Aizen would get taken by surprise and with some luck he'd die long enough to rip the Hogyoku-

His foot had somehow managed to down the megalomaniac and Zangetsu was inches away from gouging the place where he knew the Hogyouku resided when the clothes ruffled , showing unmarred skin and the smaller than usual god-wannabe started convulsing as if the strength of his reiatsu was somehow overwhelming-

' _Ichigo.'_

The sealed zanpakuto drove itself millimeters away from the crying and frightened face of the _kid_ as Ichigo's mind caught up to what was happening, the serene voice of Zangetsu steadying him enough to reign in his reiatsu.

Both souls stared at each other; one glossed over with tears and fear behind spectacles, but still somehow curious and the other completely horrified at having almost eviscerated some random kid.

For what seemed like the nth time so far, Ichigo's mind did a double take. Blood roared in his ears as his hands once more itched to move the sword. The kid seemed too alike. No, not really, it must be some play with the light, his mind was too tired and-

 _Impossible_.

Ichigo reeled back, horrified and stunned and too many things to notice, his reiatsu falling down to tolerable levels per Zangetsu's orders while they all tried to work their minds on exactly what was going on.

First off, it could be a trap. So he would not sheathe his zanpakuto just yet. The kid was panting, as the pressure on him was removed.

Dark brown eyes gave him a once over, before Ichigo turned away—if he wasn't Aizen he did not deserve to see such pure loathing on his face. But there was no denying the kid looked like him.

Who he was kidding.

He knew Aizen's reiatsu in his sleep. Even if this right now was not tainted with hollow or the mumbo-jumbo of the Hogyoku nor was it as strong as he remembered, but it was essentially the same.

The battle-worn, hardened side of the twenty-year-old wanted to kill the bastard right here, right now. This was what he was sent back to do, anyway. It shouldn't matter that he was sent to the time where Aizen was just a kid. If he needed to be dead, he'd be dead. Ichigo had known, either way that he had been sent back to commit cold-blooded murder… what difference did it make that it was to a child-Aizen?

Actually this might even be for the best, this way they would all avoid any possible repercussion of the many ploys Aizen had built over time. Everything had started once he was a shinigami, so if he never became one…

This was better.

And maybe if, when, he found a way to go back to his time… Karin would still be alive. Karin and Toushiro and Renji and Byakuya and Hiyori and Shinji and—a whole slew of people that had had no reason to die, except Aizen.

"U-um… who are you?"

Ichigo twitched but did not answer. He better get this over, quick.

Decided and slightly despondent, the iconic figure of the war spun in place and in a burst of Shunpo he was standing behind Aizen, sword raised high to deliver the blow of grace while the small soul was still staring at his afterimage.

How would his sisters hate him if they knew.

With that sorrowful note, the blade descended.

* * *

' _Ichigo. It was for the best.'_ Zangetsu was telling him. Ichigo did not know what to think yet. His zanpakuto spirits never seemed to condemn him for anything he did or stopped doing. They could get mad-pissed at him, yes, but they had never —would never— abandon him.

Even if he had just failed everyone.

' _Stop beating yourself for it, Aibou. You chose a path, now stick with it.'_ His Zanpakuto's other persona —who he still called Shiro for clarity's sake— spoke up with a wry sort of tone in his voice. Somehow, humor crept back on his voice, just as always— ' _you'd want to take that foot outa' fire though.'_

With a hissed cursed, Ichigo focused back on the small fire he had built for the night and pulled his feet away from the heat. The movement sent the jutting branch that had been hovering over his foot back to the fire with a crackle and a small burst. The light grew momentarily and dark brown eyes were drawn to the lying figure by it.

It still wasn't too late. He could still get up and throttle him. Ichigo thought half-heartedly, but he knew he wouldn't do it. Not anymore.

Aizen had crumpled to the ground just as Zangetsu was descending on him and the humane side of Ichigo couldn't bring himself to murder. It wouldn't be the first time he killed in cold blood, but knowing that the kid, no matter how messed up and evil and crazy his future self would be, was innocent…

He should have allowed someone else to go back in time.

Volunteers hadn't abounded but there still had been other options.

But he was the strongest. This nobody could deny.

Well… at least after Yamamoto Genryuusai had died on them.

In the end, though, it turned out there was no need for the monstrosity of a power known as Ichigo. Both mad scientist's calculations spoke of a century… just before the hollowifications. Before everything started to unravel. And since nobody had been sure how strong and unpredictable Aizen would be even then, Ichigo had played the better-be-safe-than-sorry card.

His face started aching and he rubbed at it, irritated. Right now his mind was too laden to think of anything properly. He needed time to settle down. Maybe calmer he would be able to kill Aizen properly. He tried not to recoil at the thought, trying to steel himself to the possibility. But right now, he had time. Something that had been scarce in his present. Between trying not to die and trying to kill Aizen that was. Which actually made his current dilemma all the more ludicrous.

This Aizen-in-diapers could never run away from him.

Images arose in his mind that had the battle veteran standing up in a flurry of movement. He just kept getting more stupid. He sheathed the sword he had drawn without any conscious thought and instead extended his arm, gathering reiatsu on it as he tried to remember the words. He didn't know this Aizen— he had no clue at which point he learned to be the manipulative jerk he had been known to be.

Who was to say this boy right now wasn't pulling wool over his eyes?

Ichigo started chanting under his breath, assessing the lying figure. Not even in the academy. No way to materialize his Zanpakuto either. Not that Kyoka Suigetsu would have any effect on him anyway. Not anymore.

His hand started glowing as the specific kidou Kisuke had insisted he learnt before his trip crackled to life. It hadn't exploded on him, so he assumed he had gotten it right for once. He stared at the crackling kanji dancing on his palm, making sure it matched Kisuke's description —if it was unstable it might still blow up.

The young man strode for the limp figure, lowering the neck of his shirt on the back and pressing his open palm between his shoulder blades. The boy whimpered and his skin seemed to burn, but did not wake and when Ichigo removed his hand there was a seal embed in the other's skin.

There. Now the kid had no way of hiding away from him.

He blinked in surprise at the sizable amount of reiatsu that little thing had required. Not enough to even slow him down a fraction, but it still was surprising. Or rather…

Ichigo blinked, his now-usual extra sense picking up something at the back of his mind, like he felt his dual Zanpakuto, but… dormant?

The battle veteran sighed tiredly, finding that annoying, even more so because Kisuke had barely mentioned the effect it would have on him. Ichigo cracked his neck, as he did his best to wrap his mind around that sensation and get used to it.

His eyes stayed trained on the baby Aizen as he moved around with the silence of the night itself, practicing cheap katas just to move around. As soon as his mind was otherwise engaged, the nagging feeling of having something stuck to his brain faded.

Ichigo then closed his eyes and focused on the little extra baggage in his mind and sure enough, it pointed Aizen's way. The seal worked alright.

 _'Ichigo. You should rest. Whatever it is you decide to do, can be decided in the morning as you yourself stated_.' Zangetsu then decided to cut in and suddenly, Ichigo could feel the years weighing on his shoulders.

' _We'll keep watch. Now get a nap, ya' baby.'_ Shiro quipped in. The vizard snorted but easily complied, just jumping away from Aizen. He perched himself atop a tree and succumbed to sleep.

* * *

The little boy stirred and yawned loudly as he returned to the land of the living, blinking all around him in dazed confusion. Despite his inner nickname for him, the child looked at least ten years old, baby fat rounding up his cheeks slightly, but since he was a soul, he could already be a few decades older than Ichigo himself. He looked in perfect health and his gaze was clear and curious of the world around him. Ichigo really appreciated (even if it took him a while to realize) that the boy's shaggy brown hair was not slicked back and instead fell partly on his face. Every single thing that differentiated him from the maniac overlord was deeply appreciated.

The boy being currently scrutinized got up and grabbed the old, thick-framed glasses as he looked at the ashes of last night's fire. It was already late morning and a long while since Ichigo himself had woken up, eyes immediately seeking his target.

Ichigo's hand tightened on his katana. He could still do it.

 _'Ya don't have ta.'_ Shiro suddenly spoke up, startling his wielder. His Quincy counterpart was also listening closely, almost expectantly. _'There should be 'nother way ta prevent all this kaput.'_

Aizen's stomach grumbled from down there and Ichigo looked down in time to see the boy clutching at his own belly in surprise, before he started actually looking around, probably for food.

"D'you suppose I can?" He asked to his spirits, the full meaning conveyed without anything more. He felt unsure. Not killing Aizen was failing everyone he knew. Not killing him was refusing to avenge his sister and friends. Not killing him meant that far in the future, there would still be a hardened and heartbroken Yuzu taking up the bow to avenge her dead sister while Ichigo was stuck on the frontline. Not killing him was returning to see her remaining sister broken after her first dozen kills and knowing he had failed his family.

 _'Not quite,_ ' Zangetsu said, answering his dark thoughts, eager to take his wielder's mind off such business. Zangetsu too had been devastated then. It had been too abrupt of a development and Yuzu had almost not made it when her meager, awakened Quincy powers fought with her latent shinigami blood. Ichigo had discovered even zanpakutos could feel suicidal. _'Not doing anything certainly will amount to the future we come from. But killing Aizen is not the only way to change things.'_

That would mean preventing Aizen from becoming evil.

Was it possible?

Was he willing to try?

Ichigo finally jumped down, resolve still half-assed, making his presence known. As the boy started at the sound and promptly fell on his butt upon spotting him, Ichigo consoled himself.

If anything happened, he could always kill him.

* * *

"Why are you giving me food?" Aizen-in-diapers asked as he nibbled at the roasted fish in his hands. Several meters away from him, Ichigo crouched, tense.

"Weren't you hungry? Why are you complaining?" He replied with the light bad mood he had been so well known for in his teenage years. Or at least he tried to keep it like that. The little buzz of Aizen's presence in his mind did not help at all.

"But weren't you here to kill me?"

Every single muscle of the shinigami froze almost funnily. The scary face of the other got even worse as he pinned him down with a glower. "Mind telling me how you reached that conclusion?"

The kid blinked innocent brown eyes at him. He pushed his glasses up as he answered. "It happens. It has happened twice since I've been alive. Even though I don't think it should be that common." The brunet boy paused as he cocked his head in thought. "But they don't kill them here. They take them away to Seireitei."

The former substitute shinigami blinked in confusion. He opened his mouth to ask, but promptly closed it. What if the other was lying? What would he gain from that?

Make a (supposed) shinigami officer suspicious of his own organization? Suspicious enough to be willing to betray it? To make undercover work for Aizen, to pledge loyalty to whatever fucked-up-ideology suited him best?

He couldn't be sure. He could never be sure with Aizen. He had no clue when exactly he became who Ichigo knew. Identifying this would be key to Ichigo's decisions.

If he was already off the deep end, he'd better end his life now and start looking for a way back to his time.

"What do they do to them, shinigami-san? And what will you do to me?" Aizen-in-diapers (because he simply could not call him 'Aizen' without feeling murderous) continued asking, still curious rather than frightened.

As Ichigo was pondering on his words, what would be safe to say in case this was the manipulative bastard he knew when he was mentally kicked, courtesy of the white Zangetsu.

' _Stop thinkin' yaself in circles. Don't say anythin' stupid, but answer the kid already.'_

"I don't know about any others." Ichigo relented, carefully. He eyed the attentiveness of the other and wondered if it was an act. "But I was out here taking a stroll. You gave me one hell of a scare." He half-lied.

"Did you knock me out?"

"Uh, no. You fell unconscious on your own." Ichigo answered, even if he knew it might be partially his fault. No need for details.

Aizen-in-diapers hummed in thought. He then raised his head again and asked, with the curiosity any children could exhibit. "What is your name, shinigami-san?"

Once more, Ichigo mentally reeled back, his mind going a mile per second trying to guess any ulterior motive behind the question and knowing that _his_ particular surname was a big giveaway.

The name Shiba was recognized in all four corners of Soul Society after all.

And saying Kurosaki might arise some problems in the future. Given his luck, it was almost certain.

...

"…Ichigo. Just Ichigo." He grumbled under his breath, having reached a decision so fast the other didn't even notice a pause.

The boy arched an eyebrow at him. "Why do you have such a girly name?"

A vein visibly popped up on his forehead. "Oi, oi, Mr. Certified Genius, try again." He mentally winced at the puzzled expression on the other and it was Shiro who supplied him an answer. "Don't go getting on a high horse, kiddo. I mean it as an insult."

"How would 'genius' ever be used as an insult?"

"When you meet very smart people who make very stupid decisions." Ichigo supplied, picturing himself throttling Kisuke for the nth time. He clicked his tongue when the other didn't seem to be thinking very hard. He was not a strawberry goddamit! "My name means-"

"'One who protects.' Right?" The brunet exclaimed eagerly enough, jutting out a finger to the air. Ichigo nodded curtly, somewhat relieved that it was hard to correlate this child to the overlord yet very creeped out this was the baby that would make the universe itself collapse. "It's a nice name. Ah-! I'm Aizen Sousuke. Nice to meet you, Ichigo-san."

He couldn't quite hide the cringe this time.

He swore in his mind at the hurt expression of his future-nemesis.

"I'm sorry. I too think it's weird calling you by name." The boy said, looking at the floor — _fucking fidgeting._ "But you didn't give me a surname."

"Don't have any. Sorry kid. I just- It's been a while since I've met a stranger."

What kind of face would he make if he said he was a Shiba?

Ichigo's thought process reached a sudden halt.

Fucking hell, what was the point in hiding his surname if he looked just like the reincarnation of a certain Shiba Kaien!? Even if the other was probably still unborn they would reach a point in time when Aizen could _and would_ connect the points. Once more, before he could start panicking it was Shiro who whacked him into gear again.

 _'Kaien did not have a kidou sword lodged on his skull. Nor a regular sword impaled on the face. I woulda said somethin' if ya didn't look like a three-year-old played with a knife on your face.'_

Ichigo did not appreciate the mental image, but he calmed down nonetheless. He just hoped the ragged crisscrossed marks on the center of his face were enough to mask his parentage…Though coupled with the claw marks of an especially lucky hollow that forever tilted his mouth downwards and his several-times broken nose _and_ the ever present dark rings under his eyes…

Yeah, he supposed he didn't look like his perfect-faced cousin at all.

"I'll call you shinigami-san, then." Aizen-in-diapers spoke up in what must have been a very awkward silence. Perhaps a night hadn't been enough time to settle his mind. But to be honest, Ichigo doubted a century would be enough time anyway.

"Sorry, kid." Ichigo replied, with what he hoped was an apologetic smile, not knowing what else to do. By the subsequent reaction he supposed he hadn't done it any good, but shrugged it off. He wasn't here to coddle anyone.

But still, he eased his marred and ever scary features into something more neutral, preparing himself for having a civil conversation with the Aizen-lookalike. If he needed to determinate Aizen's crazy levels, he'd need to hear him out. For that, the kid needed to be used to him and for _that,_ well, introductions were in order.

"Let's start again. I'm Ichigo, a shinigami on temporal leave of duty. Nice meeting you, kid."

"Haha, you're so strange! Likewise, shinigami-san!" A smile spread on blasphemously innocent lips. And even as Ichigo managed to maintain his calm demeanor, inside both of Zangetsu raised their guards, ready for anything as Ichigo's hand leisurely came to rest upon his blade.

Aizen-in-diapers then proceeded to roast the last two fishes Ichigo had caught for him before offering one to him. He grinned at him across the fire, pushed up his frayed glasses and continued eating in blissful ignorance.

Dark and inscrutable, Ichigo's eyes flashed gold as he kept track of his nemesis' every move.

If there was the smallest incongruence, he swore.

Even the tiniest fact that didn't match or the smallest cruelty perceived…

He'd personally ram his sword through the infant's chest.

Either way, he wouldn't fail. He wouldn't fail his family again.

And nothing else mattered.

To be continued.

* * *

 **AN.** So what do you think? You'll get to know more backstory in other chapters, this is more of an introduction. Poor Ichigo, he's a lot paranoid xD. It'll take a while for him to get used to this new settings of his.

I'd love to know what you thought about the story and the cover xD, and what do you think the title means? **Edit:** In English it's the Cross of the Chrysalis, so I'm talking about the meaning _behind_ that. It does carry a symbology.


	2. Chapter 2

Croix de l'Chrysalis

by

Raining Sky Guy

 **An.** You guys are one of the nicest readers Ive ever had. Wow. I love you guys xD. /I shouldn't be posting this right now tho. /sobs.

* * *

Having been sent so far back also arose several problems. Ichigo concluded as he stared at the small speck in the distance he knew to be Seireitei. Such as how he would get back.

He had no idea how far back he was, and he was clueless as to exactly how old his comrades were— was Kisuke older than Aizen, for starters? Would he be able to find any of his future-friends in this time?

Ichigo scowled at nothing.

He would get back, even if just to kick Kisuke into the next century.

He assured himself even as he tried to think about how he'd find the current Kisuke and if he'd know enough to rebuild the time travel thingy for him to go back to his time.

Meanwhile, he was currently trying his best to ignore his most pressing problem—the curious gaze of Aizen on him.

"Ne, shinigami-san, aren't you bored?"

Once more, the future evil overlord flinched back at whatever expression Ichigo was wearing when he turned to look at him.

But really, he wanted nothing to do with him.

He didn't want to help the man that murdered so many of his friends.

He'd prefer…

What did he prefer, actually?

If he had preferred killing him, then he just should have done that to begin with. It would be stupid to do things half-assedly.

The ten-year-old-looking soul looked down sadly but did not try to leave. Why was that? Ichigo wouldn't have let him either way but wouldn't a kid want to get away from someone like Ichigo, normally?

"Ne, shinigami-san, what are you going to do?"

"I don't know." The war veteran succinctly answered, every fiber of his being battling with him to not answer at all— everything he said could be potentially harmful, could help device another trap for his friends, like-

"Are you feeling all right?" Profane, rich brown eyes peered at him with concern. But an instant later, those eyes had widened in uncharacteristic fear as they looked slightly to his right. "S-shinigami-san?"

Ichigo stilled his hand, Zangetsu already drawn in a split second. Ichigo blinked. He regained himself as he straightened up, sword swinging downwards at his side. "I'mma train." He finally said with all tranquility. A small, distorted part of himself felt good at being able to frighten Aizen like this. He hated feeling so cathartic, but he had long since stopped caring so much. Everything hurt less so it was alright.

Half-joking and distantly amused, he executed a lazy swing—fast for untrained eyes— , blade ringing to a stop millimeters away from his face. He had to suppress the urge to let the sword continue on its path. "Say, do I scare you?"

He had tried to joke, but unbeknownst to the world savior, the edge of lethality he rarely noticed slipped onto his voice, his eyes flashed golden as his breathing hitched ever so slightly, pupils dilating. His hatred wasn't all that visible—but he looked like a veritable heartless demon. Tears started to form, unwanted and annoying, on the corner of Aizen's eyes as he tried to stutter out an answer.

Once more, Ichigo stopped for whatever reason it was. He stopped, lowering his blade and turned away sharply. "Don't get in my way during training then." He said in stilled tones, shoulders taut before he strode away.

He was fully aware of the kneeling mess behind him.

* * *

Ichigo was still thinking as he swung Zangetsu about. What should he do?

The orange-haired shinigami spun in place as if ramming his sword through an enemy. Out of the corner of his eye he caught sight of a mop of brown. Baby Aizen was still there.

Ichigo couldn't quite make out why.

He found it curious more than anything though.

He had moved away from the nerve-wrack to practice by himself but half an hour later, the evil overlord's baby version was back albeit hidden.

Why?

At least he didn't speak. Ichigo allowed half of his mind to drift in thought, trying to sort out the jumble of messes he had created. The other half was very aware of Aizen-in-diaper's every move.

Not much had changed though. If he still wouldn't kill him, then he'd need to be kinder. He'd need to treat him like an actual kid. Like a little broth-

Involuntarily his weapon-arm jerked down, sinking Zangetsu deep in the ground as Ichigo lost grasp of just about everything.

It was absolutely impossible for him to put _fucking Aizen_ right there next to Yuzu and-

His reiatsu suffered a momentarily explosion—being reigned in almost immediately by both of his swords.

' _Ichigo…'_

Neither of them could find any words. The disgust reached his very soul. It was simply impossible. His anger skyrocketed as if replacing his reigned-in reiatsu. He should kill Aizen. He should kill Aizen. He should kill Aizen right there, right now. He should-

"Shinigami-san you're bleeding!"

Ichigo turned around, practically oozing _hollow_ , and something sent his mind askew as a little brat with brown hair, with thick, nearly-broken glasses, with dark rings that had formed after the scare, and with such earnest worry as he stumbled a few steps forward, still-chubby fingers pointing at his swordhand.

Taken by the earnestness, ochre eyes looked at his hand. There was blood. His hand had slipped. Stupid really. If he willed it, it would regenerate anyway. It wasn't deep after all. Not that the other could know. What a bother. Too much blood for something so inane.

In short, stumpy thoughts, Ichigo's mind managed to get a leash on his emotions.

Since when did he thought that he should kill?

Watery amethyst eyes stared at him from his mind's eye.

" _Why do you only think in killing?"_

Like always, those words effectively made his blood run cold. His head cleared as if a bucket of ice had been dumped onto him and it took all his strength not to double over.

" _What has happened to you?"_

Teeth clenched and eyes screwed shut. His scars pulsed in pain. The memory stopped.

He would not think of her.

* * *

Why was it, that it was the most selfish thoughts that led his actions?

Ichigo despaired as he roasted some more fish over the fire. Night had come and Aizen in diapers had gotten hungry again.

The whole day he had been subdued as if he thought he had done something wrong. But Ichigo knew he hadn't. Besides existing that was.

He had felt an apology in the tip of his tongue several times but he really couldn't bring himself to care.

The boy meekly accepted the proffered fish, still hunched and submissive since Ichigo's last outburst.

And yet the kid hadn't left.

Ichigo looked at his own meal in silence.

Why?

"Don't you have a home to go to?"

Fucking Aizen looked at him with a speck of fear, jumping at the sudden question. He fiddled with the food, getting grease all over his hands.

"Not really."

Ichigo nodded with his head and the conversation dwindled to another silence.

He should do things right though.

"So hey, I'll be staying here for a long while. I suppose you can come back here if you want to."

When he got a hesitant smile in return, Ichigo felt like crying.

* * *

The next morning Ichigo sent the boy away so he could train. It was sort of counterproductive since Ichigo had invited him but he decided not to dwell on it as he swung up and down.

And anyway, he saw the child watching him from a distance, just like last time.

Ichigo kept wondering if it all was a ploy but he figured that basic up and down swings wouldn't give up any kind of information.

His face ached.

As if that was a cue, Ichigo sheathed his sword, not having even broken into sweat. He looked back at Soul Society. He should be getting a hang of what time period it was as soon as possible. He remembered that Aizen had been a lieutenant already when the Vizards were attacked. And Shinji had already been a captain by then. Hiyori a lieutenant under Urahara. It had taken only a moment to remember that Aizen was younger than the scientist, but it still did nothing for the unknown age gap between them. And then it arose the problem that, if Kisuke was way younger than either of them had expected… would he know how to build the time machine again?

Ichigo had adamantly refused to carry any sort of blueprints in his (rightful) paranoia of them falling in the overlord's hands. He just had a single line of written symbols that were a bit of Kidou yet not quite, engraved in his mind. He'd have to make do with just that.

A branch broke under the pressure of a tiny foot and Ichigo spun around on instinct.

"What?" He demanded, as Aizen tried his best not to flinch away.

"Um, are you done?"

"Why?"

"Do you want to come with me to the river?"

Ambush. It's an ambush, rang in his mind despite him being mostly sure that was sheer nonsense.

"Later." He managed to grit out.

Even like that, baby Aizen smiled brightly.

* * *

Ichigo felt Zangetsu doing his best to soothe his nerves as the world saviour sat shadow of a tree, overlooking a river.

"You need to wait for the fish to get close to you and then you have to be quick." Ichigo droned in a toneless voice, eyes looking at one point just beside the kid.

He might be the least inspired teacher ever, but he was having a hard time reigning in the thought that what he was doing was going to keep Aizen alive.

His train of thought was broken however, when Aizen fucking tripped over nothing and landed face first on the water.

Ichigo outright gaped at the scene, his mind unable to correlate the events that had just happened.

Two barks of laughter escaped incredulous lips.

They tasted bitter, they rang hollow, and they hurt his chest, but he still found a rare sense of wonder at being able to laugh again.

In the midst of a catharsis, Ichigo skidded down to the water edge and waited for the boy to right himself before throwing a live fish at him. The brunet stumbled with the catch before the animal slipped his fingers and plunged back into the stream.

"Keep it up. I'll be back in a while." Ichigo mumbled, turning around. "Remember how you caught the fish I threw at you. When I'm back you better have caught at least one."

With that he left, because dammit he needed to break something or he'd end up crying.

* * *

Ichigo was too busy gutting the fish he held in his hands to notice what must be the weirdest face Aizen could have made. The kid looked just a normal kid, absolutely repulsed by Ichigo's actions…. Or so Ichigo was telling himself.

With morbid curiosity, Ichigo stopped cleaning the fish and in one motion he had beheaded the fish and tossed the remains to the child. Aizen-in-diapers then recoiled from it, before he obviously tried to do his best not to appear as repulsed. Ichigo's hands reassumed their motions, trying not to let another bark of laughter out.

This was ridiculous.

The man who had killed indiscriminately, who had been swallowed in Hell and not even flinched after it, who had beheaded Toushiro in a fashion not much unlike-

Ichigo wanted to be sick.

He was such an idiot, really. Reminiscing about the dead was never healthy to begin with. Thinking about the dead while their murderer-to-be was in front of him was just… He should stop. He should only remember the fact that what he was doing would erase it. Would erase an evil Aizen in the future. Would prevent the deaths, would… would change so many things.

Ichigo handed the fish to the reluctant kid along with Baby Aizen's knife. "Don't be such a baby. It's almost done, take it and finish your own dinner."

The World Savior almost wished Aizen-in-diapers had never grown out of his horror of minced meat. Of dead eyes. Of fresh blood.

So many things would have been different…

Now Ichigo would make sure they changed, by whichever means necessary.

* * *

At last, overburdened again, Ichigo left Aizen-in-diapers as he went to do a quick perimeter check. He had noticed soon enough that they weren't exactly _in_ Rukongai but apparently in some forest-like section just outside Rukongai's borders. It had struck him as odd, but it wasn't like he could get any more suspicious at this point.

He also had not sensed another presence nearby. The child lived alone in the forest. Ichigo had to wonder why.

He had tried to sweep the area for cameras, bugs, micros, even signs of a scuffle or an experiment but Ichigo had been unable to find anything at all.

Ichigo raised an irritated hand to rub at his face. This was too unnerving. There was surely something he was missing. There had to be.

There was just no way Aizen was just a kid.

This time, the carrot head started searching with his eyes closed, instead falling into a rest stance and concentrated on his other senses. As usual, baby Aizen's figure shot up almost immediately, the seal making it unable to miss him. Ichigo did his best to ignore the blaring signal and instead focused on his surroundings.

He immediately launched himself into the air without a second thought. He careened to a stop kilometers away from where he had started, as he tried to make sense of what that had been about.

Aizen's presence was _everywhere._

Ichigo had a fair amount of memories and scars and deaths after feeling something like this, so the reaction had been instinctual.

But what did it mean?

 _´He lives here. That's the most sensible answer. He really doesn't stray away from that area much. And for the reiatsu to be this strong all around, he must have picked out this place a long time ago.'_

"But for what purpose?" Ichigo asked under his breath as his Quincy blade rationalized about the event.

' _I would not know. I apologize.'_

"S fine. Whatever it is… there's just no way we would die by any sort of trap by this fucking toddler."

It had been a long time since Ichigo himself noticed how distorted his words were. How his actions bespoke of a readiness for fight or flight, how his words always danced over the topic of a trap. How his mind was forever caught in an endless battlefield.

Zangetsu somehow hoped he never noticed. If the war would not end, at least don't let Ichigo know of it.

But he was right. His body was comparable to a nuclear reactor, teeming with power. Barely enough to be a match for the overlord.

Barely.

He should focus.

He should be getting back already. Keep a closer eye on Aizen— Aizen in diapers. The child was way too curious, he would surely notice he wasn't there soon enough. The less he suspected, the better.

* * *

Ichigo was once again pondering about the day events looking over the sleeping baby overlord, and wondering if helping Aizen stay alive would be the proper thing to do. He felt a visceral repugnance at the thought of caring for the madman. Would he need to help the other learn how to earn food for himself? To protect him from adversity?

If Aizen was not taught anything…was there any chance he'd die on his own?

' _Coward.'_

Ichigo startled at hearing the real Zangetsu speaking. That fear of disappointing rose in his mind like bile. He fumbled uselessly for words as he registered the pain his sword was feeling.

' _Ya' decided not ta kill him,_ Ichigo _. Ya' decided to change the course of destiny. Ya' decided ta' stay yer hand and take the responsibility._

' _Don't ya fucking give up half-way._

Don't betray them.

Don't fail them.

Not again.

Ichigo hunched over himself, overtaken by a higher emotion.

Never again.

* * *

An. Short as fuck I know. But bear with me, I'm having some problems with writing this. And I have a lot to deliver this week. And exams. Fucking hell.

Anyway, Ichigo's still a mess, poor soul of his.

Also, I'm posting the explanation of the title in the next chapter, for one to give you more time to guess and second I don't have time to explain haha.

Let's hope neither of us die with the exams, good luck to you too, nevermind if you're not yet in exams or already did them.

So, what do you think?


	3. Chapter 3

It's been a while, huh.

Croix de l'Chrysalis

by

Raining Sky Guy

* * *

He had caught a second fish. Trepidation crawled up Ichigo's spine as the boy sauntered over to the crouched hybrid, then proudly showcased his prey. Ichigo was trying not to let his emotions show on his face, muscles tensing in fear. That had been too quick.

But it was fully plausible that Aizen was a quick learner. Catching his second fish four days after Ichigo had taught him… it wasn't wholly impossible. Aizen-in-diapers had had to be a little smart as to not die of hunger on his own. It just augmented the creepy factor by a dozen. The World Savior once more found it hard to look back to an innocent face without cringing.

Was this okay?

A quick learner suited Ichigo better in the long run. But what if he learned too much too quick. What if this whole show was a complicated ploy to capture Ichigo? And…

The fear that hadn't quite materialized into a conscious thought surfaced at last.

What if he had never gone back? What if he had simply been trapped into a fucking mental illusion by Aizen?

Was the madman laughing as Ichigo did stupid monkey tricks?

Would he even notice should Aizen ram a sword through his chest— just as he imagined himself doing it to the baby version right in front of him?

He had no way of knowing.

A small shift caught his attention and he noticed a child looking at him with some confusion, a frown upon bright brown eyes.

"Give me a sec, I forgot something…" he mumbled before he was no longer there.

* * *

Ichigo next came to as he groped everything like a blind man. The bark of the trees, the air between them, the dark and rich forest soil, dotted with death leaves. It all felt real…

As real as any illusion of Aizen's.

' _This is nonsense, Ichigo. You have long since become immune to Aizen's mind play. There's no way-'_

"The Soul King was also supposed to be immune to that bastard!" Ichigo cut his spirit with a hushed shout, voice tight with distressed.

There was silence.

Vision decreasing to a tunnel view, the twenty year old started having a panic attack. How to know? How to _know?_

The sights had always looked real, the smell too, what he heard, all his senses had been befuddled or obfuscated before he overcame that with raw power. But fuck, what if Aizen had managed to out power him again?

There was just no way!

Ichigo thought with increasing frustration as he punched the closest thing he had— a tree. The thing shook as a crater formed at the base, where Ichigo had hit it, but remained standing. A small smarting of pain registered on his mind.

Even pain could be fake.

" _He can even make you feel pain."_ As if this wasn't a bad enough time to be reminiscing about dead people. For some reason, Toushiro had always been the most sensitive to Kyoka Suigetsu, either in its sword form or the one fused with its wielder. The one who had suffered through it the most. Ironically enough this ended up making Hitsugaya learn how to recognize it. " _But pain in an illusion is different. It hurts, but in your head. It's easier with a severed leg. You see the blood, you feel the pain and you're ready to pass out, but you close your eyes one second and it's no longer your leg what's in pain."_

Ichigo eagerly slammed his fist back into the tree and this time it toppled. He frowned because the pain had been instantaneous. He couldn't gauge anything.

Passively, he drew his sword again.

And before Zangetsu could try and curse him, the blade descended on his forearm. Ichigo tried for a small nick, enough to draw blood.

The cut hurt.

It was real.

The man sighed in relief, mind not registering his hand had slipped and the cut went a bit deeper than would be healthy.

Ichigo willed it to regenerate without a second glance at the dripping bloody mess he had caused on himself. He easily glossed over his swords' pain, as it was just another murmur in the frantic sea that always tried to drown him in anguish.

The cut disappeared from his arm, but it remained like a glowing beacon on Zangetsu's arm.

The Quincy spirit cradled his injured arm to his chest, as he kept quiet. Zangetsu did the same. Ichigo did not need to know.

Hopefully it would not happen again.

(And yet, they all had grown to avoid hoping, as it always led to disappointment.)

* * *

Ichigo returned to the kid, who looked up from his meal, looking as messy and sloppy as he always did when he ate. The veteran pulled a face before he sat across the child in silence. He stared at the fire as he kept Aizen in his rearview.

"Shinigami-san?"

"What?"

"Where were you? You suddenly disappeared again…"

Ichigo almost growled in anger. It was an unconscious reflex that fortunately did not surface, but still the scowl on his scar-laden face deepened. "Why'd you ask?"

"…I was worried-"

"Well, I don't think you need to know." He managed to growl out, hackles rising in a tiresome loop. But when the kid hunched over himself once more, the earlier words of his sword's spirit rang again in his mind. Those painful words were soon to become his mantra.

"Sorry, just went to get some fresh air."

For every time he had to carve a bloody smile on his lips and make Aizen feel comfortable, he would remember.

Everything he was doing, was to make a better future.

* * *

The next morning Ichigo was sure he was just being a little paranoid bitch as he stared dumbstruck at the sight of baby-fucking-Aizen hanging by his ankle, flailing chubby arms in panic as he had gotten himself caught in his _own fucking trap._ A small part of him had been sad the kid was smart enough to use his arms to prevent the initial recoil that would have broken his neck as the trap was designed. But mostly he couldn't really understand…

"You set it up five seconds ago." He murmured, as another painful bubble of laughter threatened to escape his chest. The kid had stopped moving like a fish and hid his face with his arms in sheer embarrassment. "How'd you even get in this situation?"

"…" Aizen-in-Diapers mumbled incoherently, apparently knowing how ridiculous this scenario was.

"At least now we know the rope is strong." Ichigo supplied wholly unhelpful. This apparently did not do well to the kid, who started flailing about again and demanding to be set down. Ichigo stared unimpressed before he laid a hand on his sheath. "Okay, stand still." He whispered as he cut the air in front of him.

In front of him, a weak and captured Aizen was sliced in half, with no Hogyoku to bring him back to life.

In reality, Ichigo sheathed his sword again, eyes closed as the kid fell down with a clumsy thump, the cut rope tangling over him. He once more carved the bloody smile into his face. "There."

(To be honest, Ichigo was impressed by his self-control.)

Unaware that once more, he had avoided death at Ichigo's hands, the little bother harrumphed to himself, untangling himself and scrambling away from the former trap. He looked at the ground, fidgeting. "Thank you…"

"Yeah." Ichigo muttered, averting his eyes from perturbingly familiar eyes. His eyes were drawn once again to his face when the child gasped in dismay and he had time to see the worn-down glasses finally giving way to bad treatment and falling to the floor in two pieces. He watched impassively as Aizen-in-Diapers kneeled down and pouted at the broken object.

Out of nowhere, flashes of memory came back unsolicited as always and made Ichigo hesitate. Did Aizen had ever had bad eyesight? Ichigo narrowed his eyes, but before he could even say anything the boy lifted his face, and teary eyed he looked straight at him for help.

"Shinigami-san… it broke… can you fix it?"

But Ichigo was transfixed to his place, suddenly assaulted by fierce brown eyes, unimpeded by mundane glass and so _so_ familiar-

"Shinigami-san… _oops, he broke. I don't suppose you can fix him, now can you-?"_

Pain lanced his head as the memory mingled with his sight and next thing he knows he's no longer with the kid, instead he's huddled against the bark of a tree, heart pounding in his chest like a hammer and his head hurting like it was splitting in two and-

' _Calm down… Ichigo…. Ichigo!'_

Ridiculous, uncalled for, embarrassing and maybe if Aizen was just laughing at his back-

A long gash was carved on his forearm. It blazed in pain, and Ichigo's shoulders bowed with pain and relief.

Real.

He was in the past.

This was real-

' _Ichigo.'_

He knew he was being ridiculous, and he knew what Zangetsu wanted to say to him. He didn't answer as humiliation seeped into his mind. But belatedly he noticed he kept on babbling, "I don't know if this is real. I mean, I feel the pain in my arm, but how can I know that is enough? How can I know Aizen didn't simply evolve while I slept and managed to trap me in the perfect illusion, because those eyes are too familiar and there's just no way this kid is not Aizen but if he's Aizen then-"

He cut himself short, drowning with his words.

' _Are ya' done?'_ Zangetsu asked, in what would have been his usual snarky tone if he didn't sound so winded and his voice wasn't so much as a whisper. ' _Look. Mainly, this is your paranoia talking. We have no way of knowing if this is truly an illusion… unless we listen to what others have told us. Unless we remember. Because, damn it Ichigo, you_ know _Aizen cannot tamper with your memories. You have not recognized anything – and not even Aizen, except at this moment, and that's because he is still Aizen, that ain't changing. You feel the pain on your arm, right? Well, your own cells remember what pain feels like. The scars are the reminder of your wars. So shut yer trap and list'n to me. Continue like you've done. Yer doing just fine. Jus' calm down.'_

"…yes."

' _Good, now yer listening. Toush may have been wrong in many things, but at least we can trust his last advice, amirite?'_

"That's captain Hitsugaya for you." Ichigo mumbled, remembering how he had annoyed the little captains to the end of the world. "I'll keep it in mind… Zangetsu?"

' _Yes, yes, you're welcome. Now focus. You ditched the kid again. Why?'_

Ichigo bit down on his lip as he thought. What would he tell the kid? Why had he disappeared so suddenly? Had he felt a Hollow? But how sensitive was the kid to reiatsu? If the kid didn't sense anything and he knew he could, would he get suspicious? Better to rule out the possibility. The glasses.

Diapers had asked him if he could fix them.

He could work with that.

' _And that will give you a window of opportunity to see for yourself how far back you went.'_

Because what better place to find artifacts than Soul Society?

* * *

Ichigo didn't know what he had been expecting, but he certainly wasn't expecting this. Everything in Rukongai looked exactly the same.

Absolutely everything.

The lone Shinigami stood at the edge of the outer districts, somehow overwhelmed at how many people there were. He mentally recited his made-up backstory, muted his reiatsu as far as he figured a low profile unseated Shinigami would be, reminded himself he looked nothing like Kaien and inhaled once more the pure air before submerging into the chaos.

He hadn't spent long walking when his ears immediately caught soft pitter patter, zeroing in on it, ignoring the rest of the racket, and he had already used shunpo to disappear way before the small soul could even get close to trying to steal from him.

This was like the time he had gone to the Fourth's barracks, or city as Kyouraku jokingly said, as the injured count was similar in number. Ichigo had not felt comfortable then, and he hadn't been alone then. This was nerve-wracking to no end.

So many faces, so many hands to keep watch over, so many bodies pushing against one another. He had to constantly fight the impulse to draw his blade – because the last four hundred times he had been surrounded by so many had been on the battlefield. But no, he tried to look at the child's faces and remind himself of where he was.

"Where can I find glasses though?" Ichigo muttered to himself, as he tried to center himself. If his memory served him right this was one of the outer districts, the rowdy low-class kind. He would not find food here, and water would be hard to come by. Anything else was superfluous and not required. He'd need to move further in-

 _Into the trap awaiting for h-_

' _Not a trap. This is not a trap.'_ Ichigo told himself trying to believe it. He looked around himself, noticing just for the first time how his presence brought up so many faces of fear and caution. He still forgot how he scared the civilians. Ichigo launched to the air once more and pressed forward towards the inner districts…

Was he actually going in the right direction though? Rukongai was huge so he could very well be crossing it sideways, avoiding the center all together. He looked around and saw very much the same conditions as kilometers ago.

"Hey," he called out to the first vendor he saw, waiting for the poor soul to recover from the scare. "What district is this?"

"A-ah, eh, well, the-the seventieth district, Shinigami, sir."

Ichigo's brow deepened in confusion.

And then it creased further at realizing.

"Thanks," he muttered, before he jumped into the air again. His both spirits kept quiet. With old, tired eyes he drank in the view. He carefully oversaw every single detail, all the dirt, the scuffles, the misery and the _life._

It was sad.

So many things had happened, the eradication of half of Rukongai wasn't on Ichigo's fore thoughts.

* * *

He had continued to forge on, trying not to think too much on how fragile everything was. He continued walking on, asking for indications, and eventually he found a proper store in the midst of all that blur.

"…well sir, we don't have much on glasses. I mean, uh, we can't know if your… friend's nephew? Uh, the best thing would be for him to be here so he could try on some glasses and see which fit him-"

"Hmm, don't think so." Ichigo muttered darkly, trying to pay attention over the constant buzzing in his ears – even more annoying, something small had started to resonate like a second heart in his mind and Ichigo had identified it as Diaper's detection signal, distracting and annoying, like always. "It would be a very long trip. Get me … two… or three of the most common prescriptions-"

"Prescriptions-?"

"Uh, the most common versions-"

"Yes sir."

* * *

Ichigo hated sake. He hated the bitter taste of it. This always drew a face of sadness on Kyouraku and Kisuke and his father and Ichigo could not stop the thoughts from surfacing, if briefly, when he tried not to choke on his cup. It had always annoyed him, those looks.

" _Too young to drink, but not to fight a war, huh?"_

The lonesome Shinigami scowled even harder as he downed the drink in one motion. One thing had nothing to do with the other. He just wasn't into alcohol, so sue him. He was not a child for that.

They shouldn't feel guilty he was there.

' _Focus, Ichigo.'_ His Quincy mumbled, a tiny spike of reiatsu nudging him into business. He had entered a no-name pub in hope of overhearing something useful and had not been surprised at the amount of rumors and chitter chatter going on about.

He had been struck silly by the names thrown around like if they were nothing.

Hirako-taicho.

Shiba Isshin, the tenth captain.

Ukitake-taicho and Kyouraku-taicho, their presence as always, timeless and steady.

And the current Twelve Division captain had Ichigo's soul plummeting to the ground.

Hikifune Kirio

 _Exactly how far back had he been sent?_

* * *

After breaking his cup of sake by accident, the tense orangehead had sat there with shoulders hunched as he tried to catch some more information above the buzzing in his ears and trying not to draw much attention to himself.

After a while of increasing tension, he had concluded that he was done with baseless, ridiculous rumors (classical rumors of the wealthy) and had instead decided to ditch the place so he could get thinking.

Ichigo and his spirits had all agreed that he needed more information. Getting into Seireitei without any plan would be a total pain in the ass, so he'd be limited to Rukongai, and since he looked like an officer, asking "obvious" questions would certainly draw attention…

Huh.

Ichigo supposed he could do with a change of clothing.

* * *

Feeling utterly ridiculous in his plain sand-colored clothes with a stupid red dragon crossing his chest, with Zangetsu strung to his leg, the bump hidden with some extra fabric that he supposed was a cape, Ichigo walked inside yet another pub.

' _Nothing we can do on tha' big fat scar of yours without some heavy makeup and_ then _we run the risk of you looking like yer cousin again, so ya should lighten up that pretty face of yers 'cause you needa minimize the intimidation factor. Crack a joke, smile or something.'_

'I wouldn't exactly trust someone with such an obvious battle wound and an easy smile.' Ichigo shot back trying to remind himself that he shouldn't reply out loud.

' _Of course ya wouldn't! It's_ you _! You're a walking paranoia!'_ Zangetsu declared exasperated and with irritating vehemence as Ichigo tried to drink his tea with some peace. His sword hadn't been particularly happy that he was Kurosaki Ichigo today either. ' _Haha, very funny. But, stupid King, we tryin' to be undercover, remember? Try ta look less suspicious!'_

'Well what would you like me to do? Jump on the counter and juggle some bottles? My face ain't changing and I am not smiling; fuck, Shiro!' Ichigo was _this_ close to banging his fist on said counter as his sword continued on not being helpful.

' _The fuck ya callin' me Shiro for, huh? Want me to start calling yer ass Orangey, huh?'_

'It's your fucking nickname. It has been since you fucking existed! Be grateful I even call you Zangetsu most of the times! Don't you fucking call me Orange, you stupid lump of metal!'

' _Oi-'_

' _Enough.'_ Both of the quarreling males immediately shut up as Ichigo's Quincy spirit finally spoke up, irritation exuding from his presence. ' _You will stop being so ridiculous. It is not the place nor the time for petty fights. And_ please _don't make such stupid ones in my presence.'_

'….Yeah, sorry Zangetsu.' Ichigo managed to input before he was dragged out of his internal….drama, by some sniggering. Out of the corner of his eyes, he could see two blokes elbowing each other and pointing at him not so subtly. It did not take much for the words they drunkenly whispered to reach Ichigo.

"Such a baby." "Drinking tea, ha!" And other similar things.

Now normally, Ichigo would be absolutely repulsed by their drunken state (he hated the taste of liquor but he hated specially the state it put his friends in; Kyouraku and he had had several discussions on that regard) and would have ignored words of such feeble souls. But Shiro-Zangetsu had managed to rile him up enough that he immediately called for the bartender to pour him some sake. He downed six consecutive cups without breathing (or retching) before he shot the previously laughing souls a look. Startled the men looked at each other for a moment before bursting in laughter. They stood up and waddled over to sit by his side.

"Sorry for upsetting ye friend, we see we were wrong to judge. Ye can handle yer alcohol just fine, huh?" One said as he helped himself to Ichigo's sake, drunk enough or stupid enough not to be wary of the scarred youth.

Meanwhile, Ichigo assessed his new companions with critical eyes. The deformed corner of his lips raised slightly. This was perfect.

As the day gave way to the night, Ichigo stayed drinking with them, making sure his body burned the alcohol away as he offered cups and questions to the drunk Shin'ou academy students.

* * *

 **AN**. Finally an update haha. Took frankly forever for me to think of an appropriate beginning and plot for this chapter. So we have Shiro-Zangetsu and Quincy (or Kuro haha, how'd you like him having that as nickname?) Zangetsu. Hope you don't mind the names much huh. I fell behind the manga (again) but as far as I know, both of them are his swords, so they technically would have the same name. So this is my compromise.

Explanation on the meaning behind the title will be posted on my tumblr some time from now. Go check it out!

What did you think of this chapter? Liked it? Hated it? A lot happened? Not much? What else would you like to happen here?


	4. Chapter 4

Do I still have readers? Hell, I'm so sorry for the delay, this chapter basically had to be ripped from my imagination's entrails. It took a lot. It's a little short, yeah. But Ichigo finally gets some much needed de-stress… in a way.

Anyway, enjoy!

Croix de l'Chrysalis

by

Raining Sky Guy

* * *

Ichigo was staring blankly at the sky, dangling belly-up, in his usual black robes, on a branch of a tree, far away from anything. He had already watched the sun come up and down more times than he cared to count but still he couldn't seem to be able to make any decisions.

His face ached.

While useful for his planned excursion into Seireitei, the information supplied by the students hadn't been much more clarifying.

He knew that Matsumoto had just been appointed third-seat by Shiba-taicho. And wasn't that odd all by itself? Shiba-taicho… _Isshin_ -taicho…

But that meant that Toushiro had probably not even been born yet in the Human World. Hikufune-taicho was just mentioned in passing about what a nice figure she had but they hadn't seen her lieutenant.

And horror of horrors,

Urahara Kisuke was not a name they recognized. That wasn't to say that he did not exist yet or that he had not entered the academy yet —maybe he had already finished but he was doing something shady before entering the Gotei 13 ranks, which would be just like him. But even as the thought occurred, Ichigo was already dashing his own hopes. He doubted Urahara was much older than Aizen.

What was he going to do?

What irritated him the most was the fact that he had had some stupid hope that hat-and-clogs would have been able to help him even with these odd circumstances they would meet in. He had been hoping for someone to-

Ichigo shook his head, clearing his thoughts. Whatever, this barely changed things. This only meant that even if Ichigo beheaded the kid, he wouldn't be able to return to his time for a long while.

But that wasn't the current plan. No. He had decided to change the future. And for that he'd take care of Baby-Aizen and make sure he became a decent being or kill him if it seemed like he wasn't.

But how long? How long before he could say his job was done? How long would he have to stay with Diapers to make sure the future was safe?

' _Well, at the very least you have to wait for Shady-Eyes to appear, a little intelligent so maybe we'd have to wait until he's cap or something… Worry about this sometime later, now you know roughly what period in time we're at, so you gotta go back to the kid.'_

"What am I going to do, guys? I mean-!"

' _Ya wanna go back now?'_

" _No-_ I mean not immediately, not before completing my mission…"

' _Then stop fretting over it until you have to deal wi' the problem. Ichigo! This is how we've always dealt with things! Don't ponder on the inevitable or the unchangeable and focus on today!'_

' _Shiro is right, Ichigo.'_ His other self agreed, amiably.

' _Oi, who ya calling Shiro, name's Zangetsu ye fucking Quincy.'_ The white Zangetsu quipped but was ignored by the other two.

' _We aren't a soul that worries of the future ahead. We take things in stride, as they come, and always, without fail overcome every obstacle. And that's exactly what we're going to do. So, it would be to our best interest if you returned to, ah,_ Diapers.'

Ichigo stopped moving and thinking for barely a beat. Then he jumped down and dashed towards the clearing in which he had left Ai- Diapers.

He thought he could see her smiling at him, but that would make no sense.

* * *

"Shinigami-san!" A cry of excitement greeted him, his senses and attention fully focused on the child that dashed to meet him. Why was he running? Why did he seem to enthusiastic?

"Here." He said, tossing him the first pair of glasses to the kid, who barely had time to stop in his tracks for the object not to fly over his head.

"Huh? …Glasses? You went back for this?" The kid asked, his eyeglasses-less face showcasing his surprise. It lasted for a bit before a grin split his face in two. "Thank you very much, Shinigami-san!"

He proceeded to put them on and immediately squinted. A spark of worry lit up inside Ichigo.

"Not those ones then, try these ones."

Aizen squinted harder.

Ichigo smiled as the fretting child grabbed yet another pair. He was biting down on his lips and he hunched in on himself more and more as none of the pairs seemed to work. He started avoiding Ichigo's stare.

At the end, Ichigo produced a last pair and handed them in silence. A no longer smiling Aizen took hold of them and hesitated before putting them on. To his obvious surprise he could see with them, he looked at his surroundings, mouth opening and Aizen turned to tell Shinigami that he could see clearly with those-

Pain met his body.

Aizen could not understand what was going on, why was he laying on his back and why was Shinigami pointing his sword at him and, "-nigami-san… it hurts…why-?"

Blazing amber eyes stared back at him over a sea of scars. There was a weird pressure over them, and Aizen had trouble breathing and he could swear Ichigo's voice was double-toned but he had no idea why.

"You're going to have one shot to answer this, Aizen. Why do you wear glasses?"

The kid squirmed in place and avoided his gaze yet again yet whimpered when the pain on his neck augmented with a small pop that meant that skin had broken. Tears started accumulating in his eyes, and the kid started trembling. He did not say anything.

"I am waiting, Aizen. Your move. What are you going to do?"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I made you go so far to get them, but I don't have bad eyesight!" Aizen finally whimpered out, eyes closed shut as the gibberish continued to pour out. "I just thought that with glasses I would look less intimidating! Be-cause everytime the other kids run away because they say I'm scary!"

"Too bad that's actually a good excuse."

"Eh-?"

For a moment, the kid saw death in the face.

But then all he could see was the blue of the sky.

The child continued to cry.

* * *

That was probably the original reason he had done so. Aizen had nailed the goody-two-shoes captain look. And he had had it all figure it out since a toddler. Figures.

Out of a sudden he saw the hunched backs of Stark and Lilinette with his mind's eye, alone in a world that hated them, struggling to fit in, and going as far as living boring, senseless lives just to suppress the raw power that could annihilate everyone around them. Except Ichigo of course.

Angry at this reminder, Ichigo slammed Zangetsu in the ground.

 _Lonely._

Ichigo screamed, alone in the forest.

It resonated in his mind, as well as a distant memory, an echo, a plea for help.

 _Lonely._

He had _no_ right!

 _Lonely._

 _Lonely._

* * *

"I hate liars." Were the words that passed Ichigo's lips, reigning in his anger just right to further scare the kid, but not more. His ever simmering emotions had been finally tucked away and Ichigo had returned to a silent and sad kid.

That said, the tired Shinigami turned around, bent on disappearing for the evening. He was stopped by the softest of ruffles.

"I'm sorry…Please don't leave… I won't do that again."

Was the kid actually asking this of him? He almost got murdered by ichigo and…

"You're nuts."

That made two of them.

* * *

It was a bizarre evening for Ichigo. While it wasn't unusual for him to be all friendly with guys he had eviscerated (or viceversa), it was usually a process that took a couple months at the least. And it was generally because they had to band together to defeat a bigger evil.

The World Savior stared at the rambling kid over the fire he had built.

Why was the kid so eager to keep Ichigo company?

Was he so desperate for…?

"Don't you have any friends"? Blunt as always, Icihgo interrupted as he watched the kid cringe, fingers messing around with his torn clothes.

"No… not really. That's why I'm so glad to have you here, Shinigami-san."

"I'm not your friend." Was the knee jerk reaction, making the kid wave his hands around frantically.

"A-ah, I meant…Just keeping me company." Diapers mumbled shyly and grossly. A smile pulled at his lips when Ichigo didn't snap anything back. But as usual, the reaper was having darker thoughts.

' _More like keeping an eye on you and –if—it were necessary, keeping you from seeing another sunrise.'_

His blade glistened as the bloodlust appeared, but Ichigo was undeterred. His mind couldn't help but wander over to a certain shopkeeper. What would he say to him? Any sort of pointers or advice or anything to understand and take control of the situation, he'd like to think. It was not like he was stupid himself, but he had left subtlety behind for war and he'd never been big on mental manipulation.

His eyes darkened and his chest pulsed with pain as he recalled his last moments. His last words.

"Hey, Shinigami-san, are you hungry? I caught a big fish, it's over by the river, come on!"

Ah well, this was his mission now.

He might as well obey his elders for once.

* * *

The days continued to pass. The pulse of Aizen in Ichigo's mind finally became a background noise as he grew used to it, as well as the presence of the kid. Diapers had decided to forgo his glasses for the moment, which for some reason irritated Ichigo to no end. But since it had been his fault, he did not bring it up.

The child was now in charge of getting enough food for both of them, while Ichigo sat on his butt and watched over him. Even though he was starting to get tired of eating fish every day, he didn't pay it much mind. For one, he had long since stopped being picky about food, neither the state it was in, the repetitiveness or the meager quantity available; for another, he didn't think he was mentally prepared to see Aizen gutting a rabbit or something similar.

This lack of action, made Ichigo restless. Tense and unhappy, he started scowling for no good reason until his sword berated him, called him a 'fucking wuss', and repeated that he should 'bloody smile'. But Aizen seemed undeterred. Either he didn't notice or he didn't care, as he continued coming back to Ichigo with a smile on his face. Like a child. Who didn't know better, who couldn't know better. Who took whatever life threw at him with open arms, whatever it was. Something Ichigo had stopped doing even before being submerged in Shinigami problems, even before coming of age. That fateful day when Grand Fisher had appeared in the rain.

The rain had not stopped until someone came into his life. Someone who refused to leave, refused to leave him alone, refused to let him blame himself and made the rain finally stop. She- So Diapers was probably crazy but he could work with crazy. God knew all his friends were just different levels of insane.

But still… His joints creaked in protest, his reiatsu trying to whip out around him. He needed to do something, this inactivity was too much. He stood up, turned to the kid and stated. "I'm leaving." Before the child had time to do more than widen his eyes in something like fear, choking on his food he added, "I'll be back, I need to exercise."

"Sh-ack-wha-?" Diapers continued coughing trying to get his words out, but calmed down somewhat by Ichigo's later words. He lifted teary eyes. "You'll be back?"

"Yeah." Ichigo said succinctly, but then he felt a little awkward. "Don't worry. I'm… Anyway, don't die on me while I'm gone." Somehow he managed to switch the 'please' with 'don't' before the words came out. That was a good thing. Probably.

* * *

He went to Hueco Mundo. Even though Hollows still entered Soul Society, he needed to feel the raw ambient, know he could let loose without repercussion. He just avoided strong reiatsus. He didn't want to accidentally kill some of his future-friends. Ichigo paused, his sword slicing limply the undifferentiated menos in front of him.

Come to think of it, if he ever found them, he would see them in their pre-baby form. The ridiculous idea that he could take pictures of them to blackmail Grimmjow in the future surfaced and almost made him smile. Instead, he cleared his mind and lungs with the vibrant air of Hueco Mundo as he spread terror and destruction to the creatures borne out of despair and hopelessness itself.

Ichigo wasn't sure. But he vaguely remembered crying. He knew why. And like this he had no way of proving her wrong. But there was no way around this. There wasn't. Really.

He knew she was right. He had come out to release his pent up frustration and ended up creating a veritable mountain of corpses.

Alone in the endless lightless desert, the World Savior, drenched in blood that wasn't his own, buried his face in his hands, allowing this gesture only because he was surrounded by dissolving carcasses.

* * *

Ichigo wanted to go find Kisuke. Even as young as he probably was now, he was pretty sure he deserved a good ass-kicking. The young man grumbled under his breath as he undressed in front of the minuscule trickle of water coming out of a protuberance in the rocks. He had already prepared a makeshift tub, filled with water to dump his soiled clothes in and he stepped into the tiny stream to wash himself off. It barely got to his ankles, but a second tub had been set aside for him to pour it over himself. Tired, and eerily reminded of his baths in this same place but under different circumstances and a different time period, the tired teen washed off the remaining grim clinging to his skin. At the end, he paused, cupped hands holding water to his face. It was vague, but Ichigo could still see himself reflected.

It was always weird seeing his scarred face. Especially when in conjunction with his unmarred neck. Medical officers had always been running low —Orihime was only called upon an emergency as to not deplete her reiatsu (it had been nigh difficult to make her agree though), so Ichigo had patched himself up to the best of his abilities most of the times. He was carried over to Unohana herself the two times his face greeted a blade (the second time with the blade still lodged inside him) while Orihime had been reattaching Grimmjow's leg or otherwise engaged. He had been saved, but kidou did not set time back. So he had been carrying those awkward scars on his face ever since.

The Santen Kesshun user had been horrified and had immediately tried to heal those wounds but he had ushered her away. He wouldn't die of a scar and she'd better save up her energy to save someone else. And anyway, the shinigami would be highly offended if the human-hybrid got better treatment than they did.

What explained his neck was that reattaching his head back to his shoulders did, in fact, warrant Orihime's attention.

He traced the fissures on his face, hand traveling down his smooth neck and landing on the uneven terrain of his battle-weary body. It had been a while since he last looked into a mirror but it wasn't like he was missing on much.

' _Oi, little princess.'_ His ever present sword decided to interrupt his musings with his typical snark – which Ichigo rarely appreciated. ' _Either finish washing your clothes or dry them already if ye don't wanna stink like a … like a-'_

' _Drowned skunk.'_ His Quincy decided to follow along, with his impassive, tranquil voice. Ichigo just wanted to know why Zangetsu seemed hell-bent on acting up against him for the most ridiculous things. His two personas even got along!

' _Ooh, Kuro what a dirty mind-'_

'I'd like to know who this 'Kuro' you're referring to.'The Quincy blade asked suddenly frigid. Ichigo could feel an incoming headache at that.

' _If ye lot can call me Shiro, I'm sure as hell calling you Kuro, old man!'_

"For the love of… I already said I was _sorry_ , but the nickname stuck! And anyways both of you are named Zangetsu and _your_ blade has a _white_ edge last time I checked!" Ichigo exclaimed loudly, fingers pointing accusingly at nothing as he focused more on his inner discussion. At this, his lousy blade decided it was a good moment to materialize which had Ichigo hurrying to cover his decency. It did not help when the Quincy blade decided to materialize as well beside Shiro.

" _What the fuck you think yer doing!?"_ Ichigo demanded, more surprised than anything else. Still, he kicked Shiro when he pointedly looked between his legs and muttered something like, ' _not like you have much ta show ta be honest.'_

' _I just want to point out that Kuro is not a suitable name for myself.'_

"Is this really the moment?" Ichigo asked the glasses-wearing man, spreading a hand to encompass their surroundings. "I'm butt-naked in enemy land, with _no_ dry clothes to wear!"

' _Well why aren't you drying them then?'_ His both swords asked simultaneously in such a manner that had Ichigo clawing at his scalp in frustration.

"I would. If ye' dumbasses weren't butting in like this, goddamit!"

' _See? He's even talkin' like me. Admit it, Old Man, I'm the favorite.'_

"I _do not_ want to talk like you, idiot! You sound like some cheap thug! I never spoke like that, why are you like this!?" Seeing Shiro opening his mouth in a perfect semblance of insulted, Ichigo kicked at him again. "No, shut up! Either let me put on my clothes or fuck off!"

' _Let's see you trying to dry 'em, Orangey!'_

"I _swear to god_ -! Sokat-!"

' _Incantation first, Ichigo. You do not own another uniform.'_

' _Yah, and we all know ya' suck at Kidou.'_

Ichigo groaned. "Shut. Up. Ye lord, mask of blood and flesh, flutter of… of –"

' _Wings, Ichigo. Again.'_

Ichigo grumbled. He repeated the incantation, feeling his reiatsu surging from his center and pointed his open palm to a couple meters away from his soaked clothes. "Sokatsui." He finally managed to declare and a strong torrent of flames exploded from his hands, undirected and uncontrolled. Ichigo just made sure it did not touch his clothes and he cut the flow of reiatsu once his was sure his clothes were somewhat dry.

He grabbed at the black robes and smiled proudly to feel them steamy and dry for once.

' _Y'know, I said it once, I'll say it again, man you really suck at Kidou!'_

"You say that every single time. It's not even funny." He ignored his petty replies as he got dressed and opened a garganta. He had nothing else to do here. He jumped into the void and started on shunpo, the gaping hole closing up behind him.

.

In the river stream he had left, a four-legged creature appeared and started sniffing at the area sensing the reiatsu left behind and howled a call.

* * *

 **AN**. Does the thing at the end hold some sort of relevance to the story? Maybe c:

Come on, take a guess.

So, what did you think of it? I think I'm gonna speed things up a little, else this will take forever to finish. Also had been thinking on redoing the beginning. There's something I'm not entirely satisfied with. If you're interested in discussing it, do mention it in the review or send me a PM.


	5. Chapter 5

So soon already huh? (Don't expect this to happen often.)

Croix de l'Chrysalis

by

Raining Sky Guy

* * *

"We don't fight alone. We carry our comrades' hearts with us, even the fallen ones. Ichigo, no matter what, or where you are, you are not alone. Those who have left you, live in your heart. Those who remain, we stand by you. We will fight alongside you. You are not alone."

Ichigo wished he could agree with those (painful, excruciating) words.

He had never liked seeing his friends fight such powerful enemies, so he had tried to take the brunt of their forces as often as possible, but he always had had a place to return to. People to return to.

Even when they had been forced to fight day and night, they'd had each other. They had been mostly together, and even if Ichigo insisted on going out alone, even if everyone knew he was the strongest of them all, they all still insisted on going with him. Had actually saved Ichigo's life more times than what he could recall. Kisuke had even rescued him from _Hell_ , enough said.

Now he was separate from anyone he knew, unable to even feel them. His friends had always managed to get him centered. To make him feel a little human after endless killings. And now…

"Halt! Who goes there?"

Ichigo froze. He refused to recognize that voice.

 _It couldn't possibly be-_

"What is your name, officer?"

Slowly turning around, Ichigo was suddenly aware that he was not alone, having been wandering the outskirts of Rukongai for a good while, trying to put himself in order. But either due to his face, presence or plain common sense, people tended to give him a wide berth. He had not expected to bump into anyone, less so…

Pain constricting his chest, he finished turning around and stared… down… at the dark-skinned skinny teenage girl pointing a finger smugly at him. At her side, a dirty blond teenager was hanging back, looking a little curious but most likely not surprised at all at his friend's behavior. To the gal's right, stood a tall gangly teen who was outright ignoring them by reading a book whilst walking.

Panic ate Ichigo's tongue and he was oh-so-very relieved at that fact, otherwise he would have had to explain himself to three certified, if young, geniuses why he had called them by name.

The way he went stark pale wasn't much better though.

Yoruichi's eyes narrowed, while Kisuke's widened a fraction, now really attentive of him. Neither said anything else and the silence stretched on, tension augmenting and Ichigo was vaguely aware of how the teens shifted in preparation for something.

"What the fuck?"

The small hostility faded away thanks to Ichigo's wheeze of words, not fully understanding _why_ had he bumped into these three. His mind had still been miserably pondering on how he was alone, and how his friends were not with him when he once more realized that life hated him and slapped an answer to his prayers in the worst possible way.

Heart beating several miles per hour, the time-traveler tried to come up with something to say in the oppressing silence, Zangetsu too busy trying to make him calm down unless he bolted away, to be of any help.

"So, are you planning on telling them your name or will we be stuck here forever?" The tallest teen mumbled, with barely a glance up. Tsukabishi had instantly become Ichigo's favorite person. In a split second, god-knows-how, the young adult composed himself, pretending he did not know them. Pretending they weren't who they were. Pretending they had not saved Ichigo in more ways than one, as well as the other way around. Pretending they were nothing more than strangers. Pretending he hadn't harbored a hope that he'd find someone he could rely in them, under any circumstance.

Ichigo could play at that.

"A-ah yes, well, I'm- wait a second, why should I?" He said in an attempt to sound casual, even slightly annoyed. He ignored the buzzing in his ears as best as he could.

Yoruichi's cat-like eyes hadn't stopped scrutinizing him. Shit, when had she been appointed head of the Onmitsukido? She was too young right now, right?

"I'd suggest following along Shihouin's princess' whims. Also, where's the harm?" The blond boy –who _just happened_ to be named Kisuke as well—said with a little bounce in place.

Piercing my heart. Ichigo stupidly thought, before he crossed his arms, refusing to cave in. He looked away from them, aware of the way his heart constricted. "Shouldn't you introduce yourselves first?"

This drew an exchange of mildly confused looks between the teens.

Shit. Did he do something wrong?

"I'm Urahara Kisuke. That's Tsukabishi Tessai. Of course, she's Shihoin Yoruichi, though I suppose you knew already." The blond boy said in a mild tone, gesturing, first to himself, then to each of his friends.

Shit. Yeah, _obviously_. That had been it.

"So?" Iron-colored eyes looked back at him, coy smile in place. "Your name?"

Shit. If they started calling him Ichigo he might just balk right there. But he had no time to think, he needed to give them a fake name, but one he could answer to, but not one they could recognize, but not one so weird as to not sound like a name, but not one that-

 _Shit. He was running out of time._

 _"_ Shirosaki."

What the fuck kind of lame ass name was that?

Ichigo did his best not to cringe, slightly relieved the young teens apparently took him at face value.

"Surname too, Whitey!" The Shihouin princess exclaimed playfully.

"Name's K-Kon. Shirosaki is my surname."

What the fuck. What the fuck. There were _thousands_ of better names than _those._ If anyone ever got wind of-

"Alright then, what's your division, Shirosaki-?"

"Now, come on, I have places to be, kids. Let's leave it at that." Ichigo interrupted the girl and given their mild surprise he had done yet another mistake (although to be honest he was not— had never been good at bending over backwards over etiquette). Still, this whole thing was grating on his nerves and he didn't have long before his mind snapped in two and… he had no idea what he would do. Run, probably.

Ocher eyes with a hint of gold snapped back into attention when he sensed movement. Pouting, fucking pouting, Yoruichi disappeared from her place, eyes ablaze and headed to nab a knee in his gut. Ichigo, however had not missed a single step the girl had given, he followed her every move and without conscious thought he dodged, making (future) Flash Step Goddess Yoruichi stumble to her feet in the empty space he had been left behind.

 _Shit._ Belatedly, he realized he shouldn't have dodged that.

Appraising iron eyes. Surprised black eyes. Enraged, hissy cat of a woman.

"You can't dodge that!"

"Why not?" How was his voice sounding realistically nonchalant, he had no idea.

"No one can!" Yoruichi said in a dignified tantrum, slamming her foot down and already gearing to continue berating the stranger when Kisuke popped up to declare,

"I can!"

"Shut up, Kisuke!"

"Shutting up now!" Kisuke sing-songed with the same cheer as before, irritating her further.

"Arrgh!"

Ichigo stared dubiously at the childish squabble, the way Kisuke acted like an idiot to annoy his friend and hot-tempered Yoruichi rising to the taunts.

"I don't get why you are so surprised. I doubt those scars are just decoration. And he's an official Shinigami, of course he could dodge you, Yoruichi-dono." Tsukabishi inputted at last, lifting his eyes briefly to assess the rigid Shinigami before returning to his book.

"Which begs the question, where did they come from? A hollow?" Ever-curious Kisuke turned back to him with a sort of innocence that felt like a slap to Ichigo.

"What else could they be from?" Ichigo replied a little breathlessly. Even if, in a way, they were not from any hollow.

"I wouldn't know. Was it a vicious one? Maybe a Menos?"

Ichigo blinked.

Ah, right.

There had been a time where the most one could expect was a measly Menos.

"A wound from _that_ would have split him in two. Maybe a particularly bothersome one-"

This was weird and Ichigo was not having any more of it. So as the teens continued on discussing about him without him, he began to walk away.

"Where do you think you're going?" An unnaturally high-pitched voice stopped him as young Yoruichi crossed her arms imperiously.

Ichigo scowled. "Away."

"Hey-!"

And he was gone.

Ichigo felt a familiar itch on the back of his head. He had gotten the scientist's interest.

 _Shit._

* * *

Ichigo thought he had done a good job of leaving them behind when he noticed their subdued reiatsu making way over to him.

He was not at all proud of his next move.

He suppressed his reiatsu to almost painful levels and dashed away at his fastest shunpo. In less than five seconds he had already crossed the entirety of Rukongai and was once more in the edge of the forest.

Next time he wanted to think, he was going to Hueco Mundo and that was it.

* * *

' _Bahahahahaha-!'_

 _'When are you planning on shutting up?'_

 _'Shirosaki! Honestly, ya' make this too easy for me! Also, even if it's a crappy name –and holy hell it is –, he's leanin' more towards me, eh, Quincy?'_

 _'I do not see how. I commend you, Ichigo for thinking a name you'd actually answer to… though I'd say you could have chosen better.'_ His other blade stated with vague amusement, pointedly ignoring the white blade. Ichigo shrugged.

 _'Hey, I panicked.'_

 _'Yeah. We noticed.'_ Shiro added unnecessarily. Apparently seeing a lot of potential for mocking, he then said in a hideous smug tone, ' _so, yer Kon now, huh? Pray tell what made you choose such an appealing, handsome and tasteful name for yer-'_

 _'If you don't shut up this second, I'm tossing you into an active volcano.'_ Ichigo threatened as his face heated up. The name he had come up with was no better than what a three-year-old kid would think of. It was crappy and tasteless, and simply being called Kon was too much for him to take. Kon had done way too many stupid and perverted things for him to be able to just casually adopt his name.

' _Oh puh-lease, as if that would put even a dent on me.'_

Ichigo then quietened, not continuing to jest with his pesky sword.

"What am I going to do?"

' _Relax man, it ain't the end of the world. These kids won't be popping up every day. Also, you know them backwards. There's no way they would back you into a corner or something.'_

 _'It's the demonic trio we're talking about, Shiro. I wouldn't be so sure.'_ Ichigo remembered to keep his part of the conversation non-verbal. He rubbed his face tiredly.

' _Fair point. Still, if ye' get tricked by these young-as-fuck kids, yer hella more stupid than I thought.'_

 _'Need I remind you of that time they managed to lure you, who is half a soul of a Shinigami, out of our Inner World and capture you?'_ Zangetsu said mildly, making Ichigo smile despite himself at the way Shiro sputtered indignantly.

' _That is beside the point!'_

* * *

As the last rays of sun died down into the gray hours between day and night, a tired figure walked into the forest. Already tired, even if he had just returned from supposedly relaxing, Ichigo walked up to a meditating Diapers.

"Hey, kiddo."

Brown eyes shot open, as the kid reeled back in something like fright before recognizing Ichigo. Having read his every move, the World Savior was not wary this time, just amused. A scared Aizen was always a nice sight.

Diapers blinked. He frowned. He continued to stare, a little annoyed. "How did you do that?"

"Did what?"

"…" Diapers' frown changed to show less emotion. Which made Ichigo's hackles rise and he could feel anger coursing through his body. What was this kid hiding from him now?

" _Hey_."

"Appear from nowhere. I couldn't even sense you." The kid said accusingly, perhaps a bit too quickly as Ichigo's neck vein popped audibly in the ensuing silence. Irritation (but not anger) resurfaced in Ichigo, before he noticed the little waddle of pain in his midsection. Ah, right.

With a whoosh of breath, Ichigo relaxed his control on his reiatsu with little finesse, immediately cringing when Diapers started struggling for breath. He reeled it in to his usual low levels, and waited for the kid to regain his breath. He was not expecting the way the kid bounced back with a smile in place, but was too tired to care. He turned away (even as he watched his enemy out of his mind's eye).

"You're so strong!" The kid exclaimed (with admiration of all fucking things) from behind him.

"Whatever."

"Shinigami-san?"

"What," the man said, his patience practically non-existent now.

"Do you… do you have friends?"

Ichigo glared at the tree right in front of him. What the fuck kind of question-?! _He had murdered half of them-! What the fuck-?!_

 _He was not going to lay a single finger on them._

"I prefer to be alone." He hashed out. He glanced back over his shoulders, Diapers sagged a little, looking downcast for some reason.

' _What? Sad you can't toy with me, you bastard-?'_

His expression sobered at the way child-like features took on a lonely cast. Cementing into something sad and resigned. _Lonely._

How was this relevant?

Was this a turning point?

Was this the moment Aizen had decided to stop trying to blend in with his peers?

Blood roared in his ears, just like before entering battle. He mustered his breath and opened his mouth. "And that's why you should consider yourself lucky to have me with you."

Yoruichi's bloody face popped into his mind. Tsukabishi's severed arm. Kisuke's stitched face.

The way, Diapers looked at him like Ichigo just promised to hang the moon and stars made him physically ill.

He reeled in the nausea as best as he could.

He was going to change things…

He would….

He had promised.

He had been entrusted with the hope.

He had been given one last mission.

 _He would not fail._

* * *

"So what were you doing back there?" A much calmer Ichigo asked while they returned to the clearing that Diapers seemed to frequent. At the same time, he was maintaining a conversation with Zangetsu. The kid trailing behind him hummed.

"Mediating."

' _Ya' shouldn't worry 'bout the Kisuke thing. Granted he really is some snotty brat right now, but he'll grow up and learn shit and-'_

 _'And what? Spring on him, 'hey, I'm a time-traveler you sent back, help me get back to my time'?'_

 _'Well, ya'll have to do somethin'!'_

 _"_ I'm pretty sure you meant meditating, but okay. What for?"

' _I know_! _That's not the issue here. I'm just… I was expecting… just forget it.'_

Diapers shrugged. "I like it. Makes it feel nice and… not so… It's like I'm not alone."

' _Yer lonely that what. Y'don't needa hide that, Ichigo. Not like you could hide it from us anyway, but the fact's not gonna go away jus' because you won't say it.'_

"That must feel really nice." Ichigo's voice came out more melancholic than intended, but Ichigo decided he did not care. He ignored the way the kid looked at him with surprise. "What did you eat while I was away?"

' _I'm sorry, Ichi, I really am, but you won't have it easy this time around either. No use crying over that.'_

 _"_ More fish, and berries. I also got some roots. Also, I like boiling water with these pretty flowers… I don't know their name, but they help with fatigue, maybe you'd like a cup?"

 _'I'm not crying. And it's not… I mean…'_

 _'Yeah, we get it. You weren't the only one hoping for a comrade this time around.'_ Shiro mumbled with a little bit of longing. ' _And even if Kyouraku and Hirako exist here as well, we're just strangers… and if they ever got the slightest idea we're not fully Shinigami, well, they'd sooner gut us than be friends us. It took a war for them to trust a hybrid to such extent.'_ It took blood. It took pain. It took them experiencing the same. Now it was just Ichigo with the scars, the fear.

Ichigo was an outsider now.

He felt like he had spent his whole life being one.

* * *

Ichigo had learned some stuff today. Even when young, Yoruichi still had been at least as fast if not more than your average Shinigami officer. She seemed to always hang out with Kisuke and Tsukabishi.

They were good at reading reiatsu, but Ichigo still bested them though that was obvious. Same went for Baby-Aizen. Diapers liked to meditate for some reason. To resonate with his dormant zanpakuto, maybe?

Ichigo's muscles tensed. It mattered not whether he attended the academy or not — _if_ Ichigo let him—, many Shinigami with high levels of reiatsu, Ichigo himself was a perfect example, could materialize their own zanpakuto without need for an Asauchi. Granted, it would never be as strong, but…

How long did Ichigo have before his illusions were activated-? He would get suspicious if he refused to witness his Shikai. Aizen would make conjectures, he would save it for later, and would do his utmost best to make Ichigo surrender to it. He was immune now. He supposed he was. He should be, but there was no guarantee, there never was. He had thought he had been, but then somehow Aizen got even more powerful and trapped him in an illusionary Muken. No sights, no sounds, no feeling, nothing but emptiness all around him. Ichigo had been scared of not knowing what was outside the illusion. Was he being killed? Was he being tossed into open warfare? But what if he was in a medical tent with his friends? He could not draw his sword. He had had no way of knowing, so he said his body could go to hell for all he cared and he went into his Inner World to train. He had already beaten him before, just with sheer power. He would do that again.

It was a constant game of one-upping each other, and how was Ichigo to know _Aizen hadn't finally trumped him and he was in a fucking-_

Zangetsu swore viciously as Ichigo slashed at his arm again.

Real, it was real.

Which meant Ichigo had been sent into the past to care or kill Aizen before he went berserk. And he had just spent a whole day letting him do whatever he pleased, showing Ichigo stupid stuff and trying to make him drink something dubious and catching up to him… Was he doing the right thing?

' _Ichigo…'_

But the youth ignored his sword, instead closing his eyes and picturing the young teens he had met today. Mischievous, young…

And suddenly he was staring at a haggard Kisuke, robe torn, face a splash of crimson after their last venture. Sending Ichigo either to the past or to his death, but it did not matter because their universe was ending anyway. And even like that, after just fleeing away from Aizen, leaving the Soul King unguarded, with Ichigo barely able to stand due to his injuries, which he still felt even after getting treatment from Orihime, even as his friends were still dead, their cause lost and their universe about to implode, the man had the guts to smile at Ichigo. A smile of apology. Even as he was surrounded by worried people, he was the only one Ichigo could focus on.

The man looked at his pupil with something like sadness, an apology in his lips, even as he smiled for him. But his eyes were unforgiving.

He was not happy about this.

And so, what his lips apologized for, his eyes declared. With his iron-like determination, he swore to him.

" _Last mission, Ichigo. Go back. Go back and take care of Aizen and you_ will _rest. I swear on everything that I won't let-"_

Ichigo wanted to believe that promise.

But life had fucked with him so much, so many times, he didn't have it in him.

He felt petty but Ichigo could not believe him. Instead he would make Kisuke responsible of keeping his word.

(Because otherwise he would-)

To be continued

* * *

AN.

Because last chapter was so short and I was hit by inspiration at an improper moment (exam week).

So what did you think about this chapter? Also, I was not sure if to name Ichigo "Shirosaki" or "Kon". I went with Shirosaki because then Zangetsu could laugh at him XD. But what do you think?

(The story is finally moving forward(?))

 **Edit (12/2/17).** This chapter was way too rushed and with several grammar errors. Fixed those, changed some things, changed Ichigo's fake name to Shirosaki Kon, which of course he hates even more now. Made the scene transitions a little bit smoother, but there's still an air of incoherency, of lack of details that is all fruit of Ichigo's overburdened mind.

Special thanks to **Elmund9** for giving me helpful feedback and helping me improve the story.

Do leave a review with your thoughts!


	6. Chapter 6

Again an early chapter apparently.

Croix de l'Chrysalis

By

Raining Sky Guy

* * *

Ichigo's body shook as if electrocuted, blood escaping his lips. Pain lanced through his abdomen as a sword was rammed inside him, pinning him to the ground and making all his nerve endings ignite with a flare.

Faceless enemies surrounded him, jeering, laughing, and the voice he hated the most floated over as the twenty-year old was still trying to get over the pain, the shock.

"Kurosaki Ichigo, when will you learn that you're beneath me?"

Ichigo gritted his teeth against the searing agony and smoldering hate, as he struggled to lift his hands to wrench that sword away-

"You poor, lowly hybri-nigami-san!"

Eyes of black sclera shot open as Ichigo drew in a loud and desperate breath of cold air.

Once more, his reiatsu exploded all around him as the World Savior fought to regain his bearings, the pain in his stomach still vivid, a copper tang on his mouth and there was someone crying and he needed to go help them before Aizen got his hands on the boy-

In a swirl of black cloth and metal, Ichigo was upright in a matter of seconds, blindly dashing for the little huddled figure, holding him under one arm, ignoring the throbbing in his body, and he departed.

Behind them, a couple hollows made act of presence, curious and hungry at the display of strength but far too wary to pursue them. Ichigo was blind to them—reiatsu too weak to mean danger— as he did his best to get away from Aizen's reiatsu signal. He'd better locate their headquarters because there he'd have a window of opportunity to breathe and understand such bizarre surroundings as well as leave the kid in care of someone who didn't frighten hollows with his mere face.

Hollow bone started forming on his lower jaw, as he stepped up his shunpo, his ears filled with noise but still picking out his sword's voice, but he could not understand what was being said. He could only notice the sharp blade on his hands, and the extra edge– advantage– Zangetsu offered him, as they scanned for an enemy or a way out. When Ichigo realized he couldn't pull away from Aizen's reiatsu, he started panicking. It pervaded the air in all directions, no matter how his senses extended or how much he ran, dashing blindly. It was _Aizenaizenaizen_ everywhere, and he couldn't even sense _one_ of his friends and he was going to be caught if this continued on much longer. His gut twisted for one frightening moment before gold-over-black eyes recognized where he was and what exactly was going on.

The hollow fragments vanished into dust as he tried getting himself in control, pulse racing in his ears, lungs straining to supply the oxygen he was not getting. His face pulsed in ice-cold pain.

The limp weight under his arm suddenly weighed a lot more.

Boy, this was going to need some explaining.

.

* * *

First he made sure to leave the unconscious kid down. Ichigo lowered both of them with an almost mechanical gesture. Then-

Ichigo was not aware of when exactly he had departed from the hollowed tree he had left the kid in, nor of when he had unsheathed Zangetsu until he jumped at a shadow and sliced open a nearby boulder. His body still felt as if he had been wrung like a damp rag, and he swore he could still feel the sword slicing his stomach in two.

"It was just a nightmare." He whispered, voice hoarse and raw in the cold of the night. "It was just a fucking nightmare."

He looked down at the blade in his hands as it hummed at his response, and he finally acknowledged the noise buzzing in his ears to be Zangetsu's voice.

' _-just listen ta me- aibou? Finally! Thank the fuckin' Soul King, yer back!'_

' _I'm… I'm back?'_ Ichigo sent back, confused.

' _Don' get too hung up ovah it, just focus on mah beautiful voice as I get ya settled. Nasty dream that was huh?'_

Ichigo did not reply for a long while, breath trapped in his lungs, worrying Zangetsu to no end, before he exhaled with a huff, a smile lifting up one deformed corner of his mouth, "yeah, sure fucking was."

("Also, beautiful voice my ass, don't even try to pretend your voice is anything but awful.")

* * *

When the child next woke up, there was no one there with him. Disconcert and pain shining in brown eyes, the feverish boy looked for Ichigo with all the success of a blind baby and then, believing himself alone, he did absolutely nothing suspicious.

Ichigo assessed all this, even as he tried calming his jittering hands that itched to draw Zangetsu to be ready for anything. His reiatsu was once again muted and untraceable, so if the kid was really just a kid he'd never find him.

When the boy finally sat down, face downcast, blotchy red and looking ready to cry, a stupid sense of guilt entered him. What was he even doing really? Worst of all, the kid probably was hurt—given everything that happened—heck, it had taken several hours for the boy to finally stir. Even more for him to wake up. He really should go down and check on him.

He shouldn't be such a wuss.

Distant eyes looked down when he heard someone barfing. He was supposed to take care of him. He was being stupid.

The boy faced away from him, exposing his singed back to the tired shinigami.

This was his fault.

Even if just to ease his guilty mind, Ichigo lowered himself to the ground. He prepared his scowl. "Oi!" He barked, startling the sick-looking child. The kid staggered backwards, spit clinging to the side of his mouth. He hesitated briefly. "Are you okay?"

"…nigami-san? What-?" Baby-Aizen mumbled, managing to worry Ichigo when it became evident the kid could not comprehend what was going on. The little brunet's blank eyes lowered to the ground as another tremor took over him. When he doubled to throw up again, there was a steady hand on his shoulder and on his chest.

"It's alright, calm down." Ichigo mumbled more to himself, feeling the little soul still _still_ trying to cope with the sudden reiatsu overload from _hours ago._

It would take Ichigo some time to realize that, on normal conditions, that amount of reiatsu being released like a bomb no less, would have obliterated common souls.

But for now, he held the feeble boy, got him to lay down again, on his side and stood back.

Given his past success at protecting people…

Really, this should have been expected.

Maybe, he might end up failing his mission too.

Letting the boy die when he swore to protect.

Or failing to kill him when he swore to.

* * *

Ichigo stepped back from his handiwork and lowered the child on the makeshift bed he had prepared, his exposed back to the air. The Shinigami assessed the wound critically—on normal conditions, his unleashed reiatsu had the same effect as if he carried a gravity field, that's what normal, high level reiatsu caused, sometimes making the victim's every cell start to twitch uncontrollably, - which was the last warning before the body—human or soul—dissolved into thin air.

Ichigo's own reiatsu of course had to take things on to a whole new level. When it mixed with his hollow powers as it usually did whenever on the battlefield, his reiatsu acted like a watered down version of his getsuga tensho. Which was useful, really, just not right now.

He sat down on his haunches as he prepared the very-improvised balm and started applying it on the kid's back. Well, he thought wryly, at least the boy should be grateful it hadn't been both his hollow _and_ his Quincy powers. Forget dead, the spirit particles would not even get to enter the reincarnation cycle.

A sliver of blood trickled down a crack in the skin and distracted the man from his ever-dark thoughts. This child was so fragile, Aizen-in-diapers bled far too quickly. A couple more drops joined the rest. If only the bastard had had any blood left to spill, if it had been so easy as this then maybe Ichigo wouldn't have had to fight such a long war….

The young war veteran sighed in defeat when he noticed that he had broken skin. He slathered on some more balm before walking to the river to rinse his blood-stained hands.

Zangetsu remained silent.

* * *

When the kid next woke up it had been Ichigo's fourth vigil. The man had started to worry he had gotten the kid in a coma after the first twenty-four hours; and had taken nearly seventy-two more to decide what should he do if Diapers didn't wake up.

"…Shingami-san?" Where the first words he uttered, searching for him as he slowly sat up, clutching at his torn clothes in pain. The tiny huddled child moved slowly, painfully, face tired and oddly lethargic still. The veteran took no notice of this, as he stepped forward, arms crossed and back straight, ready to dish some tough act.

"Kid, you're finally awake?"

"…I feel ill."

"Yeah, I figured you would. Hey-!" Ichigo started out cool and detached as planned, but as soon as the kid's eyes started watering he started panicking.

"W-what? It hurts- What happened?" The boy said, shouting in pain when a particular movement tensed his back muscles and the pain flared. He started sobbing carefully—as if doing so hurt a little less. "Sh-shinigami-san! Make it stop! Make it stop!"

Frozen, the warrior just stood there for a moment, before all thought fled his mind and he was no longer a warrior, merely a worried older brother. Long-dead instincts kicked in as he shushed the child, whispering words and rubbing his arm with the utmost care.

Finally, the kid was calm and Ichigo let out a strangled breath. Finally. "Are you better?"

"…yes."

"Good."

He didn't apologize. He didn't say he was sorry.

He wasn't.

* * *

Ichigo felt lonely.

To be honest that was the least of his worries and he should not pay much mind to that but the nagging sense of solitude didn't leave him.

He wasn't a social butterfly or much less but there had never been a time where he could not trust Shinji or Kisuke or Rangiku or Neliel to have his back. He trusted them with his and his family's lives because even when he had fallen into a trap, even when he had been stuck in _Hell,_ he knew he could count on them to go after him, or at the very least to be there for him when he managed to break himself free. If he tried hard enough, if he did his best or if he followed the trail he would find them. They existed somewhere in the world alongside with him, no matter how far or unreachable. Those words had never meant much anyway.

Now he was fully aware that he had no way of reaching them. That knowledge hurt like a bitch despite how childish it was.

Zangetsu and Shiro were with him, true. But it was not the same. They too, were stranded here with him and they too, had no idea as to how the future was faring.

He needed help.

Goddammit, but he needed help.

The image of a young Kisuke, Yoruichi and Tessai popped into his mind and it hurt so much more. No, they were not them, they would never be.

They had never been them, and now, if Ichigo could help it, they would never – ever– be.

.

* * *

A week had gone by since then, and it had all been sleepless nights, awkward silences and scared resentment. The kid's back hadn't fully healed either, his clothes still a mess—Ichigo had offered to bring him clothes but had been rebuffed and subsequently ignored for a day. He had not tried asking if the boy wanted to see a healer.

' _And yet. He has not left.'_ Zangetsu spoke up at the end of the seventh day, sounding as haggard and tired as Ichigo felt. He didn't have to guess his frayed nerves were wreaking havoc in his inner world.

"But well, where exactly can he go to, in that condition?"

'I _do not think a mere flesh wound would impede Aizen from- 'The_ spirit cut himself short, surprised by his own words. It was so strange. It was so strange that right now, a 'mere' flesh wound _could_ kill the guy-kid-whatever. An undercurrent of bloodlust streamed into their conversation.

Ichigo closed his eyes, feeling at home with that rush. The week-long trial was grating on all of them.

If he killed Aizen he could go home.

If he killed Aizen his friends would not die.

If he killed Aizen right now, he could go back to his friends.

Those five years would not ever come to pass.

It would be five years in his nightmares, not a forever in his life.

* * *

A figure encased in shadows appeared silently behind the little soul. With no audible noise a sword was unsheathed and raised, ready for the killing blow.

The veteran's hand shook. His blade started shaking, sounding like the crying wind. Every single scar and wound that littered his body pulsed with pain.

Why was it so _hard_?

Why were her eyes judging him?

Why was everyone dead, staring, judging-?

Both of his spirits materialized and hauled their wreaked master away.

* * *

He slept for a whole day.

Ichigo woke up feeling much better. But not quite the same.

It was really shameful the way he was acting. Undecided,

Being indecisive was…

People had died when he was indecisive.

People would die if he was indecisive again.

So many people had died on his account actually.

For no good reason, Ichigo started piling rocks.

They stood vertically, straight and tall. Like the bearers of their name had stood once.

They littered the forest floor, so many of them. So many dead. So many.

For every soul that had stood by his side.

For everyone that had died.

Human, Arrancar, Quincy, Shinigami, everyone in between. It was almost funny how they had fought once because they were different. Death equalized everything in the end. Just like these stones were the same for everyone.

No one was better in the end.

When one died, there was not much difference.

Ichigo fell asleep again, just like a child. He fell asleep amidst a thousand marked stones. He dreamt with them.

He somehow found strength from them.

He would do it. He would do it for them.

For everyone that had died. For everyone that had survived.

He had to endure.

He had to change things.

(And still, the improvised graveyard was lacking one more stone. The one death he still refused to accept. The one death that didn't need a physical stone as it haunted his every day.)

* * *

His thorny crown made, Ichigo returned to Aizen, conscious that he had to do his best.

He sat there, in silence, watching over the injured kid—like a dog.

He provided food.

He provided water.

He provided fire.

He said nothing as the kid ignored him.

He didn't kick him back when the kid threw sand and sticks and stones at him.

He just sat there, unmoving, until the kid tired and laid down on the bed Ichigo had prepared again.

He stayed.

Stony featured, scary and lethal, the statue of protection.

* * *

"Shinigami-san."

Ichigo blinked, feeling his eyelids rigid as well as his limbs. He looked over at the kid who was fidgeting in place. His cracked lips remained sealed.

"Aren't you going to eat? Aren't you hungry?"

With the innocence of all children, the little boy forgot all about his fear, his pain, as he worried about him. Maybe he was worth saving?

"Shinigami-san. Are you alright?"

"Shinigami-san."

Ichigo stared at blasphemous lips, moving to form the words. At revolting eyes staring innocently at him.

"Shinigami-san, are you listening to me?"

Ichigo merely blinked in reply but the kid seemed to take that as answer enough. "You haven't eaten in days. You should be hungry.

"You haven't moved at all. You're not a statue of Shinigami-san, are you?" The kid asked with a hint of a smile, and somehow, it made Ichigo's lips crack upwards. Though they were so parched, that, Zangetsu couldn't help but comment in a dry tone,

' _When we told you to bloody smile, we didn't mean for you to take that literally.'_

"Am not." Ichigo finally said much to everyone's relief. He blinked irritated eyes. "How are you doing, kid?"

Something inside him withered away at the way the kid glowed with excitement.

"I'm better!" He exclaimed with nothing of the former anger, or resentment, hands lying limply at his sides instead of hurling more rocks at him. Was this normal behavior? It had been such a long time since he had come in close contact with little kids…

' _Stop right there.'_

' _Focus on the kid.'_

" _That's good to hear."_ He said in unison with his swords, knowing what they'd want him to say at the moment and letting himself say it.

"And how are you, Shinigami-san?"

"…Uh, yeah, let's see your back."

There was a minute flinch on the kid's part that made Ichigo tense up in turn. Why had that been? Was he wary of Ichigo? Afraid he'd get hurt again? Or or… or

….Or his back had already healed.

Ichigo sobered up immediately, senses on overdrive. How, _how?_ There was just no way…

"Kid…"

The boy cowered and Ichigo's reiatsu flared briefly.

"I thought I told you I hate liars." He mumbled gravely, vaguely wondering why that had been the words he had uttered.

"I'm sorry…please don't be angry…"

His back was healed.

How much of his reiatsu was he hiding?

"Are…are you angry?"

Ichigo forced himself to relax. Getting angry wouldn't help him. He did the next best thing he could think of. He lied. "No, kid. It's just that… I don't like liars. And there's really no reason to hide that from me, is there?"

Aizen played with his hands, but somehow seemed a little encouraged. "You… you don't find it weird?"

Shrewd brown eyes stared at him. "Nah, has anyone told you so?"

"… Most people don't usually like things that are different."

'And how do you know this?'

"I think you can agree that I'm not most people." Ichigo said with a hint of humor he would forever be grateful he could find. He looked down at his hands. "What makes you different allowed you to heal quickly, allowed you to survive. No one can fault you for that. I'm just glad that you're healed."

He lifted his gaze again and was struck at the unadulterated adoration on the kid's face. He stood there, frozen in place as the child he had almost –accidentally and not— _almost_ murdered, painfully, excruciatingly, started crying. Tears of relief.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you..."

Why…?

Why was he thanking him?

Why was he thanking the bastard that just a couple hours ago had been ready to execute him in cold blood, asleep, injured-?

Ichigo stared with something akin to dread. But not quite. It was more like fear. A different kind of the usual fear. The youth trapped in a never-ending war could not understand, where did this feeling stem from or what did it mean but…

Was he really the person this child was looking at? Could he be what he needed?

 _How long had he gone by, alone, detested, feared-?_

 _(_ Enough to want Ichigo at his side. Enough to settle for menacing, foul-hardy, dangerous Ichigo as company.)

Ever-strained legs bent down as Ichigo lowered himself to be eye-level with the child.

 _If_ this was reality.

 _If_ this was not an illusion.

 _If_ this child here was nothing but a lonely soul…

A calloused hand was raised to rest upon dirty locks of brown. It was the first time Ichigo ever touched him, without any kind of spite.

 _If_ this child was a child, who did not know better…

The kid flinched a little at the touch, the memories of pain far too recent for them both, but as soon as he realized what was going on, he started glowing, pushing softly against the hand as if doing that would make him closer to the _human contact._

Ichigo had to try.

He owed himself at least that much.

"Shinigami-san! Shinigami-san, hear this!"

To be continued


	7. Chapter 7

Hi there.

Croix de l'Chrysalis

By

Raining Sky Guy

* * *

"So kid, how old are you?" Ichigo asked, shifting his feet along the fire, a tiredness underlining his voice as Diapers was getting used to hear. Still, the man had been asking so many questions to him and it had been so much fun lately. Diapers grinned elated, bouncing back and forth while his bum remained connected to the ground as he hurried to answer.

"I'm like…. One-fifty!"

Ichigo honestly had no idea what to make out of that. Spirits were old as fuck. This tiny sprout was already older than he was for more than five times his age. He decided to just ignore it, if the kid looked like ten years old, he'd be treated as much. He behaved like that, so it was fine, he concluded as the child continued to rock back and forth.

But what he now knew was that he had spent a little more than a century isolated. Less paranoid people, or even more tactful people, would leave it at that but Ichigo _needed to know._ "And you've always been alone?"

Diapers stopped on his motions, curled up and eyes downcast. He clenched and unclenched his fists as he mumbled. "Not always."

Ichigo froze. He had not expected… "What do you mean?" He asked with mock-nonchalance.

"A long time ago, I had… I had friends. Not many. Not too smart either, but we liked to play together. We stole water and played in Rukongai."

"And why aren't you with them?"

"I killed them." He whispered in a heartbroken voice. Ichigo barely suppressed the impulse to stab the kid right then and there. Aizen picked up at least a little of it as he flinched away from the man before he lifted his hands to wave in the air, frantically, "no! It wasn't on purpose!"

"How did it happen?" The warrior barked out, hand still poised on his sword. Diapers started trembling as he tried to stammer a reply, words flowing easily once he began.

"… I-I don't-don't know…. But they started getting s-sick. One after another. And they started dying even though we gave them water and food even though they say they don't really need it. Suzuki survived. She survived because she had a family and they took her away from us. And while she was away she got better, but she said she didn't feel good when she was with me. I wasn't allowed near her after that."

Unhelpfully as always, Ichigo's mind procured him the memory of Aizen waltzing into some city in Europe, gloating and taking in the sight of several hundreds of unknowing humans collapsing and dissolving into thin air due to the mere pressure of Aizen's reiatsu.

Shiro smacked it away by swearing viciously and demanding that he wasn't going to serve a wielder who couldn't ' _fucking put attention and keeps zoning out, making us look stupid in front of the brat.'_

"Kid…" he paused, this was probably a similar case, but how could he determine how strong Aizen was? Ichigo had never had these sort of problems despite his strength, though at first he was dealing with humans, which were far less sensitive to reiatsu, and then he was constantly surrounded by strong people. Although… there had been instances where-

Don't lose focus.

Anyway, he should have picked up…

No. Ichigo frowned again. He had probably ignored it. Aizen may have a big reiatsu reserve, but it was still below the threat level. For Ichigo. Aizen's current reiatsu was less than one hundredth of Ichigo's current power. They both had been given clear proof as to who was the strongest (provided that there were no illusions involved). This time he truly focused on the signal of the kid in front of him, his hairs standing on end at recognizing it, but his scowl eased a little. At least this was no mystery.

"Kid…" how to phrase this? Rather, should he tell him? This early on he didn't feel like handing over any sort of information in case… in case anything went awry. His lips thinned. He would save this for later. Not like it mattered now that he would keep him company.

"What's wrong, Shinigami-san?" Diapers inquired, looking curious despite his quivering and Ichigo once again realized he had trailed off. He shuttered his expression as he got his mind back on track.

"No… nothing. I'm sorry to hear about that."

The trembling subsided as Diapers looked at him with wonder.

"It doesn't bother you?"

"Well I'm not feeling very sick, so no." Ichigo lied, looking away from him, missing how Diaper's grin just continued on growing, as he raised his fists to the air.

"That's because you're so strong, Shinigami-san!"

He would not die by accident. Is this why the kid insisted on being with him? Ichigo was his indestructible toy?

Ignorant of the happiness irradiating from the little soul, the Hybrid stared at a point just beside his face as he forged on. "You didn't try to make friends again?"

"I… I did… but… there was a rumor and they didn't want me to get close anymore. They grew scared of me." Baby Aizen muttered suddenly sullen, arms dropped and smile erased, this Ichigo did notice. The man was struck with a memory of Aizen gloating. He had always loved frightening people. Being superior to them. Was this really who would demand the world bow to him?

It seemed hard to assimilate.

"Is this why you began wearing glasses?" Ichigo found himself asking, remembering the forsaken object.

Diapers shrunk in on himself, looking even more dejected than before. "Yes."

"And what clued you in?"

"What?" Diapers asked as if he couldn't pick up the underlying meaning behind Ichigo's words –something that made him almost snarl in frustration, as _if that was even possible._

But, he had already decided to give the child the benefit of a doubt. He rephrased. "What made you think glasses would help?"

"Tamaki used glasses and he was teased for it." Diapers mumbled, eyes distant. "They teased him with names and calling him a weakling. But we weren't mean to him. And those who bullied him… we made them stop."

"How did you do that?"

"We scared them." The child said, toying with his hands as he remembered the distant memories, apparently unaware that he had dodged another bullet. Or more accurately, a sword to his heart.

"Did that made them stop?"

"Well, not at first, but we persevered."

It was then that Diapers sneezed, breaking the clinical distance Ichigo had finally fallen into. The logical sequence of questions he had been crafting was interrupted as he finally took notice of the child's clothes –or what remained of them. He had completely forgotten this child's clothes were basically tatters, his full back exposed. Or rather, he had forgotten he should do anything about it.

"Kid. I need to get you clothes, alright? Otherwise you're going to get sick."

(And also, this was the perfect excuse to stay away from him for some hours, Ichigo mused, focusing more on where he was going to go scavenge for clothes than on the child with the hesitant hope in front of him.)

"But…"

"I will be back."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Alright,"

"Perfect, see you in a while."

* * *

No matter how impartial he was trying to become, Ichigo still relished in being away from the child. So he took his sweet time to give the outskirts of Rukongai a long walk before entering the shopping district. He really should have expected it this time.

Ichigo looked up with alarm, a distinctive reiatsu snapping him out of his daydreaming harder than a slap would have. The figure that had sprung up from _fucking nowhere_ grinned at him, white teeth flashing. "Yaho!"

Ichigo's mind went on overdrive. What was she doing here? Fuck how had she found him?

Sort of pissed and a lot panicked, the man made a wild dash to take cover in the surrounding forest.

"My, you aren't happy that the Shihoin heiress has come such a long way to visit you?" Not-Yoruichi exclaimed with mock surprise, mirth still on her face as she drew level with him, having chased him the whole way. Ichigo did his utmost best to relax and compose his features even while he cursed at himself for not taking off in a mad shunpo sprint. He could not let her see any sort of panic or heartbreak on his face.

"Why are you here?" He managed to hash out.

"Reports came in for the Shihoin. There was a weird, strong release of reiatsu in the vicinities of the southern forest. Call it a hunch, but I figured it might be you." The Princess said with a cheeky grin even as amber eyes assessed his response.

 _Fuuuck_. How many people had been notified of Ichigo's night activities? He would have to be more careful from now on. His Quincy told him with a sour tone that he alongside with his charge would have to move locations unless they wanted Shinigami descending on them. Even worse, _Shihoins._

"That doesn't explain what you're doing here."

Yoruichi's face turned serious for about a second before her toothy grin was back. "I want you to teach me how to be as fast as you are."

Ichigo couldn't help but gape. Zangetsu was similarly flabbergasted. He blinked several times before pointing at her like a caveman. "You." He said, then pointed at himself. "Learn shunpo… from _me."_

The spindly teen frowned dubiously.

Ichigo still wasn't sure if this was some sort of joke.

"I can't teach _you!"_ He exclaimed, not sure what to reply. The Flash Step Goddess, learning shunpo from _him?_

The kid of course took it as an offense. "What! Why not!?" She asked, indignation in every line of her body.

Shit. He shouldn't have phrased it like that, hell he shouldn't have said anything at all. Thankfully his Quincy was the smartest out of the three of them and quickly supplied him an excuse.

"I mean… you're a Shihoin! Don't you have like prestigious private teachers or something?"

"Yes. But they aren't as fast as you! I am as fast as most of them, and those – few, mind you—that are faster than me I can at least follow with my eyes! Which is something I couldn't do with you!"

"Then train yourself or something! Get yourself a better teacher!"

"I can't believe I hadn't thought about that." Yoruichi deadpanned, making Ichigo bristle subtly. She then pounded her palm with her fist. "Oh, I know. Kon-san, be my teacher!"

Who the fuck was Kon-san?

Ichigo inwardly cringed at the hideous name, taking a moment to recognize it, before he scowled. "I didn't know we were already on first-name basis, Shihouin-san."

"Seeing as how you've yet to address me as Shihoin-dono or Yoruichi-dono, I think we are."

"Dono my ass, you're a brat who's like half my height. Want respect, earn it! Or rather, just go away, you're annoying!"

She was just as vivacious young, he couldn't help but think, high-spirited and as curious as a cat, but there was no way he was getting mixed up with her. He'd break down crying at some point or something similar. Or he'd let something slip or or anything could happen when it involved Yoruichi or Kisuke-

And _just then,_ he realized he was not alone and an incensed Ichigo disappeared from the spot the girl was hotly reprimanding to stand a couple feet behind a tree from which a young dirty-blond teen was crouching behind. "Hello there." He said friendly enough.

The teen spun around and promptly toppled backwards from the fright (Ichigo was hard-pressed to stay where he was, but he wasn't sure if what his body wanted was to help him up or blast away from them). The teen smiled nervously, "…hi."

"And what is _your_ business?"

"I don't have any." He shrugged rather calmly, sitting up straight. "I just tagged along with her."

Ichigo pinched the bridge of his nose in irritation, to hide the expression he couldn't really suppress at the thought of _Yoruichi and Kisuke, inseparable, unbreakable, and who swore they would protect each other and Ichigo and Tessai to the end of the world. And they had proven as much, time and time again and-_

 _Shit,_ this is why he didn't want to be with them. Besides, no matter how much he longed to see them, these were not _his_. It wasn't Kisuke who was staring at him and it wasn't Yoruichi who had realized she had been left talking alone and had started yelling for him. But at the same time they looked so familiar and they actually were…

"Um…" a voice broke him out of his depression party and Ichigo prepared his scowl when he looked back up. The teen seemed to be wanting to ask something but Ichigo beat him to it.

"Don't tell me your other friend is hiding in the bushes somewhere."

He smiled sheepishly, making Ichigo feel like stabbing himself. "No, Tessai is at home, studying like always. He rolled his eyes and called us nosy. Which we are, in all honesty. But we both are intrigued by you, Kon-san."

"What the fuck, why are you both calling me Kon-san? And the fuck you mean by intrigued? I'm not a party clown and I have better things to do than stand temper tantrums." He paused. "And you shouldn't be intrigued. You should be scared."

"Ah don't worry about that, I am." Not-Kisuke said with a wave of his hand. "But I am more intrigued than scared."

"Not scared enough to be calling me Kon-san, for fucks sake."

"Then, if I called you Shirosaki-san, would you be more inclined to listen to us?"

Why?

Why had he thought up such a fucking stupid name?

 _Why?_

"Don't call me anything and go home already, fuck!"

"So what is your division?" The youth forged on relentlessly, and Ichigo narrowed his eyes at the way slender limbs trembled softly. He stared back into achingly familiar storm-colored eyes and forced himself to answer light-heartedly.

"So you can hound me even there? Like hell I'm telling!"

"You're no fun- "At that moment, Ichigo felt a hostile intention and without thinking he hurtled forward, scooping up the startled kid in one arm, Zangetsu in the other as he darted away from there, seeking out higher ground so he could defend properly– barely a heart-beat after noticing the hostility and five before he realized it was just hissy princess who had missed his gut yet again and was standing there, indignation blossoming in her face.

"You can't dodge that!" She yelled at him once more, but Ichigo paid her no mind, tension easing away from him in an instant, clumsily letting go of the teen he had haphazardly picked up with a muttered apology. The teen stumbled to his feet, a bit put off, but storm eyes even more curious.

"Kon-san… have you-?" the question hung in the air, but eventually the genius decided not to ask. He shook his head. "No, never mind. Thank you for the save."

 _Wow, my shining hero! Thanks, Ichigo-kun, that was close-_

 _Last mission, Ichigo. Go back. Go back and-_

He needed to get away from them.

"Shut up. Don't come looking for me, I won't play nice next time, "he threatened darkly, blade glistening in the light before it was sheathed. It was in a sealed state, but the intricate pattern of the hilt, was a big hint that he had a pretty good hold in its name. He disappeared on the spot, probably suppressing his reiatsu like last time, in a way that not even Tessai had been able to pick up.

Kisuke couldn't help but hum in thought as his friend continued yelling threats to a man that was no longer there.

"Kon-san, if you want to threaten people, don't save them beforehand."

They had a cranky war veteran in their hands. The last war of Soul Society had been at the beginnings of the Gotei Thirteen. Kon couldn't be older than eight hundred, one thousand tops.

Questions and more questions.

Such an interesting man.

* * *

Ichigo had once more startled his charge by irrupting in the space where they set up a fire at nights, too distracted with muttering profanities with a sour face, clothes hanging on his shoulder and reiatsu once more imperceptible. The man didn't give Diapers much time to process the situation before he tossed the clothes over to him, ordering him to change as he started destroying all evidence of their stay there, untying another strip of cloth that Diapers hadn't noticed, to make a satchel where he dumped all the food he could get his hands on.

"Do you have anything you wish to keep?" Ichigo finally asked the kid, the motions having calmed him down some (also not sensing the irritating trio helped).

Diapers looked up from tenderly fixing the new clothes to not rub his recently-healed back and inquire eloquently, "Huh?"

Ichigo asked for patience from above. Like the Soul King gave two shits about what he felt though. "We're moving. I mean, I'm moving, and I suppose you'd like to tag along as well."

The young soul's face glowed, Ichigo looked away. "Yes!" Diapers exclaimed, but confusion set once more on his features. "But… why?"

"Don't know about you, but I need to keep on moving." Ichigo lied smoothly as he finished tying the satchel. He stood up. More like he had the spy family locking on his reiatsu and he was having none of that. Not to mention the three abso-fucking-lutely insane kids that seemed to find him _amusing._

"Shinigami-san!"

"Yeah?" Ichigo turned around to give him half a glance. Diapers looked mildly concerned. Instinctively, he focused on his senses, trying to find out an enemy or a trap – Zangetsu couldn't sense anything amiss, no foreign reiatsu.

"Is this something to do with… being so strong? Do you need to keep on the move? Not to damage things?"

"What?" Ichigo stopped in his motions to stare at the child, sure to have heard wrong.

"I mean, I mean, if I got people sick just by being near them… what about you?"

"…It has never been an issue for me." Ichigo said after a pause. No harm in saying this. Diapers looked dubious. Even worried, but fortunately he did not press the subject. Instead, Ichigo told him, "I'm done packing my stuff. I'm leaving in five minutes, so you better be ready by then or I'm leaving you behind."

This effectively set Diapers into a panicked frenzy, making sure he did not forget anything (even if he barely owned anything at all), tripping over himself as he picked up an extra stash of berries he had hidden and he clutched his new pairs of glasses he had yet to wear. Ichigo allowed himself a sideways smile at the sight of a hurried kid saluting at him, not even two minutes after.

* * *

Ichigo set off in a soft shunpo, distracted thoughts trying to pick up any sort of foreign signal – which now that he paid attention, was dangerously close to their location. He was immediately sidetracked by the way Aizen's track signal started fading slowly. With the rasp of metal over leather, Ichigo wiped out Zangetsu, ready for some ambush, for his world to collapse as the illusion finally broke and he was so _dead_ , he had no idea where he would appear even-

Nothing.

What was this? Nothing was happening. It made no sense. Surely, by now…

' _Ya need to start accepting this is reality, aibou.'_ Zangetsu murmured soothingly at him, his hollow side subdued completely for once. ' _Ya're hella fast. Obviously the kid couldn't follow.'_

" It's _Aizen_ we're talking about. There's no way he isn't- "Ichigo began, cold drops of sweat dotting his forehead, his face pulsing in sympathy. "I mean, _if_ this is real, the kid would have to be fast-"

' _Of course you're right,'_ his sword agreed easily, voice still soft and agreeable. ' _But Ichigo, saying that_ ya _are fast would be a big-assed understatement. You're still the second fastest- no, at this point in time, you probably are_ the _fastest Shinigami alive… or sort-of-alive.'_ Zangetsu gave a mental shrug. ' _Semantics. Re-dead people complicate everything.'_

"I'm not supposed to be." Ichigo allowed himself the words, misery lurking behind every crease in his face but he didn't give his spirits any chance to respond to that before he was hurrying back towards the signal of the child.

No blood had been shed this time, Zangetsu couldn't help but rejoice. But he wouldn't be so foolish as to think his wielder was healing.

Not yet.

* * *

"Wow, yer slow." Ichigo commented offhandedly once he found his charge, who had been going at a panicked dash so he was gasping for breath as he stared wide-eyed at the apparition. "Pick up the pace or we'll be getting nowhere, Diap-kid."

Oops. It probably wouldn't be a good idea if the kid knew how Ichigo had been calling him all along (when he stopped with murderer at least).

"You…came…back…for me." Diapers gasped out, wide eyes glowing faintly in a way that made Ichigo uncomfortable. "I'm sorry… I'm slow…I'm going… going as fast as I can."

Ichigo massaged a scar he had over his left shoulder ( _Hueco Mundo, some jackass' Völlstandig; he had gotten lucky, Ichigo had messed up and instead of avoiding the flashing attack he had tried to parry it, it diffracted and gouged its way into his shoulder, but Hanatarou had time to collect the injured Arrancar and leave-_ ), a little distracted and ready to assure the kid that, whatever, it wasn't like it they were in a hurry when the disgusting whiff of a spy tickled his senses.

 _If they thought they could bypass Ichigo and spy on them one more time-_

' _Stay put, ye' moth'fuckin' idiot.'_ Zangetsu practically growled, clearing his wielder's mind which allowed them to sense the spy ignoring them completely as whoever it was, relocated someplace else. Where to, Ichigo could only guess.

Why?

Regardless of what this person's mission was, surely they would at least pause at sensing their reiatsu, or noticing his uniform or… something.

' _Maybe I should remind both of you that we are in a rather painful state of reiatsu suppression. I am well aware you lot are insufferable masochists and perhaps forgot about this fact, but the only reiatsu that can be sensed is …_ Diapers' _._ His Quincy spoke up, soothing baritone centering him at last. Shiro only bypassed the insult because he had successfully explained the situation and calmed their master quickly. ' _Also, we have seen firsthand how blind these_ spies _are oftentimes.'_

"Shinigami-san, I'm ready-!" The kid's voice snapped Ichigo back to reality and he had a split second to decide his next words.

"Okay kid, how's this. I won't use shunpo but instead we're going to run at your fastest pace until this day's over." Ichigo proposed in a tone that brooked no arguments. Diaper's smile faded as he looked at the sun high in the sky and back to Ichigo with a pale face. He gulped nervously.

"O-okay, then-"

Ichigo gave the kid three hours before he collapsed.

* * *

The passed out kid was snoring opposite of him, but Ichigo felt even more awake than usual, as he stared at the patch of stars he could see between the shifting tree branches. This new place felt colder, for some reason. Also, it wasn't contaminated with Aizen's signature so it was like breathing crisp fresh air for the Shinigami hybrid.

But even with this slight change in surroundings, the young war hero couldn't help the thoughts bombarding his mind.

How easy would it be to replicate Yoruichi's and Kisuke's and Tessai's childhood? Ichigo had no idea how they had acted as actual kids, he might as well be projecting his hopes into the mimicries he had spoken to.

Would he ever wake up from the illusion, wake up once more to blood spraying the air, as friends and foe alike died all around him, unable to save them, unable to defeat them. Just strong enough to ward off the army, but not strong enough –never strong enough– to bring down Aizen and end this-

Like poison dripping into a city well, his mind and body kept on being contaminated.

How could he know what the fuck was going on? How could he know he was not in any illusion?

It would not be the first time he had thought he had broken out of one, only to be stuck in the actual illusion for days.

When had been the last time he had escaped…?

Last thing he remembered was losing to Aizen. Which could still be an illusion, more so because it made more sense for the narcissistic bastard.

And besides, why had Kisuke thought about time travel in the first place?

He never quite said it out loud but he had been sort of agreeing with Kurotsuchi when he had called the man 'delusional', and 'grasping at straws'.

To be honest it made much more sense to think this was an illusion than whatever magic-shit Kisuke had claimed to have managed to enable travelling to the past-

And suddenly Ichigo's lungs constrain, as fear kicks back in.

Five years ago he had thought the war had been over.

Back then he along with several _thousand_ more people had been proven resoundingly, absolutely _wrong._

Ichigo held the hilt of Zangetsu in both hands trying to feel reassured on the touch, so familiar, so worn, so _fake and feeble and imitable-_

Trying to breath through his panic did nothing but create black dancing dots in his vision. He was not breathing. Shoulders bunching up until they popped wetly, the Hybrid whimpered slightly before allowing his sword to descend on his forearm, viciously–even sighing in relief as blood spluttered and pain flared.

This was reality.

Now, Zangetsu did not say anything because it was painfully obvious Ichigo needed a tangible way to determine reality. Or he'd go insane. Already his memories plagued him and the barrier between the conscious mind and the shattered, injured part of him was starting to crumble.

If only the method was different.

(Had they been wrong to think their master had begun healing? Was it possible?)

To be continued

* * *

AN.

Holy shit it's done. Sorry for the delay, broke my right hand and stuff.

So, what do you think? Is Ichigo healing? Is he dealing with his paranoia or is his paranoia dealing with him?

Also, oh no, Kisuke is _curious_ now. Ichigo's probably doomed. Lol

Additional note: I have 34 _pages_ written for this story that won't crop up for at least 15 more chapters. This story is growing far beyond me; this is getting frightening. Not even sure if I'm ready for that commitment haha.

Lemme know what are your thoughts! What do you suppose is going to happen with the trio? With Diapers? With Ichigo? With the Worlds?


	8. Chapter 8

Guess, who's back. Back again. RSG's back. Tell a friend.

Croix de l'Chrysalis

By

Raining Sky Guy

* * *

Ichigo couldn't breathe.

Before even opening his eyes, the youth was already scowling, registering in the cold air of the morning. He cursed his scars to hell and back as he sat up and cradled his nose in a not so warm hand.

(One of the many downsides of having his face become a cutting board was that his airways were such a mess he started having trouble breathing when the cold got to him. So fucking irritating.)

As he tried warming up his nose, the Hybrid looked around, assessing his new surroundings and reminding himself of the most recent events. As far as he could tell, he was still in the past. He had changed locations after hearing about the Shihoin's being curious about the sudden reiatsu output in the woods, but this other forest looked relatively the same – foreign – to Ichigo.

Everything seemed to be calm, quiet. Even better with the crisp air of the dawning morning and the absence of reiatsu pervading the air. Not even the shivering figure of a child managed to disturb-

Wait, why was the kid trembling? It wasn't _that_ cold.

…

He couldn't… he couldn't be having a nightmare, could he?

"What possible reason could you have to shiver?" Ichigo thought out loud, voice a little hoarse, not really sure if this made any sense. Also, what exactly of this child's life could be worth having a nightmare over?

The void of Muken came to answer his thoughts.

Loneliness, Abandonment. Abhorrent isolation.

Annoyed, Ichigo forced the thoughts away. Yes, the kid had apparently been very lonely, but it couldn't compare- nothing could compare to that hellhole.

' _I think you might be exaggerating. Children have nightmares too. Even without witnessing the horrors of war, people have nightmares too. That yours are the Armageddon descending on us, should not invalidate other kinds of less strong fears.'_ His Quincy monologued as if he had been awake for several hours more than Ichigo. The boy squinted.

' _Good morning to you too, Zangetsu.'_ He replied a little sarcastically but was quick to agree with his sword. After all, this war would not ever come to pass. No one would have to fear the kind of things Ichigo and his friends had lived through. Which still left Ichigo with the moral obligation of at least trying to do something for the quivering child a couple feet away.

He stretched and walked over to him. Diaper's face was scrunched up, as he shivered erratically, sometimes stopping for a couple seconds before reassuming. Ichigo nudged him with his foot.

' _Ya gotta be fucking wi' me. Seriously? With yar filthy foot?'_ Shiro was quick to attack his wielder, even as amusement leaked from his every word.

' _The other option was using your blade. Shut up and deal. He won't die.'_ Ichigo replied, feeling like being obnoxious. He was fully expecting the offended harrumphing of his sword.

' _So Quincy here gets a 'good morning' and when I call ya' out on yar bullshit act ya fuckin' treat me like that?'_

' _Well, for one, I actually like him- '_

' _I_ refuse _to listen to your peanut gallery blather on so early on the morning.'_ The Quincy blade interrupted quickly in a tone that brooked no arguments. Ichigo felt a tad bad about him since they had been annoying him for a while now. ' _We have more pressing issues at hand, like waking up this child with some_ finesse _.'_

"Right. Forgot about that." Ichigo cleared his throat as he crouched and tentatively poked the other.

' _Have ya' ever dealt wi' a human being? Be honest wi' me.'_

' _You better shut up now or we'll find out if Zanpakutos can resign their positions.'_ Ichigo commented as he felt the Quincy seethe in frustration. The Quincy part of Zangetsu had never gotten along with mornings–he was always especially irritable during them despite the fact that he was always awake before Ichigo. He focused again on the child and this time he tried his shoulder. The boy flinched and Ichigo lifted his hand, mildly concerned he had hurt the other (again) inadvertently.

No, the kid had just reacted at the sudden touch. Ichigo hesitated for a moment, but tried again at the prompting of his swords. He shook his shoulder gently and slowly the child began to rouse. Unexpectedly, brown eyes shot open and stared hazily at the frozen Ichigo.

Diapers blinked and there was no one there. Confused, but awake, the boy rubbed his eyes and attempted to sit up. He whined dramatically as his muscles seized up and quickly gave up on life as he slumped on his back with a pout and another startled whine.

"The fuck is wrong with you?" Ichigo felt compelled to ask once it was obvious the kid would not move from his sprawled position.

"My body hurts, Shinigami-san!" He exclaimed obnoxiously loud for being this early in the morning. He seemed to be doing it to compensate for his inability to even move his arms. Ichigo stared dubiously at the child, wondering where this one-man-comedy act had come from. If this was supposed to be such.

"Because you're so fucking weak that's why."

"No! It's because you made me run so much the other day!"

"Exactly. If some simple running left you so worn out, what has that got to say about your strength?"

For some reason Ichigo could not elucidate, Diapers seemed to be enjoying himself. "But Shinigami-san," he continued to whine, "I have not had any training! How could I be strong? Hey Shinigami-san where are you, I can't see you!"

Ichigo squinted, still not understanding this sudden behavior and these nonsense questions. "If you'd look up you'd be able to see me, runt."

"But my neck huuurts." The kid continued to wail with a good humor that was out of place. He probably wasn't even having a nightmare earlier, and Ichigo had just made a ridicule out of himself (but who had seen it?).

"Look, I don't know what's your deal so, uh…" Ichigo faltered, not sure how to follow up. He wasn't sure if Diapers would even be able to walk today or soon-ish. Not much else to do.

"Shinigami-san where are we?" Diapers interrupted, letting his head loll to be able to stare at him up-side-down.

"Dunno."

Diapers stared at the Hybrid in his position, big wide eyes curious and confused. "What?"

"We just ran until you passed out, I wasn't thinking about a location at all."

"Oh. Did I run a lot?"

"No you did not."

"But- but!" Diapers whined some more before a yawn interrupted his chatter. Ichigo was still staring at him quizzically. "Shinigami-san, I'm hungry."

"Do I look like your fucking maid or something?"

Diapers fingers curled as Ichigo's gravelly voice made him tense up and his excitement waned slightly. "No, but you always bring food for both of us, I just- "

Ichigo let that sink. He _had_ been acting like a fucking maid alright. Well, not exactly and it's not like it was demeaning or forcing himself or something. And also, this was just another excuse to be alone for a minute. "Whatever, I'll bring something, stay put."

* * *

When Ichigo came back with rabbit steaks, dry and prepared to be put over the fire (he still hadn't found the stomach to gut the rabbits near the kid or let the child even try), he scanned his surroundings and Diapers quickly, his face immediately falling flat.

"I did say to stay put, but you literally didn't move a fucking finger did you?"

"I'm tired."

"Sucks to be you. I brought food." The Shinigami said, dragging a half-rotten log he had seen before so he could use it as a chair, he set the meat in his lap seeing as he had yet to find some nice rocks to set it down. That done, he stared with increasing irritation the unmoving figure of Diapers. It had become a custom for Diapers to collect the wood for their fire and sometimes he even started it, but it didn't look like this was going to happen this time around.

"I don't see it."

"Well, you gotta sit the fuck up for that."

"But-"

"How the fuck do you expect to eat otherwise?" Ichigo asked, already having given up on the idea that maybe Diapers would prepare the fire. He began pilling the raw fillets on a stack on top of the cleanest surface available so he could stand.

There was silence. "That's true." Diapers finally conceded. He did not move.

Ichigo's eye twitched at realizing that this whole breakfast ordeal was going to take at least until sunset.

(He ended up ditching the kid three hours in.)

* * *

Ichigo was practicing his swordsmanship alone again, waving Zangetsu around in the setting sun's rays as he thought about his day. Diapers had good stamina for being a runt that lived in the forest and ate whatever he could find. It was still rather crappy but nothing that couldn't be fixed easily.

The thing was…

Did Ichigo want to fix it?

The kid _was_ going to get stronger regardless of whether Ichigo helped him or not. But certainly not as fast and probably not as strong alone as if Ichigo started… training him.

It was _one thing_ to decide not to kill him just yet, another one altogether if he wanted to make Ai- Diapers stronger.

A bitter stab of betrayal crossed his chest in mock-sympathy, remembering how Hiyori had been sectioned in half by- How Harribel had been-

Step.

Pivot.

And Ichigo sliced the air and the ground and his reiatsu whipped the targeted area clean for at least a couple kilometers, offing any would-be-attacker because he would _protectprotectprotect-_

Ichigo gasped as he figured what might come next and he frantically tried to block his memories but inevitably those ethereal amethyst eyes stared back at him, stained with red –blood– and just-

He fell to his knees. "I don't know what to do…" He whispered to his ghosts, asking for some sort of forgiveness from them. He leaned on Zangetsu, face pointed downwards. "I'm so sorry, I don't know what I am doing…

"Am I doing the right thing?" I need someone to tell me.

* * *

While the Hybrid would have preferred to abscond someplace else for the duration of the _week_ , both the close brush with the trio, the spies still probably looking for them _and_ (so damn many reasons) the fact that he was still pretty undecided on what to do with the brat, he had simply sat down as he watched the kid attempt at meditating again (which he had been quick to mock as that particular activity required approximately zero physical exertion).

When he saw the boy yawn he realized he wasn't meditating all that much so he decided to interrupt his napping session. "Hey kid, if you had to choose between never being hungry again and having friends, which would you choose?"

Only to be slapped by Shiro for it. ' _Way ta be subtle.'_

Ichigo coughed into his fist to keep his composure. That had never been one of his fortes.

"Well, I'd love to have both." Diapers started boldly, but before an irritated Ichigo tried to make him pick one, he continued on his own. "But, shinigami-san this is not a very difficult question. Of course I would prefer having friends. I can make food for when I'm hungry, but I can't make friends when I'm lonely. That's not how things work, Shinigami-san."

"Well, of course- "

"Is it too much to ask?" Diapers interrupted. "For friends?"

Ichigo was left speechless at the sincerity and longing in brown eyes.

(He did not answer.)

* * *

Ichigo decided to establish a clear perimeter to watch, making no physical delimitations if they ever needed to run away again quickly, but mostly to have a path to patrol. He gave it a couple rounds as slow as he could, directing all of his senses into it, satisfied he could not sense a foreign reiatsu anywhere near. Ichigo breathed in. everything was so… calm.

He…

He would like to get used to it.

Aizen's signal in the back of his head tingled and Ichigo sighed. Enough daydreaming, it was time to go back to reality.

* * *

Like that, a whole week passed. Ichigo was forced to use Zangetsu's cloak as a blanket instead of a pillow because his nose continued on being blocked (he resolved to fix this problem as soon as he could), and Diapers demonstrated his not-completely-useless expertise by making himself a blanket out of foliage. Ichigo refused one. Also he wondered how he had made it, but decided against asking.

Ichigo sometimes had nightmares. That was a given fact considering he had spent the last five years in the most gruesome war to have ever occurred. It wasn't that he had them daily –and not like he allowed himself to fall deeply in sleep either, but he did have them with annoying frequency. It had even ramped up in their intensity since he had managed to estrange himself from every soul that had ever heard his name, let alone been his friend.

But nothing quite as catastrophic as that first nightmare happened. It had been just a one-time-occurrence. He had fallen deeply asleep, he had been startled, and he wasn't quite as used at the presence of this non-Hogyoku-weak Aizen. It was certainly not the first time he had jumped someone on his sleep. Though they generally were enemies, so it was all good.

But now waking up from a nightmare was like a discordant note. Now his nightmares were just that, a nightmare. Just a couple weeks ago, back in his time, his nightmares weren't half as bad as what he was living through. What they were living through.

Now, when Ichigo had a nightmare, when he woke up he would vow that he would change things. He would change things and his friends would be safe and alive and this would just be nightmares. Not flashbacks. Not would-be-scenarios.

He would change everything.

(He tried to ignore how they got increasingly worse.)

* * *

It was during one of his hazy-almost-asleep nights that he was reminded, for some reason, of Tatsuki. Not the one that had joined the war with grim determination and enough will and raw strength to compensate for her less than impressive reiatsu reserves. No, the one that was thirteen years old, just as strong as he was and who was already a black belt and was going to start teaching the new kids. She had gone on some long rant about how martial arts were good for teaching discipline. Discipline and values –ignoring Ichigo's truant ways of course.

Was that what he needed?

(Not like a little karate would make the Aizen harder to beat.)

"Move your foot back, keep your back straight. Breathe in and slide your foot…" Ichigo mumbled as he absently went through the easiest form he could remember of karate (it was surprisingly hard to do). When he glanced at his charge, he was surprised at the sloppy form of the other. What was it again? For good posture you had to have proper core strength. Was that what he was lacking?

Ichigo kept quiet. He wanted to know if Diapers would train on his own to try and correct himself. Given the way he looked close to tears by the end he was almost sure he would.

He did.

Ichigo told him he was going to go on a walk again and with a fluid gesture he unsheathed Zangetsu. He focused his reiatsu into the dark blade, seeing as thick black reiatsu started oozing from it. The first drop fell and blended into the shadows of the trees. Ichigo stepped into it and soon enough he had blended into the shadows, no sword or Hybrid in sight. After this elaborate and neat trick, Ichigo quietly snuck from tree shadow to tree shadow until he had perfect view of Diapers.

He saw the child go over the form (remembering it perfectly) with the same sloppy form, off-balance. The kid stomped. Tried again. And again. Again. Until he fell back on his butt and he stared sullenly at the floor.

He didn't continue.

Next day, same thing.

They went over the same form with basically the same results. Ichigo left him alone and watched from the shadows as Diapers repeated the form until he couldn't continue.

Next day again.

And the next and the next.

Until Diapers finally managed to execute the first form Ichigo had taught him. It was more familiarity and bullhead-ness than strength or understanding what helped him, but once the child barely stumbled while executing it, Ichigo decided to help. At least now he knew he could be dedicated.

* * *

The grueling training began. Diapers had been exposed to Ichigo's ruthlessness in every sense of the word but now it had been taken into a whole new level.

He had stopped teaching him karate to focus on strengthening his core muscles first and then his arms and legs. Diapers did sit-ups, push-ups, climbed trees, ran like crazy while Ichigo sat back and barked order after order.

Ichigo wasn't sure what kept the little kid going. He figured not many kids would willingly exercise until they puked or collapsed while repeatedly getting yelled at day after day. Well, okay, Ichigo had curbed his yelling and he had started to catch the child before he dropped ten meters when he fell off a tree and he always had something easy on the stomach for the child (not even surprised sometimes the kid couldn't even eat that). He was pretty sure anyone –absolutely _anyone –_ who saw him would call him a child abuser or slaver or anything like that but, well…

The kid wasn't leaving.

He was barely complaining.

(Though Ichigo was pretty sure the only reason he hadn't gotten truly angry at him was because that first time he had fallen off a tree from a fifteen-meter height was because he had knocked his head into unconsciousness and probably didn't even remember the fall.)

Ichigo had started with this Spartan approach because he did not know any better, and because he wanted to see what made him tick. Then he continued because he wanted to see how much Diapers could withstand, how long would he last and then he continued because he began to want to see how far would he go.

Diapers didn't give up.

He complained (all the damn time) but never did he refuse the new daily regime or did he try to make Ichigo stop.

"Why though?" He had finally asked one day as he helped Diapers hold the steaming potato-on-a-stick between two trembling hands. The kid looked a little green but he hadn't eaten anything since two days ago so he needed to eat.

Diapers struggled a little with the steamy potato, eating minuscule bites before he glanced up at Ichigo. "I want to be like you."

Ichigo scowled. "I'm not teaching you how to use a sword." He had wanted It to be a statement but had come out instead more like an ultimatum (it was probably both anyway).

"No, but, even without a sword you are so fast. And strong. And… well, you are taking the time to teach me all of this. I'm really glad you have stuck with me!" Diapers finished with a chipper tone.

"Kid, I'm driving you to the ground. Aren't you tired?"

"Well duh!" Diapers had the gall to laugh. "But I'll get over this and I'll be stronger and I'll be able to stay with you!"

.

' _Is what he said.'_ Ichigo said out of nowhere in the middle of the night. His swords were very well aware of what he was talking about.

' _The kid's crazy. Nothing we didn't know before.'_

' _But it also is cause to raise some precautions. He might push himself farther than he can–or should.'_ The Quincy blade added to Zangetsu's insight both sounding a little irritated. Ichigo felt confused.

' _But why? Why is he like this?'_

' _Does it matter?'_ Shiro asked, ' _not tryin' to say it ain't important in the long-run. But… I don't think ya' have the mental capabilities ta be worrying 'bout this just yet. Take a chill pill.'_

' _You realize that at this rate, he's gonna end up dead? He either won't notice or I won't… well, care and he'll just be dead by morning. That ain't healthy.'_

'Everyone _is unhealthy. Sucks to be him. Who I am worried about is_ you.' Zangetsu whispered and Ichigo felt a smile lift his lips just for a moment. Blades could get so selfish about their wielders so quickly. He couldn't help but feel a little relief to know –to be reassured– that they would choose him over anything, that they would protect him over anyone.

Zangetsu continued, his Quincy counterpart taking over. ' _I think this is a good method. Maybe you started off too extreme, as all of your teachers have been much more ruthless, but because you were… you_ are _stronger than the average and the circumstances were beyond dire. Right now there is no… enemy. No impending war for this child to fight, so you can take it easier I believe.'_

' _I agree with the Quincy. Aibou, you made the decision to protect the kid. If you think you're being too aggressive it's alright to lower the level.'_ There was a pause. ' _As to why his behavior is such… we're as lost as you are. Just… be careful.'_

 _(_ Why were they so reluctant to admit the amount of loneliness suffered that had caused this insanity, this lack of common sense, of survival instinct?)

Chapter 8 End

* * *

AN.

 _48 PAGES IS WHAT I HAVE WRITTEN FOR THIS STORY. OUT OF THOSE, 10 ARE FOR THIS CHAPTER. THIS IS GETTING BLOWN OUT OF PROPORTION HOLY FNCK._

 _*coughcough*_ Excuse me. I am merely surprised at how long this fic seems to be. How'd you like how Ichigo is dealing with Diapers? Should he calm down and not drive his charge to an early grave?... Probably.

Next update will take longer because I don't have the next chapter completely thought out. Consider checking out my tumblr for random stuff, notifications, maybe a spoil of war or two from any of my fics.

Before this becomes much longer, hope you enjoyed this chapter and let me know what you think in a review!


	9. Chapter 9

I always write a line up here to avoid FFN messing with my title alignments.

Croix de l'Chrysalis

By

Raining Sky Guy

* * *

"It's over?"

Ichigo rubbed his forehead, as if trying to keep a headache away. "For the fifth and last time Dia-kid, _yes it's over._ We are done for the day."

When Diapers opened his mouth to (probably) ask if they were _really_ done Ichigo decided he regretted ever lowering the level of his regimen. Which probably was as good as a threat as any. "One more word and we'll be returning to the other routine. Anything else to say?"

Ichigo felt relieved that this kid wasn't _that_ suicidal.

* * *

So he had probably overdone it a lot. Ichigo had reviewed his training regime after his little talk with Zangetsu and had realized he was an idiot. He hadn't quite figured out why the kid hadn't left already– or died, anyway– but if he was remotely normal, he knew this was the perfect path to permanently cripple the boy one of these days. So he had spent a couple of days figuring out what to do with himself.

And this new method, taking it easier, giving the child time to rest, had seen far more improvement than what even he expected.

Slowly but surely, Ichigo watched the kid finally get a hang of the techniques. Once his dedication had been tested, Ichigo finally stepped in and taught him the proper way to strengthen his core and then to execute the stances.

When Ai-Diapers could execute the form properly for the first time, the kid followed it through to the end, closed it properly before he started jumping in joy. "I did it! I did it!" He shouted, ecstatic, hands in the air and twirling stupidly –not even caring when, in his exhaustion, he went dizzy and fell on his butt. "I did it, shingami-san!"

Ichigo stared at him, puzzled at the enthusiasm of the other after accomplishing such a small task, but his scowl softened noticeably as he simply said, "yeah, you made it."

"Shinigami-san, shinigami-san! Teach me another one!"

"No way in fucking hell, I'm tired." Ichigo replied at once, words slipping without even a thought. When Diapers immediately deflated, Ichigo felt morally bound to at least add. "We'll see tomorrow. Not like you could do anything today anyway."

"Tomorrow, you promise?"

Ichigo felt drained as he stared into blasphemous dirt-colored eyes. "Tomorrow." He said curtly. Diapers looked a little scared but thankfully decided to leave it at that.

.

Ichigo taught him the next one, and the next one, Diapers soaking them in greedily and rapidly. Ichigo was starting to see problems ahead since he didn't really remember all the forms correctly, but it wasn't like anyone else would be there to evaluate them so he supposed he could simply wing it.

But as the kid stopped getting as tired, Ichigo began to order him around as well. A little bit more of exercise, picking up wood, chopping down trees for future wood, catching animals (but never gutting them).

And once more Ichigo started having nothing else to do but grow restless, his reiatsu suffocating him slowly, begging to be released. He couldn't very well release it here, what with his Getsuga Tensho obliterating everything in its wake, but also the Shihoins were a problem. They hadn't caught up to him, but he knew that even a sign of a strong reiatsu would notify them of his presence.

It was time to go to Hueco Mundo.

* * *

He gave the kid a vague notification before he departed towards a more secure spot, crossing over to another plane with barely a thought (other than to remain concealed from any prying eyes).

Stepping into the sun-less waste, Ichigo relaxed, letting his control over his reiatsu slip as it whipped viciously around him, almost as if it was angry at being restrained for so long.

He no longer had a human body that leaked reiatsu like a broken faucet, his soul was a much better reiatsu container, but there was only so much he could contain at a time before it began turning violent.

After a while, his energy stabilized properly and he sighed collectively with his swords. He had gone much longer without some nice relief this time around. He was just about to comment it to his swords when he picked something at the edge of his senses. Something strong.

Suddenly, the air began to clog with reiatsu, both his and someone else's, which while not as strong as his, was still sizable. Ichigo stiffened and turned around, unsure of what to expect.

At first he couldn't make out anything, but a small creature in the distance. The reiatsu stream continued on growing as the creature got closer and Ichigo could make out a four-legged creature pawing its way on top of the farthest dune, placidly sitting down on its haunches, looking over at him.

After a while it rose its head and howled.

…It almost looked like it was greeting him.

Ichigo was unsure what to make out of this weird Hollow, who remained there, assessing him. Ichigo's skin prickled as the foreign reiatsu began surrounding him, almost tangible and sentient, faintly he could feel something like familiarity from…

' _Hang on, ain't that Starrk's reiatsu?'_

Zangetsu's question felt like a splash of cold water.

"It is." Ichigo breathed out before he was rushing forward. The Hollow noticeably tensed up, ready to pounce, a cero forming on his snout and his growling made the dunes they were standing in quiver. The young man paused in his sprint a hundred meters away from the creature, not out of wariness, but more because it felt off, this behavior. Starrk had always been a lazy bum, if fighting could be avoided he'd rather disappear altogether. The one that was always raring for a fight was his smaller counterpart–Lilinette. Could that be because he was so much younger?

"Hey, easy, I'm not looking for a fight." Ichigo rasped out of breath, as the sand started rippling as ghostly wolves appeared and the hollow began to howl. "Come'on Starrk…" He said while preparing his blade for an attack from the ghostly wolves surrounding him.

But too late, he noticed the ghosts were just a diversion and when he realized, Starrk was gone.

* * *

He looked for him. Of course he did. But there was no trace of him.

In the endless dessert, Ichigo was alone again.

"Guys…" he said, his mind finally catching up to him.

' _We found Starrkboy.'_ Shiro muttered in the same astonished tone as their wielder. Zangetsu sighed in something like relief. ' _That was Starrk, I can't believe it.'_

"He's alive… Starrk's alive." Ichigo let out an incredulous laugh. He wasn't sure if he felt happy or worried. Probably a mix of both. But it didn't matter. Because _Starrk was here_.

The hype lasted for a good couple of minutes, while Ichigo rambled on non-stop about Starrk, how he could bully him, with all the embarrassing things he knew about the other and how, him being a hollow, and not constrained by civility and norms, Ichigo could be a little freer with him and-

A hollow.

Starrk was a hollow.

Ichigo felt a little dismayed at realizing Starrk wasn't an arrancar, not even a Vasto Lorde, if memory didn't fail him, his form was that of an Adjuchas. Probably.

' _So? Wha's the big deal?'_

"That he's like five years old! Can he talk? Surely he can talk? It wouldn't make sense for him not to, even lesser hollows can talk, what does it mean? How long before he becomes a Vasto Lorde?" Ichigo babbled in increasing hysteria, not really sure where his questions were taking him.

' _He's not_ five years old _, aibou. Be real. He's a grown-up-ass-man… uh, hollow. He simply hasn't gotten that strong.'_

' _I fail to understand why are you so worried.'_

Ichigo remained silent, as he assimilated things. "Yes, yes you're right."

It still tugged at his heartstrings for some reason.

* * *

After some more unsuccessful search, Ichigo finally gave up and –a little crestfallen – he returned to Soul Society.

He was startled out of his brooding as Ai-Diaper's signal suddenly shot up and he noticed he had arrived at their little section of the damn cold forest, with the kid having caught sight of him and rushing to his side.

"Shinigami-san! You're back!" He exclaimed, little arms waving in the air, as his tousled hair waved in the wind. Damn, Ichigo couldn't help but think. He hadn't meant to return just yet. "You didn't take so long this time! Thank you!" He really hadn't taken that long. He really had nothing planned for interactions with the child.

' _Oi, douche. Kid's talkin' to ya'.'_

Ichigo blinked, not really aware of when he had stopped paying attention to the kid. He hoped he would repeat the question.

"Shinigami-san?"

"What?"

"I asked if there's a river close by." The kid said and just then Ichigo noticed his chapped lips, swollen hands and pale complexion. What the fuck was going on?

"Since when you haven't drunk anything?"

"Since… I don't know. I don't think we brought any water from the other spot and I can't… I can't find water." Diapers finally confessed, scuffling the dirt beneath his feet, eyes fixated on the ground and just barely meeting Ichigo's.

Ichigo couldn't help the thought, _'so why haven't you died then_?'

"Let's find you some water, then. Shoulda said something beforehand, kiddo." He forced himself to say almost instantaneously. Diapers began pouting.

"But you weren't drinking anything either!"

"So what? I'm much different from you." Ichigo declared flippantly as he walked past the child, missing entirely how his eyes widened and looked almost scared. "Anyway, I think it would be better if you stayed here while I fetch some more water. And no, it's not because I like acting like your fucking maid, but I don't think-"

"L-let me go with you, shinigami-san!"

"As I was saying, you'll collapse two steps into the search. Stay here."

"But-"

Ichigo stopped and shot him a golden-eyed stare over his shoulder, void of emotion, arms tensed. " _What?_ "

Diapers flinched, cowing into himself. "I'm sorry."

"Come again?"

"I'm sorry I'm not fast. I'm sorry I'm weak." Diapers mumbled, successfully stumping the World Savior.

' _I'm lost here, guys.'_ Ichigo thought, thoroughly confused. His swords didn't seem to be off much better though.

' _He's… uh… trying to be like you-?'_ Shiro tried, not sounding very convinced. Though Ichigo would take anything right now, he looked away from the child so he could frown.

' _Why?'_

' _You've stuck with him, I guess. He's appreciating your company.'_ Shiro continued on rambling, but at the Quincy's prompting, Ichigo looked back again and surely enough the small kid was staring at him, red-faced, little hands clenched tightly.

' _Okay, let's hypothesize later, kid's looking at me like he's gonna cry at any moment.'_

' _Well say something!'_

' _Oh, gee, Shiro, great idea!'_

"Uh," Ichigo said, trying to gain some time. "Don't… don't apologize, yeah. It's fine, I'm not mad or anything. But let me get going because you really look like you need some water."

Diapers still looked downtrodden. "Okay," he mumbled, sniffling rather loudly, but then an idea formed in his mind as he bounced back. "I'll be training while you're gone, Shinigami-san!"

"Er…" Ichigo started. The morally correct thing to do was stop him before dehydration killed him. He knew he should say it but… a part of him did not want to.

If he died like this, it wouldn't be Ichigo's fault.

A cold invisible hand was pressed on his shoulder, another on his face.

' _Why?'_ An invisible voice mumbled, dredging up memories Ichigo preferred remained buried. Doing his best not to lose his composure, the World Savior turned around and prepared to dash away. Curtly, he mumbled, "don't. Stay put."

As he left in a flit of shunpo he couldn't help but think that he had left his heart in the clearing, which was ripped out when he left. But he couldn't help it.

It hurt.

He only hoped it was for the best.

* * *

Ichigo stared in confusion at the sight.

Ever since he had been informed that people needed water to survive, it had been several weeks since he had begun bringing water for the child. Diapers kept insisting on going with him, but truth be told they were pretty far from any water source, so Ichigo denied his requests every time. He did not want to be slowed down. Also, it gave him some much appreciated alone time.

He had kept his ventures into Hueco Mundo to a minimum for some reason. Every time he went he sought out Starrk to no avail and it was starting to mine Ichigo's already low hope.

And so, his walks for the water were very welcome.

Though not this time.

Back to reality, Ichigo stared at Diapers as the kid fed an effing stag some berries of his stash.

This was a forest, he understood. He had seen herds of deer, but had stuck to hunting rabbits, he knew animals were curious and he'd already seen a squirrel or two on the edges of their camp, but they had the sense to remain away from Ichigo and his strength.

So it made no sense why this fucking pronged bastard had the gall to just waltz into dangerous territory.

"Shinigami-san! Look at this! His name is Prongs!" Diapers exclaimed excitedly upon seeing him. The stag tensed, his long, sharp prongs swiveling far too close to the kid's face as it rose its head to asses Ichigo. Thinking not to be a threat, the creature returned to teasing the berries out of Diaper's hands.

Ichigo wanted to kill it out of principle. This creature was as dumb as they came.

"He likes me, Shinigami-san! He probably likes you too!" The child continued on exclaiming, raising a hand to pet the creature on the neck once the fruit was gone. He giggled when the stag started licking his hands and then his face apparently at ease.

Ichigo decided he did not care whether he scared the stupid animal or not, as he thundered his way towards his resting spot. The stag glanced at him again, but promptly returned to the little soul.

Ichigo stared at the weird duo, a question burning in his tongue. "How did he come here?"

"I don't know, I was collecting more berries when he popped out and began to follow me. He was nice so I gave him some of my berries." Diapers explained helpfully, still giggling as the stag nuzzled against him, sharp prongs once more missing him just barely. He then looked at Ichigo, infantile eyes wide in hope and wonder as he uttered the words every child would, in his position. "Can I keep him?"

Ichigo rubbed the bridge of his uneven nose. "Kid how are you going to keep it from running?"

"He won't! So long as you don't scare him!"

"Okay, alright. Just… do whatever you like with him. But if he messes around with me, he's a dead deer. Got it?" He asked both of them before deciding to jump into the tree, out of range from this mild insanity and called it a day.

* * *

The creature refused to budge to Ichigo's mild attempts to scare it away, refused to leave and kept ignoring Ichigo in favor for the berries that Diapers was quick to administer. Ichigo decided he did not care any longer, ignoring any and all obligations towards them and left them to their own devices. It was relatively harmless and it kept the child occupied. If only the creature could pick up a little, just a little of his own strength, only a smidge of wariness to prove that he wasn't absolutely brainless but there was no such luck.

At night, when the knot in his gut was too tight and prevented him from sleeping, he would stare at the animal as it rose from sleeping by Diaper's side to wander aimlessly, as if looking for someone. It noticed Ichigo and they stared down at each other before the stag kept on wandering into the dark night.

"Also lonely, huh? That makes two of us." Ichigo couldn't help but mumble under his breath as he stopped being able to see the animal.

Where did the stag come from, anyway? Shouldn't he be with his herd or something?

Was he lost?

Had he lost his family (too)?

* * *

Ichigo decided it was for the best, and anyway this place got stupidly cold at night, so it was alright that they were going away. He had convened with his swords that they might as well look for the stag's herd since they weren't doing anything much. Like this Diapers could be occupied and the stag might be able to leave and rejoin his family.

It still made no sense why he had popped up in the first place, why he had approached them instead of wandering aimlessly. Ichigo eyed the "child" as Diapers piled some of the logs they had dried to take away on their "mission" to find Prong's family.

Was there any chance this had been calculated?

That Aizen had seen the herd while he had been away and decided he wanted one for himself and so murdered his family so it would have to grow attached to him?

Had Aizen stolen his family away from him (too)?

' _Ichigo.'_ As always, Zangetsu's soothing voice calmed down the maelstrom forming inside of him and Ichigo noticed he had stopped breathing again. ' _I doubt that is the case. Provided this is real, look this kid in the eye and tell me he would do such a thing?'_

' _I wouldn't put it past him.'_ Ichigo replied spitefully as Diapers noticed his stare and smiled up at him. ' _He would do whatever it took to do whatever he wanted.'_

' _Are ya' talking about the toddler that couldn't even gut a dea' fish? That almost collapsed when tha' rabbit broke its neck and died on the trap?_ That _kid?'_

Ichigo felt an irrational anger growing in him. He didn't even do it consciously, but he took off in a flit of shunpo to slam against a tree several kilometers away so he could bicker with his swords better. ' _Yes, the_ kid _that threw a whole society into upheaval, managed to betray the Gotei 13, the arrancar, the quincy and_ still _come up on top._

' _I can't even prove to myself this is not an illusion! Don't tell me to trust him!'_

' _Well, shit, you'd rather be stuck on the same shit every day? This is your reality, Ichigo. You gotta stick with what you choose. Ya can choose whateva', but fucking stick to it! I_ told _you, there is no room for mistakes, aibou. I will not allow you to fail this mission even if it costs us our lives.'_ Zangetsu rambled on, just as incensed as his wielder, his Quincy side relegating the role of the voice of reason. ' _Don't want to make friends with him because this might be an illusion? Well, you can still kill the kid. Problem solved, right? The moment you decide you can't do this anymore; you'll have to do it. I won't allow some half-assed plan of yours to make its way to the future. To- a-anyway… Damn it! Quincy, help me out here!'_

' _While your worries are understandable, you have to stick with your plan. Do you suspect him killing the stag's herd? Then figure out if it's true. I believe that would simplify our mission exponentially. If it's false, then you can decide to trust that Diapers won't kill simply to get ahold of something he wants. If it's true, then… we won't rest until he is dead. Do we have an agreement?'_

Ichigo deflated into himself. "Yes."

* * *

He did not return to the child. Instead, he departed on his own, trying to track any signs of violence or of a herd that had recently passed through. It was an activity he was not used to doing, he had never had much interest in the boy scouts or whatever and it wasn't like there was such a thing where he had lived, so there weren't many things he could consider as leads.

So he wandered aimlessly, doing expanding circles around their area, trying to find the herd itself.

It wasn't that hard in the end.

Ichigo arrived at the scene of the carnage with mild surprise. Traces of hollow lingered in the air, too weak for Ichigo to even acknowledge it at first, more interested in the big three-toed footprints everywhere.

The ground was covered in leaves and the ever familiar red, with the even more familiar stench of death clinging to everything.

The bodies of the dead does and stags littered the ground, just like the leaves, in a haphazard fashion, with cuts and broken legs, one was missing its head and there was one that had had half of it bitten off by a maul as big as Ichigo's sword.

What was perfectly obvious was that this had been done by a hollow.

Now the question was,

Was this what had actually happened? And if so, the hollow had been hungry? Had it been disturbed and attacked in a rage? Or had it been sent by someone?

(What was real and what was pretend?)

To be continued

* * *

Wooow. Already on chapter 9, huh?

So.

A lot of things happened this time around I believe. How'd you liked them?

Kudos to **Kimikozumi** for correctly guessing the creature on chapter 4 was Starrk! Also to ****angelheartoflove** ** and **Girl-of-Action** for guessing it was an adjuchas (wrong character tho). Hope you like him because I think he'll be around for a while. Well… once Ichigo manages to find him anyway.

Also, yes, that was an HP reference.

Enough rambling, hope you enjoyed it and don't forget to leave a review! And check out my tumblr! /rainingskyguy


	10. Chapter 10

lLong-ish chapter whoo

Croix de l'Chrysalis

by

Raining Sky Guy

* * *

Ichigo opened his eyes and cursed the name of one Urahara Kisuke as he stared face-to-face with the drooling deer staring right at his soul.

Ichigo more-or-less punched it weakly in a reflexive gesture already having been awake just not aware of the impeding drool doom. The animal whined in pain and looked at him with hurt eyes that Ichigo crankily ignored.

" _Kid!_ " He hollered instead, seeking out the sleeping figure of Diapers. The kid jack-knifed into a sitting position. "Get this stupid animal away from me or else we're having him for dinner."

Those words as usual set the kid into a panicked frenzy, immediately going over to the stag to cling on his neck and try to get him to behave. Like this, Ichigo was free to ignore both of them for a while longer as the two idiots were distracted with each other.

The barely-a-man rubbed at his nose irritably, the scars tingling uncomfortably yet not quite painfully. He looked around to the half-disorganized remains of their halted herd-hunting they still hadn't gotten around to cleaning up. He was pretty sure Diapers still harbored the hope Ichigo would change his mind and they'd go look for Prongs' family.

* * *

After careful deliberation (meaning he had picked a fight with his sword, rammed said sword through an innocent tree and duked it out with Shiro until finally settling) he had returned to Diapers to stop him dead on his tracks, canceling the search. Diapers had almost gotten angry, confused as he was and sad in behest of his furry friend. Ichigo felt relieved at this. This reaction, lacking in malice or deviousness, didn't make it seem like it was his doing. He didn't seem like the one responsible for this assault. Even if Ichigo was not a master mind-reader like several of his friends were, he considered himself a good enough body-language-reader, and even Diapers' reiatsu signal didn't leak any sort of ill intent.

Really, he would love to think this was not his doing. It would further corroborate this nonsensical idea of this kid being absolutely harmless, and that Ichigo was actually in the past and not part of some shady illusion…

(He still misses having peace of mind.)

But even if he _was_ indeed in the past, Ichigo thought as he emotionlessly stared at the _red_ dripping from his forearms, a dull ache on his arms, this child was _still Aizen Sousuke_ , and that meant he was a thousand layers of wrong and insane.

Ichigo hadn't, for one moment, trusted the child. But.

He _had_ begun to get comfortable with him. And that was not acceptable.

Because if Ichigo still couldn't determine the child's intentions, he needed to be on guard, prepared for anything to go amiss.

He had been given another shot to fix things.

He would not fail.

* * *

"Have you seen a pack of deer before?" Ichigo began his interrogation as casually as he could, as he had dragged the kid from their packed supplies once more to settle him over the fire– no, not _literally over it_ (if only) just near it– putting the grumpy other in charge of cooking (charcoaling) some meat.

Diapers stared sullenly at him. "No, and now I won't even see Prongs' family because you don't let me." Seeing how Ichigo didn't seem about to answer his taunt, he pouted before following up. "Why won't you?"

"That meat is yours." Ichigo commented blithely, making the kid jump and realize he had completely burnt the meat to a black charcoal. Diapers whimpered softly, making stupid Prongs ignore even the fire to nuzzle against him. The kid smiled briefly before pushing him away (Ichigo glared again at the stag as even that kid had more sense than him). Still, his fingers lingered where he had touched the creature, eyes distant.

"You don't really like him; so why can't we look for his family?"

For no particular reason, his words came like broken fragments, jarring and shrill. Ichigo just stared ahead as he assimilated Diapers phrasing.

'We'.

He had begun talking like it was a given they'd go together.

A big part of him called him an idiot and reminded him that they had already _planned_ on going together, that this made no sense that he was overreacting. A small disgusting voice sneered at how naïve and stupid the kid was to just assume Ichigo would want to do anything with him.

"I don't think it's worth it." Ichigo said, not really paying attention to what he was saying. "And besides, wouldn't you be happier if that thing got stuck with you?"

There was silence so Ichigo refocused to stare at him. Diapers looked surprised as he looked at the animal and back to Ichigo, with a falling face.

"I… I would love if Prongs could stay with us." Diapers confessed in a soft voice even as the little 'us' echoed in Ichigo's mind as annoying as before. "But I don't really think Prongs would like that."

"You'd rather him leave you?"

"I'd rather him be happy." Diapers said with a little frown, just before biting his lip and looking away from either of them. "I'd like it if he could be happy with us, though. But I know that can't be. There's no way."

"Why do you say that?"

"Why wouldn't it be true? I don't speak his language. I am not his family. If not for the food, he wouldn't want to stay with me."

Ichigo really, _really_ wanted to believe him. Because that was just so much easier.

(But missions weren't supposed to be easy. They just needed to be executed to perfection.)

"You said he liked you, the other day." Ichigo tried. The kid only looked more miserable.

"Shinigami-san," he had started, gripping his left wrist with his right hand, staring at the floor. "You know what I meant."

"So you wouldn't-" Ichigo hesitated. He pulled a face before he simply started over. Without an apology or even acknowledging his pain at all, he simply changed the subject. "I don't think it's safe out there right now."

He would not ask the child if he would commit murder. That was too direct, too I'm-onto-you, that if it was _true_ , Aizen would be getting a heads up he doesn't really need or deserve.

"Why not?"

Ichigo contemplated forsaken dirt-colored eyes. He could still ask about this, however. "I've felt the presence of a hollow. Have you?"

Diapers suddenly looked scared. "A hollow? Here? Shinigami, but we- we're safe, right? You can defeat it, right?" The child said, looking at him like Ichigo was his only hope in a cruel and scary world he did not understand.

Ichigo's protective instincts were suddenly on overdrive. "Of course I can. Nothing will happen to you if you stick to me. I will protect you."

No.

He did not want to say those things to him.

He did not deserve them.

But foremost…

He did not want them to become a lie too. He did not want to leave another promise broken, unfinished.

At his hands.

* * *

In the end, Ichigo had ordered Diapers to pick up their camp and they relocated further away from the corpses, and (fortunately) back into warmer grounds. To Diapers he simply lied that they were going away from where he had last seen the hollow and the kid followed without complaints. And where Diapers went, Prongs followed.

Once they were all settled, he assured Diapers that no one was going to come get him (yet), and he returned to the murder scene.

Already, the reishi particles of the bodies were being assimilated to their surroundings, the blood all but gone at this point. In a couple hours more, there would be no sign that anything had happened at all.

Which still left the Hollow.

At this point in time there was no way Aizen had developed jack-shit regarding stronger, or hybrid Hollows. At least nothing Ichigo couldn't deal with. He was pretty sure the Hogyouku began to exist a century or two after this point.

So if worse came to worse, he could easily eliminate both the hollows and Aizen from existence.

Ichigo picked up incoming reiatsu and he immediately blended in with the shadows with a quick flick of Zangetsu. In less than five seconds, his own viscous reiatsu enveloped his figure, stealing away all color and form from his body until he was nothing more than a shadow.

"…that the Shihoins are responsible of guarding this side of the woods, but really. If there's evidence, we need to report to the Twelfth? Make 'em come, as well! I dun wanna- ew, what is this?" A female's voice had been chattering nonstop way before she even came into view, her bossy attitude immediately changing into repulse. "I am not touching anything here."

"Oh, yes you are." Another male voice said, as he stepped up besides her, with his expression as flat as his voice. He handed some bags to her. "In fact, here. You go first."

"What? Oh, come on, leader, don't be like this." The chatty girl pouted, not heeding the items handed to her until the other guy just dumped it all on her.

"Consider it a free lesson. Don't complain about the mission during the whole mission. Besides, if you want to get nit-picky, this is a joint effort between both Divisions."

Another male walked into the picture, ignoring the girl as if used to her behavior. He twirled something small in his hands. "Are we going to bag a whole body? What sorta samples the Twelfth needs?"

"A sketch of the scene. Fuuka is already working on it. Reishi particles of the fallen. If we can bring in a whole body that would be ideal. Choose a mangled one and stop its degradation. Then you can bag it. Get busy!"

The rest of the team got to work, scrambling all over the place, missing Ichigo by merely centimeters. He really should have climbed the tree before they came into view, he was sure that if he tried that now they'd get pretty suspicious about the noises.

"These marks on the ground… I'd say it's the same hollow that has been giving trouble lately."

"If it's true, then we have bad news. It's getting stronger."

"Yikes, that doesn't sound good. But even if it's a strong hollow it still is only one. We can deal with it, right leader?"

"Don't go getting cocky. Hollows can be problematic, if they have some sort of ability. But anyway, fighting this hollow is a task for the upper-seated guys. We're just the errand boys. And girls, yes I'm sorry, Kyoko-san. Anything amiss be sure to report it, please."

"Retrieval complete. Ready to depart!"

"Perfect. Let us go, then."

.

Second Division and Twelfth, huh?

They hadn't said much of importance, other than inform Ichigo that this was a known hollow. Who probably liked to dine and dash; it exasperated Ichigo to think that it hadn't even been really hunted down. He just hoped it hadn't caused any actual deaths. The shadow behind a tree sighed, he would love to get his hands on whatever information they had on this hollow– to corroborate or deny his terrifying hypothesis that this was all Aizen's plan.

"D'you reckon I can steal it?" Ichigo asked out loud to Zangetsu, thinking of infiltrating to the Twelfth's barracks for the information.

' _I wouldn't recommend it. There are probably hundreds of reports just of today. I know we can easily bypass the Shinigami, but it's too bothersome and risky just for a paper that will probably tell us nothing we can't figure out by ourselves.'_

"… So, we just wait then." Ichigo mumbled, not at all content with the idea. He glanced at the once-bloody scene and prepared himself to leave. He had no trouble going over to Hueco Mundo but he had no way of determining who was the one responsible. He was already stepping out of the shadows, his extended foot gaining color and texture when three alarming signals burst into his senses like firecrackers and the World Savior retracted himself so abruptly he stumbled against a tree and almost fell back on his butt.

Invisible arms braced against the bark of the tree, his heart beat in an accelerated pace as Not-Yoruichi, Not-Kisuke and Not-Tessai came crashing in, looking like normal tiny people, shoving each other as they laughed and bickered over who won their little race– which ended in an impishly grinning Yoruichi in first place, a smiling Tessai in second and a sulking Kisuke in third place.

Ichigo's heart went from beating a mile per hour to constraining painfully. He decided to ignore the burn of memories for a moment as he drank in the sight of these almost-teens joking with each other.

"See? I told you we should've come before, there's basically nothing left!" Kisuke was exclaiming, still pouting for being last and Yoruichi was quick to smack him over the head.

"Yeah, and be nagged at by whoever was sent to gather samples, or worse. My mom." She said as she assessed the grounds. "Besides, I can sneak out the report once the retrieval team hands it in. But I wanted to see the scene. Tessai, you remember the claw marks of the other day, don'tcha?"

"Yes, I do." The gangly teen –taller than the other two and already all awkward angles and long limbs, halfway into teenagehood– stepped towards the three-toed mark on the ground to inspect it closely. "I'd say it is the same. Mighty sharp claws too. I wouldn't like to be its prey."

"Yeah, poor animals. By the way, Tessai, remember what was the last kill?" Kisuke asked his friend as he inspected the dead body of a stag with mild curiosity.

"It was a Rukongai soul, I-" Tessai suddenly went quiet, prompting his friends to look at him and ask. The teen ignored them as he turned his head this way and that, as if sensing a presence. Ichigo cursed himself for reacting at his words and immediately averted his gaze and prayed that they wouldn't try to come close to his tree. "Hmm, sorry. I thought I had heard something. Must have been the wind… but yeah. A man wandered too far out and alongside there were a couple… dead animals." Tessai looked conflicted as he looked around. "If it's really the same… wow, it must have grown so much bigger. Unless- "

"It was more than one hollow, but the claw marks all match to a single print. Not likely." Kisuke finished, silver eyes distant as he inspected a fallen tree. "Certainly not good news."

"So how about we leave it at that?" Tessai asked rather dispiritedly, probably knowing the request would fall on deaf ears. Yoruichi openly laughed.

"Nah! This is fun! Besides, if we keep scouting we might see the carrot-haired warrior. So you know, two birds with one stone."

Ichigo stiffened, not sure if frightened or offended. Probably both. He scowled but refrained from retaliating against his sword as _Shiro_ roared with laughter.

"How do you think we could draw him here?" Kisuke asked distractedly, hand on his chin.

"With food? Do you think Kon would like some roasted beef?"

Kisuke looked at Yoruichi blandly. "I meant the thing we're actually supposed to capture. The hollow. Also, clearly beef would attract just about anything _but_ Kon-san. I'd try- "

Ichigo fortunately didn't get to hear whatever Mr. Certified Genius came up with as they all fell silent. A howl sounded, close-by and immediately all joking was abandoned.

"Tessai, you know the drill. Protect Yoruichi-dono." Kisuke muttered as they regrouped, the girl stuck in the middle.

"Protect yourselves, too. Dumbass." The dark-skinned girl muttered even as she scanned her surroundings. "Probably just a wolf. But I think we should probably head out. Mom's gonna ask for me anyway, soon enough."

"I think that is sensible-" Tessai began but then a four-legged creature popped from the bushes, snarling at them. For one alarming second, Ichigo thought it was Starrk –which meant everything would be going to shit if he didn't intervene _right now–_ but he focused on its small size and brown and furry hide and he almost sagged with relief. Ichigo still had Zangetsu ready to strike if that fucking mutt dared to touch his-

"Yoruichi-dono." Tessai asked, and with a little gasp of realization the girl shunpo-ed away, closely followed by the other two. Ichigo waited two heart-beats before letting the shadows release him, prompting the wolf to snarl at him instead. Irritated, Ichigo returned the growl releasing just a bit of Hollow and in an instant, the creature was running away, tail tucked under his legs.

They were going to _get it._ Ichigo snarled at the empty air. How fucking dare they venture out into the danger with no weapons? Next time he caught them, he would-

"Look, no. Just… I'm just going to return to Diapers, and fuck everything else. I know it won't be wise to just pop up and berate them about this."

' _Ya'd gain instant creepo-stalker status,'_ Shiro helpfully added, making Ichigo sigh. ' _Oh, relax. Kids're safe and all, and ya didn't bust into the Shihoin compound. Everything's alright, no?'_

"Completely unnecessary." Ichigo replied blithely. He sighed again. "We didn't even speak and I'm still aggravated by the Three Musketeers, or whatever the fuck they're trying to be. I'm going back."

* * *

"What'cha doing?" Ichigo asked, as always amused of scaring the living lights out of Diapers as he once more popped up unannounced. His amusement dimmed as Prongs merely stared at him, just a tad suspiciously. He was going to gut him just out of spite one of these days.

Diapers pouted. "Stop scaring me like that!" But before Ichigo could reply to that, he turned to pat Prongs on the neck making the animal lean into him. "I've been trying to teach Prongs some tricks!"

"Oh really." Ichigo intoned monotonously.

"Yes! He's not stupid, Shinigami-san!" The kid exclaimed reading Ichigo's thoughts right off his face. He huffed when Ichigo's demeanor did not shift.

"That's _highly_ debatable."

"Really! Let me show you, shingami-san!" Diapers announced grandiosely. He separated from the stag to search for a little stump of a stick which he wiggled in the stag's line of sight (Ichigo entertained the thought of what would happen if he accidentally stabbed the creature in the eye). "Prongs! Here's the stick, go get it!" The kid turned and threw it with all his might. To his credit, the animal sped away in the direction of the fallen stick (which, with Ichigo's training, had been thrown decently far). Ichigo was reluctantly impressed for half a second before his mind assimilated the red stripes on Diaper's face when he had turned.

Ichigo frowned. He stalked forward and yanked the chin of the startled kid towards him and he assessed the long and superficial gashes on his cheek. "I oughta kill that animal." He mumbled irritably, knowing this was the best course of action, rolling his eyes as Diapers immediately tried to defend the creature, saying it had been an accident. Missing how his shoulders seized in fear.

"Yeah, an accident that drew blood. That creature doesn't understand jack-shit and really, it would be better off dead. I don't know why that one had to be the one to survive. You can pick up another orphan animal later." Ichigo said blandly– thinking that just a bandage would be enough, or maybe not even that, he'd have to decide once the wound was clean– unsheathing his sword and trying to shrug off the kid without breaking his arms.

"No! Shinigami-san, p-please! He's not dumb! He's just y-young! He-he'll behave! It won't happen _again! Shinigami-san_!" He cried, voice shrill and panicked, aware that Prongs would be decapitated in no time and there was precious little he could do about it. " _Please don't kill him_!" He pleaded, voice drilling into his mind past any other thought of the ridiculously endangering creature.

 _No! Don't kill him! I'll do- I'll do it… just don't… don't kill him, p-please._

As if an ice hammer had been slammed into his head, he was stopped on his tracks as Ishida's pleas were brought up from the deepest pits of the hell of what Aizen had done to them. To Chad. To Ishida.

Broken.

They were broken (too).

Ichigo felt like he was choking, like he was underwater. He shuddered violently, doing his best to come to his senses.

Shiro roared in his mind, his image coming to the forefront, pushing those memories aside. ' _Focus, ya dumbass! Yer sad and shit, but yer about to murder the child if you don't stop!'_

Ichigo's frame deflated. He was being an idiot and totally counterproductive. He had been ticked off by the stupid creature, worried it was Aizen's plaything (just like him), and also worrying the wild creature could jeopardize his charge's health. But killing the child's pet in front of said child was guaranteed to be worse than some small flesh wounds. Also, the kid could eternally antagonize him over this, depending on how attached he had grown to the animal.

"Sorry, kid." He said abruptly almost tearing the words out of his mouth. His crying stopped briefly, Diapers holding his breath in order to hear the verdict. "I'm not killing it- uh, I'm not killing Prongs."

The kid buried his crying face on his robes. "P-promise?"

"Yes, I'm sorry. I overreacted."

"You will l-leave Prongs alone?"

"Yes, kid, you have my word."

Diapers then let go of his sword hand, deciding instead to cling to Ichigo's back, fisting the black cloth in two chubby hands, crying inconsolably into his back. The World Savior was left to awkwardly stand there, guilty and uncomfortable.

Until the kid had cried himself into calmness did Ichigo consider that maybe he should have dragged the kid into his arms, or said something to console him. It was too late anyway. He couldn't help but be surprised by the fact that the kid had gotten so emotionally attached to a creature that he had met so little ago.

Suddenly, he was pulled out of his thoughts by the child sniffling, most likely wiping his snot on Ichigo before inquiring. "Why… why did you say that, something about the one to survive?"

Once more, belatedly he realized he shouldn't have said that. "Nothing, kid. Forget it."

"You couldn't… you couldn't have found his family…right?"

Ichigo was meaning to lie, but he couldn't help to say, "I'm sorry, kid."

"Wha-what happened?"

"I'm not sure." Keep it vague. Don't reveal much.

"Was-was that why you didn't want to go look? You had already found his family?"

"Uh- "

"Was it the hollow you mentioned?"

Ichigo did his best to keep his composure and not give himself away. "Like I said. I don't know. I wasn't there so I don't know what happened. So unless you know something I don't you'd better drop it."

This successfully quietened down the kid and the orange-head frowned,

"How'd you find this animal, anyway?"

"I was collecting berries when he jumped at me. He wanted the food, but Prongs is very polite so once I told him those were mine, he stopped. But I liked him so I offered him food."

"And he simply decided to follow you then?"

"Yes."

Ichigo wasn't sure if to believe him. "And what made you think it was a hollow? What killed his family? Did you sense something?"

Diapers fisted the cloth under his hands. "B-because you told me you had seen a hollow, and then you found Prong's…family."

"Really?" Ichigo said, trying to bait the kid. "When did I say that?"

"E-eh?"

"When did I mention the hollow?"

"You- you told me, shingami-san. Did you forget?"

"Ah, that's right. Sorry, my thoughts are all over the place today. How did it look like? Remember?"

"I don't… Shinigami-san you didn't tell me. Or-or did you? I'm sorry! I don't remember!"

"It's fine, kid. It was a big hollow, three-toed and heavy, remember?"

"I-I don't…"

"Really? Then maybe I forgot to tell you." Ichigo lied easily, sensing how tension slowly left his charge.

"I don't think you did. I don't remember that."

Ichigo looked up at the sky.

' _If only I could believe you._ '

* * *

Ichigo was sure he was having a meltdown, probably, because he hadn't been able to ignore the sound of a crying child ever since his latest flashback. But he didn't have time to elucidate what was going on with himself because he still needed to take care of the situation at hand. He had stopped interrogating the child to take a good look at his injuries. They were pretty superficial, to be honest. It was alright to leave them be, just making sure to remain clean.

The red-eyed kid had stayed in a quiet mood, probably still scared of what had almost happened. Ichigo thought that to be the case at least, as the kid didn't let Prongs go out of his reach.

To give them both some peace of mind, The World Savior stepped away from the two he had almost (intentionally) murdered to crouch, looking outwards. Standing guard.

"Shinigami-san? What are you doing?"

"Making sure nothing comes." He mumbled, voice drained.

"…Do you sense anything?"

"No."

"Oh."

Silence.

"Shinigami-san?"

"What?"

"…Are you going to protect us?"

Ichigo felt sick in the stomach as the crying child in his mind wailed even louder. "I'll do my best."

The kid fell silent again. He turned away from Ichigo to embrace the dull-looking Prongs. "Don't worry, Prongs. I- we will protect you." He mumbled, loud enough for Ichigo to hear.

Ichigo sighed.

Nothing was ever easy in his life.

To be continued

* * *

AN.

I got the impression this was filler-ish. But, if this is going to be slightly slice-of-life, then of course some chapters might seem filler-ish for me. They still should be entertaining tho! Do tell me if I start getting boring! I'm not too familiar writing with day-to-days.

I'm feeling sorry for Ichigo again, damn. Things should be looking up soon enough. Maybe. I don't know.

* * *

 **BTW. IMPORTANT NOTICE.**

* * *

As you probably know, several strong hurricanes have been hitting Mexico, the USA and neighboring countries. And there's also the two earthquakes that hit Mexico last month.

Mexico is doing its best, we are joining together to support one another, but several states are still in need of help, so if you could spare a dollar or two to donate it would be deeply appreciated.

Also the US has been hit by fires and hurricanes alike in the past months, so we should also help them if its within our capacities. I know I have plenty of US readers, so please stay strong, we do think of you.

Both places can be helped via the Red Cross. American Red Cross & Cruz Roja Mexicana. You can google both organizations.

And who was absolutely devastated by hurricanes this season, I'm hearing is Puerto Rico. They are having an humanitarian crisis, with widespread power outages, a lack of phone or Internet service, damaged buildings, and flooding that is hampering recovery efforts.

#UnidosPorPR #UnitedForPR #MariaPR #PrayForPuertoRico

You can donate here: : / / w w w . . c o m

If the link gets erased just google united for puerto rico.

Thank you very much for being my readers.


	11. Chapter 11

I really don't know what has come over me, so many updates? Am I insane?

Croix de l'Chrysalis

by

Raining Sky Guy

* * *

Ichigo was pretty confident in his reiatsu-reading abilities. Ever since his real heritage and power had been released, he had become adept at reading and detecting even the smallest nuances and variations in one's reiatsu. Not to mention the blaring and obnoxious signal of a mere Gillian-class hollow. That's why he was pretty certain that there had been no hollows after their trail.

Which is something Diapers couldn't fully believe. Instead of dilly-dallying a good portion of the day, Diapers continued strongly with his karate and he began carrying a stick around in a sick copy of Ichigo's sword.

As Ichigo finished preparing the pieces of wood into perfect timber for the following nights, he saw how the ridiculous kid consistently reassured the blank-eyed stag that everything would be alright, that he wouldn't be found by the hollow and that they'd protect him from anything.

For Ichigo this was beyond bizarre. He had decided to let the kid do whatever he pleased, as long as it did not annoy him too much, but the kid had the same fanatic frenzy as the tinfoil-hat people. Crazy. Well, maybe not so much, just overly worried.

Whenever the animal strayed from them or tried venturing a little more into the woods, the child would spring into action, yelling after Prongs, calling him back eyes darting from place to place, stick trembling in his grasp. He'd rear the stupid animal back towards safety and made Ichigo promise again he'd protect them from the hollow.

"But Dia-kid. I promise you there has not been any hollows in the vicinities."

"But-but what if you missed one? What if it snuck up on us or is just waiting?"

"I don't think that's the case." The World Savior sighed yet again, knowing that it would fall on deaf ears. And as expected, the boy shot him a worried look, before crowding closer to Prongs while staying on the lookout.

Ichigo considered changing his nickname from Diapers to Tinfoil. But no, the other one was more of a mouthful.

* * *

Ichigo stopped on his tracks, sighed to himself and turned around abruptly, startling the kid and the animal. He breathed in to settle his temper and stated, "I need to get some water." And he began to walk away again.

"Okay." Diapers said, still trailing behind Ichigo like a lost duckling.

Ichigo felt a vein pulsing harshly in his neck. "And it's my alone time."

"Shinigami-san! " Diapers exclaimed, scandalized. "We can't do that while there's a loose hollow nearby! What if it attacks us! What if he harms Prongs?!"

Ichigo sighed.

* * *

He sighed again as he filled a hollowed-out trunk of a young tree with water, while Prongs and Diapers splashed on the shallow river by his side.

…

Those names sucked.

His fake alias even more.

Ichigo scowled at nothing in particular as he thought about the unfortunate names they all three had.

(At least like this, the crying child had been pushed away, hidden from his mind.)

* * *

While yes, the kid was absolutely crazy with trying to protect a weird animal from a hollow that wasn't even there and insisting that Ichigo protect them both, when Ichigo drew his sword for his routinely practice, he sensed more than saw the kid jolting to his feet, little hands going to grab the animal's fur almost fiercely. Ichigo did not move for a moment, as he wondered what would the kid's reaction be, but after a moment of inactivity he reluctantly sheathed his sword again. "I'm gonna train. Be right back." He added as Diapers hesitated between keeping Prongs away from Ichigo and keeping Ichigo close to protect Prongs. With those words, the kid nodded silently and Ichigo couldn't help but wonder if they weren't all just mad in the head.

* * *

Ichigo built a barricade big enough for a child and a stag –which consistent on trees taller than Ichigo torn from the root which formed a very simple try at a hut which Ichigo knew was absolutely pointless but the kid seemed reassured by it– for the neurotic other before he was allowed to depart alone. He had been meaning to find the three gremlins to nag at them and make sure they'd bring along any sort of weapon at any given moment (he hadn't been able to stop thinking about them ever since he had seen them almost being cornered by a wolf). Ichigo was sure they'd get on his nerves and he'd regret ever deciding to seek them out but… he had to do it.

Warily, he strayed from Diaper's direction for about half an hour, getting closer to Rukongai, where he dropped to the ground and started walking. He wanted it to be as casual as possible, so he spiked his reiatsu in quick, strong bursts to lure them in and he kept walking towards Rukongai.

During those minutes he walked alone, he decided to think of what Kisuke might have done to deliver his message subtly. He wondered briefly what would he do if this lure dragged not only the three gremlins, but also the whole Shihoin compound on his ass. He knew they were looking for strong reiatsu outputs, but he didn't know if they even had any sort of evidence from his previous mishap. If that was the case, he was probably in trouble. As he finally sensed their incoming reiatsu, he suppressed his natural fleeing instinct, ignored the ache in his heart and briefly considered that having cunning friends did have its perks.

He wasn't sure if it was creepy or relieving that they could find him with just that.

As Ichigo stared into scheming golden eyes, he decided it was creepy and nothing else.

Ichigo scowled, and tried to walk past them. "For god's sake, don't start. I'm tired and just want today to be over. Don't follow me." He said, making the three curious teens trail behind him like little ducklings. Ichigo glanced at them once, rolled his eyes and proceeded with his walk– making sure to stamp his feet a little to demonstrate his irritation.

"What have you been doing, Kon-san?" Not-Yoruichi chirped by his side. Ichigo didn't even attempt to look at her, he grumbled under his breath.

"Again with the first name, you disrespectful brats?"

"Then, what have you been doing, Shirosaki-san?"

 _Had he really gone with Shirosaki? He was a royal idiot.  
_

"Stuff." He grunted, trying not to think on his wounded pride.

"Like what? Also are you going back to your barracks? Can we tag along? We have passes into Seireitei so don't worry about it."

"I'm not done. I'm just going to the market for some things I need before continuing so you better let me be." Ichigo made a lie on the spot, much to his own surprise. Even more surprisingly it was a plausible lie and made sense. Kisuke would be so proud.

"What things? Why not a seller inside Seireitei?"

"That is none of your business, I believe," Ichigo replied lightly. He scanned his surroundings, as he plowed his way through the worst section of Rukongai, hoping some luck would shine on him and sure enough some low-life appeared at the perfect timing, running away at a mad dash, a container of water in his arms. The man zipped right past them, Ichigo barely even stepping aside but the other three…

Shrewd ochre eyes looked over their defensive formation, again with Yoruichi in the center. Tsukabishi stood his ground in front while Kisuke covered the rear with a pale face. Ichigo pretended to notice for the first time.

"Oi," He barked, making them all jump. "You brats _can_ defend yourselves, right? You're always wandering alone, annoying strangers so I assumed you did but… you don't even carry weapons do you?"

"We aren't permitted Asauchi yet." Not-Kisuke answered maybe a little too fast. Ichigo was too busy showing his utter disdain on his deformed face.

"So what? Is that what you're going to tell whoever tries to kill you? 'Oh, sorry, I can't fight you, I am not armed. Go on ahead'?"

"We are not completely unarmed. We do know taijutsu, and more kidou than the average student." Te- Not-Tessai answered first, hands clasped in front of him as if about to deliver a speech. Ichigo was still unimpressed.

"All three of you master Kidou?"

"Each to our own level, but I'd dare say that yes, we do." Not-Tessai answered rather diplomatically, making Ichigo squint at the teenager suspiciously before he grinned a little mischievously. "Although, I suppose I am the best out of the three."

Ichigo huffed as all show of amusement, staring at them for a while longer as he waited if they had something else to add. "I am not satisfied. Kidou's cool and everything but if you need to parry an attack, there's a bigger chance you'd survive with a blade in your hands than with a counter-attack with Kidou." Here he paused, expression dubious. "Hasn't anyone said anything to you? They're all alright with you just wandering about without weapons?"

"Well technically, we're still children so carrying weapons is…"

"Again, your logic is flawed." Ichigo stated, voice dry. "Being children won't spare you. If you're going to wander out, you gotta be prepared."

The two young men shared a look before Tessai continued. "I get your point. And you're probably right and all, but… what is it to you?"

Ichigo blinked. "You're joking, right?" He hashed, trying not to think of who these people were- had been to him. "D'you think I don't have morals or something? I can't see three reckless brats harassing potentially dangerous people and just let it slide. You're gonna get yourself killed at some point. If you're with me, I can protect you from anything, and I bet your family can as well but, if you ever find yourself alone then what? If you can't fend for yourselves, you are dead."

Fear began creeping up inside Ichigo, showing too much concern, trying to reassure them that no harm would come to them. He had promised them. He had come back. He would…

(Ichigo calmed his beating heart. He needed to focus.)

"I think… I think you made very valid points. Although, I think a good mastery of Kidou can be much more useful than you probably think." Tessai said with a glint in his eyes that Ichigo could appreciate. He somehow missed how silver eyes assessed him with childish delight.

"Good that we agree," The War Hero intoned in a flat tone before he added, "so, short blade or long blade?"

Yoruichi stared at him as if gauging him, "I already carry a knife." She said plainly, making both of her friends stiffen notoriously and shoot her an alarmed look.

Ichigo frowned in confusion. "You do? You just told me…"

And then Yoruichi was reaching under her clothes, and Ichigo was just about to tear her a new one when there was steel coming at him. Slow but sudden, Ichigo almost stumbled as he stepped aside away from-

A jumping Yoruichi, holding a knife as long as her arm like a stinging animal. Her eyes were still narrowed but slowly came to realize he was no longer there before she even landed. He would be awfully amused if not for the quiet unease of her friends.

Scowling, Ichigo stepped up to her and smacked her over the head. Yoruichi looked back at him, golden eyes indignant and her lackeys looked wary but Ichigo didn't pay them any mind.

"If my hunch is correct, you just showed me a secret weapon for no fucking good reason. What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"A-ah, Kon-san, did you know that you could go to jail for hitting the Shihoin heir?" The blond teen was quick to stammer, trying to defuse the growing tension. Ichigo glanced at him blandly, before returning his focus to an innocent seeming Yoruichi.

"Damn, and here I wanted to catch you off guard for once." She pouted, not jumping into the petty rage like the previous times, after being unable to hit him once more. Ichigo wasn't sure what her intentions were, as probably neither did her friends and Ichigo was worried and exasperated.

He looked at her again and was relieved that at least she had hidden the weapon again. He sighed, rubbing the broken bridge of his nose. "Okay, come here. I need to talk to you, somewhere less crowded." He looked up when they all tensed up. "See? _Those_ are good, rational reactions. Why can't you be like that all the time?" He grumbled as he took off in his own and sure enough, the other three trailed behind him like naïve, clueless kids.

* * *

Once in a less crowded area, Ichigo crossed his arms, staring at the Heiress. "You owe your friends an apology, I think. Whatever you did made them uneasy. I don't really have any authority over you, but I assume you were doing something that endangered you." He paused. "That endangered you _more_ than trying to knee a soldier of the Gotei. I'm guessing that knife is your last resort if anything were to happen to you, so I don't know what possibly possessed you to pull that out in broad daylight, but just… don't endanger yourself unnecessarily. And by that I am including all your interactions with me, like are you blind?

"Anyway, I want to tell you that besides stupid, what you did was absolutely pointless and if you ever find yourself in a situation where you need that knife, absolutely do not do what you did right now." Ichigo said, barely breathing between words, showcasing his worry and annoyance with clarity. The other kids seemed to want to input something, but he scowled at them and continued, "shut up and listen. Because you're slow and that motion leaves you wide open for anyone to stab you before you manage to land a hit."

He bulldozed over young Yoruichi's indignant expression. "Think about your abilities. Ignore your potential right now. Always, when you make an escape plan, think about your current abilities not something stupid like when I grow faster or stronger I'll do this or that. That is garbage. You're lithe, and you _are_ somewhat fast. I fucking hope you know how to wield your oversized knife in something other than a useless stab, because it can come in handy." He paused at seeing her indignation and anger increasing and Ichigo almost sneered at her. "You pointed that at me. And I'm worried if you try that at someone less noble than me, you'll die. So suck up your useless pride and listen to me."

The little woman squared her shoulders and threw him a haughty look which didn't faze him in the slightest. He was ready for them to leave, prides hurt and stuff, so he was surprised when Kisuke scuffled to grab his friend's wrist as if to restrain her as he inquired in a meek tone he had never heard on him.

"Um, then what would you like to tell us?" As Ichigo blinked stupidly, the teen added, "I mean, you brought us here to tell us something, right? How would that help us?"

Ichigo's mind drew a blank for a solid minute, He finally coughed into his fist, awkward. "Okay, then. Might as well, " he mumbled to himself as he breathed in to settle his unease but knowing that this was for the best.

And so Ichigo proceeded to talk them into a hypothetic situation where Yoruichi was alone and captured. He probably scared the kids, but he continued with unapologetic aplomb. The girl looked close to tears (of indignation or anger, he wasn't sure) but decided to listen to Ichigo, thankfully.

The key was to distract the harasser while Yoruichi maneuvered behind them, to unbind herself if she was bound with physical objects and drawing her knife stealthily. Not to strike directly. She wasn't fast enough. But to protect herself if _–when–_ the other, faster one sensed her motions and attempted to strike her.

She wasn't happy with this situation where someone was faster than her, and had captured her despite her and her friends' prowess, but Ichigo was undeterred.

"And you two, help your Princess get some good lessons on her knife. Just having it is of no use if she can't wield it. I know she's very skilled, but it will be better off. Even, if she gets faster, she might be able to use it to snap her captor's tendons and she'll gain precious minutes of advantage."

"I think it's… practical, although certainly macabre, but wouldn't you be more suitable to teach this?" Not-Kisuke was the first to speak, looking subdued and still clinging to Yoruichi's wrist, as Ichigo descended into abrupt silence, running out of things to say.

Ichigo snapped to attention, realizing he had just done that exactly and got angry at himself. He could not afford to act like this. He did not know their intentions but he didn't even have time to teach them, given that he had Diapers to take care of.

"Hell no. This is just a one-time thing to make sure I won't feel guilty if you jump someone and die in the process. I'm busy, leave me alone." He basically spat out, taking several steps away from the teens and totally bent on disappearing for a hundred more years.

"Wait!" Tsukabishi almost yelled, making Ichigo falter out of sheer surprise. He looked at the gangly kid, alarmed but there didn't seem to be anything off. "Please, just… I mean… thank you. Thank you for your advice."

All three of them stared at him in surprise, but Ichigo didn't have any words or any way of making them move beyond the knot in his throat. The man gave one step back, drawing their attention and before they could say anything else he was gone.

 _Him_?

Teaching _them_?

How ludicrous.

* * *

Laconic, the War Hero kept repeatedly stabbing a patch of grass in silence. He had absconded once more from everything and everyone, feeling so tired even his swords kept in a companionable silence.

His life had always been just one big joke. He'd always been the one weird kid growing up, only him, not his sisters. He had been the only one to be born with outrageous colored hair, which made everyone think he was just some delinquent despite his grades. He had gotten in trouble with the Yakuza, which oddly resulted in him working for them for a while.

He had loved his mother like no one else, and had been the one to get her killed. He had saved Chad and later figured out it had been all his fault in the first place. He trained himself to be able to protect his sisters and had ended up putting them in danger. He had been thrust into the supernatural, doing his best to protect his family only to find out, in the last moments that his _father_ had been in the known, had belonged to this otherworldly side _and said nothing._

And then he had met the man who would destroy everything and he informed Ichigo that his conception, down to every decision he had ever taken, everything that had ever happened… had been part of his plan. And yeah, maybe the megalomaniac was just rambling, but if this man hadn't decided to play god, Ichigo really would not have been born.

Everything seemed to be wanting to fall apart. Everything Ichigo did, or tried to do… why did it always end up wrong?

He had sworn he would protect his mother.

He had pledged on blood he would protect his sisters.

He had stared into violet eyes and decided he would do whatever it took to make her proud, to protect her innocence, to save her life.

He had gotten so much stronger to keep his promises, all of them, to protect them and all of his friends and acquaintances.

And he had failed every single one of them.

And now life or whatever macabre god was really up there had decided to continue using Ichigo like a plaything, tossing him back in time making him protect the man he swore to kill. And fearing to trust those he had held dear.

Ichigo would like to speak to whoever was messing with him and tell them to shove it.

He was done and tired of breaking his promises. He was so afraid he was unable to promise something. And even more so, to protect anyone.

He was scared of what might befall the Three Musketeers should they continue assuaging Ichigo and he feared that one day, he would cave in.

(The child continued to cry.)

* * *

When Zangetsu finally managed to kick his butt into motion and send him back to Diaper's side, he was already prepared, but still couldn't finish tucking away the sadness. He secretly appeared, reiatsu reigned in, as he sought the little pinprick – who was apparently talking to the dumb animal while he leaned against its hide.

"…then I would let myself get tagged, because I wanted to, obviously! And I chased them around! Tamaki was always so clumsy; he was too easy to get to. But I didn't always go for him first, I didn't want to be mean, and, haha! That tickles, Prongs!" The kid paused as the stag nuzzled against his cheek briefly, snorting into his face before continuing on just staring at him as if actually paying attention. Diapers looked at it, his smile dimming lightly. "It was fun. I really liked being with them. I didn't mean to… I didn't do anything; it wasn't…" The kid shook his head, raising a determined fist." No! I won't be sad! Because, because you're going to play with me now, Prongs! Right!? And and I'll ask Shinigami-san too!"

Ichigo was so surprised that when he shifted his weight he cracked a twig below him. The unsuspecting others looked back at him, and in a brief moment Diaper's face had become a vibrant shade of red.

"I…uh," Ichigo attempted to break the silence. "I'm back?" He wasn't understanding why Diapers seemed to be unable to respond, only emitting some weird sort of whine as he went even redder. For one startling moment he wondered if he was sick. "Hey…" He began again, giving a step closer. This resulted in the kid jumping in place before curling into a tight ball which Prongs was quick to prod.

Out of his depth completely, the World Savior stood there, hand outstretched stupidly, unable to say or do anything other than to stare at the curled up form of the kid. What in the name of the Soul King was going on?

"Did… did you hear me, Shinigami-san?" The kid mumbled, words barely distinguishable as he still had his face buried in his arms.

"…No?" Ichigo attempted stupidly. He rubbed the back of his head when this only made the kid tighten his hold on his knees. He briefly wondered if the kid was sick or injured. He tried remembering he was supposed to be an adult and thus should behave in kind. "Uh, are-what are you doing?"

"Nothing."

Awkward silence.

"Are… are you alright?" He tried. And this time he actually got a result. The kid raised his head in surprise, staring at him in wonder.

"Are you asking me?"

Ichigo frowned because who else could he be talking to? But apparently it was a rhetoric question since the kid didn't wait for him to answer before fidgeting in place, half-parts pleased and embarrassed.

"Yes, I'm alright, Shinigami-san." He mumbled a small smile in place. "I just… I wasn't ready to ask you… but but, what do you say?"

Ichigo was already opening his mouth to ask him what he was on about, when he realized what the kid had wanted to ask him. "You… want me to play with you?"

The kid blushed again, looking away before nodding silently. "Is it no good?" He asked as the silence stretched over them again.

"I-I don't know how to play," Ichigo stammered so out of his depth he was having trouble following the conversation. "Why do you even want to? Play with me, I mean?"

"I… Well because I like you, Shinigami-san… but-but if you don't want to it's alright, I'm sure Prongs can…" The kid glanced again at his mentor and visibly worried. "Shinigami-san? Is everything alright? Are you feeling fine?"

He was _not_ fine. Nothing of this was making sense and someone up there seemed to honestly want to make Ichigo's life one big joke.

' _And here, rational adults say 'yes, of course I'll play with you', wouldn't you agree?'_ His sword came to his rescue with his unhelpful input. Still, Ichigo clung to that thought like his life depended on it.

' _Wh-what? Why-? I don't even know how to play, Shiro!'_

"I'm fine…just… I'm too old to play those things." He said even as Shiro made fart sounds and called him names. He locked eyes with the crestfallen child and remembering his previous reactions he felt compelled to add, "but if there's anything else you'd like me to do with you, tell me about it."

This successfully shut his sword up and made Diapers smile at him with a teary expression. He hadn't said anything extravagant. It had been pretty simple.

Why did it feel like it had been a long time since he had felt like this?

* * *

So after almost an hour of the kid chasing his deer pet around, he had finally gotten around to ask Ichigo to come with him for a walk, so he could show him some things.

As the barely-an-adult Hybrid trailed behind the child, listening on to how these plants tasted good and how these others made Diapers sick, or how those were so pretty but they looked dangerous (which made him wonder if he meant poisonous). Diapers showed him how he went around looking for edible roots and offered him a couple plump caterpillars as snack (which after Ichigo refused, he proceeded to down happily). At one point he couldn't help himself, he looked away from the shiny beetle crawling up the bark of a tree to focus on Diapers –who was still entranced by the creature.

"Hey," he called him to draw his attention. "Are you really alright?"

Diapers turned to look at him, head tilted in question. "I already told you I was fine, Shinigami-san."

"But, I mean…" Ichigo looked away and almost dropped it, but for some reason Zangetsu coaxed him to continue in a soothing tone. "With what happened yesterday and everything… I thought you would be angry. Not… not showing me all of this."

"Well, it wasn't pretty, Shinigami-san. You really scared me," the kid mumbled, for some reason making Ichigo feel like he had swollen a thousand needles. "But you also promised me. That you would leave him alone. That you would protect us. And I trust your word! Also, you got angry because… because I got injured so…" But then he frowned at him with a pouty lip. "But don't do that ever again!"

"…Right." Ichigo mumbled, surprised by such enthusiasm. He looked up and noticed that the day was almost over. "Hey, kiddo, it's getting dark. Let's start heading-" At the edge of his senses he felt another person drawing close, at shunpo-speed, still sufficiently far away as to not be of concern. Or at least they shouldn't be, though there was no knowing if it was another Shihoin spy. He tried thinking back, if he had hidden his signal good enough after leaving the three gremlins, if he had been sure no one had been following him before or after his meeting (even if it broke him to think that Kisuke, Yoruichi and Tessai could sell him so easily) and then tried to remember exactly how far they were from the murder scene.

Just like last time, he reigned in his reiatsu to even lower levels and he made the kid follow him back to their camp, still aware of the darting signal. So focused was he in it that he missed how Diapers looked at him with concern as he wondered what could possibly make his mentor show such an expression.

To be continued.

* * *

 **AN.** Damn this got personal, wtf, I felt Ichigo attacking me for a moment lol.

Dear anon reviewer, I don't know who you are, but you are absolutely amazing. I wouldn't have expected anyone to analyze my story the way you did. There are so many things you got right and so many more things I was just beginning to hint at that you were spot on and then there were some speculations that went so far that it made me laugh with joy because I hadn't even thought it could be interpreted in such a way. I wish there was a way for me to get back at you, because you wrote such beautiful reviews I want to reply to each and every one of them but that in on itself would be the length of this story maybe haha. Just know (and this goes for everyone) I read all of your reviews and treasure them all, even if I rarely get back to you guys, it's a pretty hard thing to do, sadly.

Thank you so very much for staying with me over the course of this irregularly-updated story!

Is Ichigo getting better? Worse? Are the Three Musketeers doing him any good or just breaking his heart? What do you think is going to happen? Also, soon enough I want to do a time skip because wow, this is getting long. Still not sure where to place it.

Do let me know what you think in a review!


	12. Chapter 12

An update just a week later? What is this sorcery?

Croix de l'Chrysalis

by

Raining Sky Guy

* * *

Ichigo fiddled with the strand of garish orange hair that kept sticking to his face. He had never been too happy with his hair color, bringing him more trouble than it was worth, and today was no exception. Because he had finally processed the thought that he was probably the only living soul with this hair color that also lived in the forest so no matter how much he tried not to stand out, if anyone came searching for a carrot-head he'd be found in no time.

Zangetsu's mantle could work in an emergency but that thing took its time to appear, consumed his energy and if one stared at it long enough they would notice it was nothing but a shadow so dense it had a physical appearance.

He supposed he had to get a hoodie. If such things existed anyway.

* * *

Ichigo squinted at the mass of clothes presented to him by the nervous salesman. He had come out to the closest market of Rukongai he could find that didn't look too shabby and quickly found one that sold decent-looking clothes _and_ that sold cloaks, but Ichigo had soon come across a problem.

He didn't have any money.

He'd spent all of it with the glasses he had gotten for Diapers stupidly thinking he could get some more later. Right now he didn't have the favor of some noble, or the benefit of being the War Hero or any way of getting an income.

The young man scowled darkly at the clothes, as if it had personally offended him and completely oblivious to the increasing fear of the poor seller.

What could he do?

The hood wasn't indispensable. He really wasn't in desperate need of one. It was just that it would help him hide away from the Shihoins if they ever actively came for him. Which, really, was probably of great importance– no use trying to deny it– but still it was probable that he could keep using Zangetsu's cloak, he had endured far more grievous hardships and a little decrease in his reiatsu was nothing in comparison.

A small scuffle to his left drew his attention away from his dilemma, Ichigo looked at the shabby twig of a child on the floor gazing longingly at the gallon of water just out of his reach as the seller held it securely in his arms, giving him a dirty look.

Ichigo looked on blankly, as he began wondering. If souls were so desperate for water given that they could die from dehydration, why did they all scramble for some filthy water gallons if they had a couple rivers running the expanse of the several forests in their perimeter?

It didn't make any sense for him. Water had always been a problem as he had been told by basically anyone who was raised in Rukongai. Were they not aware of this? Were they all so blind to see outside? (He wouldn't put it past them to be honest.)

Ichigo left the poor seller behind as he kept mulling. It was probably a life-long ( _mere five years_ ) relationship with a certain mad scientist but Ichigo thought it could be interesting to know the reason behind this.

Both because it raised questions he'd like answered and because that might give him the opportunity to milk it for money.

* * *

It was a quick thing really. He cut down and hollowed out another dried tree, spent about five minutes at his normal shunpo-speed to reach the first river he came across, filled it with water and carefully went back to the outskirts of Rukongai.

It surprised him how he had been forced to get aggressive merely stepping in, all thirsty eyes suddenly focused on him and his prize. Not even his appearance had been able to dissuade these people –as to be expected from the lowest districts of Rukongai. Ichigo protected his cargo with snarling, (sheathed) sword-waving and sometimes some kicking. He needed the money, damn it!

He was fully immersed in his task, ready to defend himself from anyone else stupid enough to try it, but was stopped by an old woman, who begged him for some water (and barely even flinched when the startled Ichigo almost elbowed her in the face). Ichigo grimaced. He really shouldn't but… there was plenty of water, surely he could spare some (and he could always go back for more). The War Hero let the log down and allowed the woman to drink to her heart's content.

Ichigo warded off any and all possible assailants until she had had enough after which he hefted his prize again into the security of his arms and prepared to leave when the woman stopped him again with a hand cupping his arm.

"Thank you, thank you very much, young man. Thank you…" _Thank you, hero. Thank you, Saviour. Thank you, I am in your debt, young Hero._

Ichigo forced a smile before scampering off as fast as he could.

* * *

He had finally managed to get someplace people could actually pay for his water and by then he was flustered and annoyed and was vindictively thinking he could just charge a lot for the water, but of _course_ he couldn't do that staring into the thirsty people's eyes. Ichigo rolled his eyes as he accepted cheap copper coins in exchange for the valuable fluid. Next time he should just go to the upper districts to rob them blind.

At least he had been correct to guess that water was sorely needed. He saw scuffles breaking out, people trying to skip their place in the line Ichigo had barked himself hoarse for it to form. Some poor bastard had even tried stealing from him; which of course resulted in the damn brat being flipped onto his back and left the soul unable to regain his breath for a good while.

Having gained so little money he was forced to repeat his task three more times, and once he had enough, he threw the empty log at someone who had looked at him the wrong way and stormed his way towards the poor seller he had accosted the first time.

* * *

The man was startled out of his skin and looked five seconds from pissing himself as Ichigo virtually materialized from nowhere in all of his scowling glory but still let him browse through his simple display (or maybe was too scared to protest) and Ichigo found one that suited his fancy. Light, long and dark-colored. He caressed the edges, feeling it thin and even a little like it was going to come apart at the seams. But it looked sturdy overall, and not too pricey. He just wanted it to hide his hair anyway, it didn't have any other use.

This was fine.

"I'm taking this." Ichigo informed the seller, who tried regaining his bearings to his best capacity.

"A-ah, y-yes…that is…. One gold, please."

Ichigo's flat stare apparently seemed just as scary as his normal face as the man shied away. "Really? This shabby thing?" He said, almost arching an eyebrow.

"I-It's the best one I've got! I can't-can't possibly sell it for less!"

At least the man had balls.

Ichigo sighed as he began counting his copper coins.

Ichigo was short for one copper. One measly copper. Ichigo wanted to rip the hair out of his scalp –which seemed to give the other man a mini-heart attack.

"It-it's alright, sir… uh, I can- I can lower the price!" He exclaimed, hands waving wildly, clearly meaning 'so long as I never have to see you again'. Ichigo scowled at him, turning his fury towards him.

" _I will pay you the exact amount, so shut up!"_

"I-I insist!"

Ichigo huffed. Zangetsu then popped up to supply some much needed feedback with unneeded insults to his person, but Ichigo compromised.

"Alright," Ichigo finally relented, giving the whole money pouch to the other man. "Here you go. I'll pay you the last coin next time I see you."

By the look on the other man, he was pretty sure the seller would rather they never met again.

The World Savior didn't spare anything else even a glance as he went away from the crowds, the heat and the noise in one quick step, making sure that there were no nosy reiatsu after him.

* * *

He had never had to worry about being clean because if there was enough water for it, they'd all take showers whenever there was spare time –which, to be honest wasn't often, and most of it was used to eat and drink and tend to the wounded. Ichigo had gotten used to the permanent smell of blood, sweat, and showered-last-week odor, but he had made it a point not to skip on it even if he had to wipe out a third of Aizen's current battalion to get to it.

So now that there was peace, now that the megalomaniac's life was in his hands, and he didn't have to fight anything to get to the water, or to earn time to take a shower, Ichigo showered whenever he wanted, at whichever hour he pleased. He had never said anything or brought it up to Diapers, but the kid had been able to keep himself more-or-less clean by himself. He didn't exactly smell like roses, but he had never actually stunk.

Which was the main reason Ichigo stared dubiously at the muddy thing in front of him. "Shinigami-san, you're back! Oh! What is that? Did you buy it?" The kid exclaimed excitedly waddling up to him, the deer in tow.

Ichigo scowled at the mud tracks they both smeared whenever they stepped. It was all that damn animal's fault.

"…shinigami-san?" Diapers' tone changed so abruptly, the young Hero immediately zeroed in on him. "Is there something wrong?" He said, looking quite honestly, frightened. He shuffled closer to his beast, securing his hands on its hide.

"Yes, there is." Ichigo declared, scowling harder making the child flinch. Since when had this happened? Diapers had always had awful manners when eating, but he tended to clean up afterwards. Whenever he felt like it, he would go take a shower, or attempt to at least.

Big, scared brown eyes stared at him, too afraid to voice his question.

"Why are you so dirty?" Ichigo asked. The boy blinked, confused as he looked down at himself. He looked back up, smiling guiltily.

"You see! We were playing!"

Ichigo's scowl did not lessen.

Diapers stared at him, a little crestfallen before he quietly offered, "we'll go wash up, is that alright?"

Ichigo stared a while longer, feeling a little odd about the way Diapers had correctly interpreted him. He simply nodded, watching with curiosity how the kid's face brightened.

But then the child looked behind him, unsure. "Um," he began and Ichigo could already sense an incoming headache. "But… could you come with us? I… I don't want the hollow to find us … also I don't remember where exactly the river was. It was pretty far away."

Was it? Ichigo had trouble remembering. He was tired and all he wanted was to lay down, but he knew that look. He would not rest until he accompanied the muddy brat. Ichigo sighed.

* * *

Ichigo used the "bath" time to properly inspect his new purchase. It clearly was not worth the effort, and he probably should have just found a better salesman, but that was probably a bad idea. Because he might not be the brightest, and he preferred fight over manipulation, but he _had_ spent quite a few years with several masterminds and fighting the biggest jackass-puppeteer in existence. He knew that he was pretty noteworthy, abilities aside, simply because of the thrice damned scar on his face. He was pretty hard to miss, and knowing that the Shihoins were probably onto him made any and all excursion into Rukongai that much more dangerous. Let alone Seireitei. Already, having talked to the Heiress and her friends was probably putting himself in jeopardy-

Hollow.

The world stood still as Ichigo stepped outside his protective bubble, seeking out the figure of the enemy. Taken by surprise, the creature had time to lift its head before Ichigo's fist collided with its head and it blasted apart, as the hollow shrieked in pain before shortly dissolving.

Breathing raggedly even though he hadn't exerted himself at all, the Hybrid stood at attention, trying to find out another presence, another enemy, finally able to unsheathe Zangetsu. Was this an ambush? Where was everyone? Had they retreated already? Should he expect an ambush? He needed to be prepared. He raised Zangetsu, ready to unseal him. Ichigo spread his senses, his sclera darkening as his hollow instincts took over.

No, there was nothing else.

Nothing.

There never was just one hollow-

 _Trap. This was a trap._

A signal blared, incandescent and deafening at the same time to his heightened senses.

A signal so blatantly familiar it burned Ichigo's mind.

 _ **Aizen**_ **.**

Ichigo needed to regroup. He needed to find his friends, he wasn't sure what was going on, but he needed to find them so he could make sure they were safe- and didn't he need to retrieve someone else? He had been taking care of someone, hadn't he? Who-?

Tripping over his own thoughts, the World Savior was brought back from the war. Panting, the cold crisp air filled his lungs, the usual pain searing the gashes on his chest, his back, the scars coming to life and centering Ichigo.

Trembling, confused and disoriented, the War Hero retched.

* * *

"Shinigami-san! You're back! Where did you go?" Diapers exclaimed excitedly upon seeing him, looking away from the soaked ball of pronged fur. They both looked moderately cleaner, certainly mud-less, but still as drenched as if they had drowned. Ichigo's pulse still beat inside his skull, but Zangetsu's voice was finally back to cheer him on. To carry on living. The kid looked at him for a moment, noticing again the distant look on his Shinigami. Knowing he hadn't been heard, the child tried again. "Shingami-san! We're done, what about you? Are you going to clean up too?"

Ichigo blinked, focusing back on the present. "What?"

"I said that we're done! We're clean! Are you going to wash up too?" The boy repeated with the same energy as the previous times, seemingly just happy that he finally had the other's attention.

Ichigo blinked again, remembering who he was and what he was doing. "I…" He began, processing the scene. Slowly, he assimilated the sight of a mud-less drenched child who still looked as dirty as always. He was scared for one moment as an emotion surged within him in the sensible state he was in – but it was not anger, it was just annoyance. He breathed in. Out. "The fuck you think you're doing?"

"Eh?"

"'Clean', my ass. You better wash up properly or else, brat." Ichigo felt weird saying those words, such a mundane thing. But now that it had been brought up, he couldn't help but notice just how dirty this kid was. Certainly, for living alone in a forest, the kid certainly kept himself more or less clean (certainly far more than Grimmjow at moments). He had terrible eating manners, but he knew how to get the grease out of his face and hands –for the most part. But that did not mean that the child was clean by any means. Not by Ichigo's standards.

"Whaat? But how am I not clean? I rinsed the mud away!"

Ichigo squinted. "But you're still dirty. There's dirt under your nails and your hair is obviously greasy."

"But it's always like this!"

Irritated, the older (looking) teen lifted his chin, "and that's exactly the problem!"

"Eeeeh?" Diapers whined, looking dismayed.

Ichigo stared at him, knowing of the troublesome ordeal he was getting himself in but…

They were not at war. He could afford to take time to clean himself properly. And those two as well.

(And like this, he'd make sure those people he had left behind would too have time to do something as mundane as shower to their heart's content, worried over not getting soap in their eyes instead of a blade through the heart.)

* * *

And thus, the mission of teaching the boy how to properly shower began.

First of all, Ichigo decided it was well time to purchase soap. He wasn't going to spend money on soap and shampoo when one was more than enough, and besides he wasn't going to sell water again for measly coppers more times than absolutely necessary. Actually, in the end he didn't even need to do it once, as the plump woman selling the toiletries in Rukongai had spotted the handful of flowers Ichigo had been too distracted to take out of his cloak (which, he had found to have pockets, much to his joy). The woman had assured him that it wasn't belladonna (which he had thought possible, given that it had been Diapers who had given it to him), and had suggested trading it for the bar of soap she had been trying to get twenty coppers out of.

Ichigo looked at her suspiciously, but really, he couldn't be bothered to try to bargain for something else. He had no use for the flowers and he wanted to get away from the throngs of people as quick as possible. He handed the flowers over and picked up the bar of grey soap. He was already about to disappear when he couldn't help but ask, "what are those flowers useful for anyway?"

The woman looked at him suspiciously, clutching them in the safety of her hands. "I'm surprised you wouldn't know, sir. These are good to deal with pain."

Huh.

Interesting, Ichigo nodded his thanks and disappeared from there.

* * *

Now, with weapons at hand, Ichigo set out to do the hardest part. Having those two clean up. He considered who would be more efficient to go after first and decided the beast had to go first.

So for that, Ichigo led the both of them to the river, he found a nice, dry boulder and told the kid to wash the animal. The boy stared from the bar of soap in his hands to the creature, a little panicky before mumbling, apparently embarrassed. "But how do you do this, Shinigami-san?"

"You have got to be kidding me." Ichigo mumbled to himself. "That's soap! Don't tell me you don't know how to use it!?"

Diapers panicked. "I-eh…" His brow scrunched up as he tried to come up with a purpose for the thing in his hands even as Prongs looked at him unimpressed and began trying to exit the river.

"Look, eh…." Ichigo was completely unsure how to breach the subject. After all, how did one not know how to take a shower? "Just take the bar of soap and… make bubbles with it?"

"H-how?" Diapers still looked closer to tears and for the love of god, Ichigo couldn't figure out why.

"Just… rub it in your hands, geez." Ichigo said, rubbing a scar over his shoulder ( _damn quincies)_. When the kid finally listened, he nodded. "Yes, like that. Just, stronger."

The kid looked marveled for some reason at the foam on his hands. "Look shinigami-san! Does this soap thing always do this?"

"Uh, yeah. So… now you have to cover that beast with it."

"He has a name, shinigami-san! He's Prongs!" The child reprimanded him even as he startled the creature by pressing soapy hands to his fur. The animal bucked in place as he got the child into view, after which he lowered his head to sniff at the bubbly mess on Diaper's hands and snorted, spraying it everywhere. "Prongs!" The child reprimanded, amidst laughter. "You got us covered! Did you see, Shinigami-san!"

"Yeah, good for you." Ichigo replied tonelessly, wondering exactly how long would this take. "Hurry it up kid, before it gets dark."

"Alright!" The kid said, but the animal did not seem to want to get more soap, shying away from the child which resulted in a mopping-wet game of tag and Ichigo jumping to the safety of a tree. This stretched out the time almost painfully, until the kid slipped on a wet rock and almost got eviscerated by Prong's antlers by mistake. Ichigo was already there, a hand stretched out to crush the animal's head but he was blocked again by the kid.

The damp child clung to the animal, soapy hands slipping on its fur, as he cried out, "no, Shinigami-san! Don't do anything to him! I'm fine! Please!"

Still calm, Ichigo lowered his hand to his side as he assessed them both. Tired, the man sighed, "alright then. Just… uh, hurry up."

Diapers looked at him a little dubiously but when the man backed up, he let a smile lit up his face. "Yes!"

Zangetsu coaxed him away and from the safety of his tree branch, the War Hero wondered if he should have just let the creature bathe in its own filth. He watched in mild amusement how slowly, the creature resigned itself to its fate and finally Diapers was able to lather it in a soapy mess. After it, Ichigo was forced to inform the surprised other that he needed to rinse it out, which took another half an hour or so. Then while the kid finally went on to clean himself Ichigo remembered that nights tended to be cold and he disappeared to get a fire started.

When he returned, sure enough both soaked creatures were trembling and looking lost and miserable. Ichigo wondered if the kid had not taken his clothes off for his bath, but decided that it didn't really matter. He herded them towards the campfire he had built after which he ordered the kid to take off his clothes, after Prongs had showered them in water droplets and fur as it shook itself like a dog. Ichigo had gotten annoyed but was once more stopped by the kid who was already prepared for it.

The kid didn't seem too keen to part with his clothes so Ichigo ruefully offered him his newly acquired cloak while his own clothes got dry.

The stag laid down close to the kid and a tad too close to the fire, falling asleep in a second, but the kid started wailing that he was hungry.

* * *

As Ichigo gutted yet another poor rabbit, he couldn't help but wonder what his life had been reduced to. Never, in his all twenty years of living would he have presumed he would become a babysitter. Heck, children tended to cry whenever Ichigo was in the same room and that had been way before his face had gotten all cut up.

He just hoped this was for the best.

(He ignored the memory that wanted to surface, of a boy no older than thirteen who had taken on the job to protect his precious little sisters, taking care of their every need until they could do it by themselves.)

To be continued

* * *

 **AN.**

I knooow this is still very much Ichigo-centric, but he's trying his best to focus on what he has to do, but the war is far too present in his mind. Like, a couple weeks ago his world was ending, give him a break. We'll be jumping back and forth until Ichigo can take control of his memories.

On other news, bath time! Also entrepreneur Ichigo! Kisuke would be so proud lmao.

You guys suggesting things or trying to guess what things are gonna happen is really fun to read and some are really good and might be included in the story.

By the way, I'm thinking that maybe I'll write a couple outtakes in my tumblr, if you'd like to swing by. I have the same url as my penname.

What do you think of this chapter? Fun or boring? It was a bit shorter but it had to end there, the next scenes probably have to do with the Three Musketeers. Maybe. I have nothing on chapter 13 hehe. Also, I know it's NaNoWriMo, but I really doubt I'll be participating, this will probably be the last update until december or january. Read you later!


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